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Old 08-23-2008, 08:48 AM   #11
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Re: Daughter snubbed....

((HUGS)) I hate when people do this. I have already decided that even this Nov. when DD turns 4 that we will invite every friend that she has met in playdates and gymnastics, since she already is talking about having a party. I don't want to leave anyone out, cuz I know that kids can tell when things aren't fair. Plus who would leave out a child if they didn't have to?


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Old 08-23-2008, 09:03 AM   #12
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Re: Daughter snubbed....

I am curious, is this a private school or a public school? If it is private and there are smaller classes, I would have a chat with the teacher. The reason I am distinguishing this is because in a private school they are concerned about character building too and the teacher would be willing to cross the line. I would ask the teacher to please tell the mom to tell her daughter about discretion as a whole. I am sure your DD was not the only one out of the whole class that was excluded. If that is the case, I am sure she was not the only one with hurt feelings. It could be that the other mom just was not aware of these things. If you go up to her at church, it can start a whole can of worms for year to come. She will always think of you as the mom that griped about her dd not being invited. It they are going to be in a small school together for years, this can socially affect your DD. Unfortunately, I have seen it happen
So, IMO, having the teacher intercede, makes it seem like it was more in general on behalf of ANY kids that were not invited. Since this is a problem that happened at school, I would go that route. I am sure the teacher has dealt with it MANY times before!

Good luck!
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:15 AM   #13
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Re: Daughter snubbed....

IMHO its their perogative to invite or not invite whomever they want. Sure your daughter is a little sad now but she will get over it if YOU don't make a big deal about it. There are going to be lots of things in her life that others do that she isn't included in. Maybe the invite was lost in the mail or maybe not. Just tell her these things happen and its nothing to be too upset about because some day she is going to do something or be invited somewhere where they are not.
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:23 AM   #14
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Re: Daughter snubbed....

I'm sorry for your daughter!

This is the reason why we have 2 rules on birthday parties in our house.
1. We don't go to parties we are invited to (unless they are family or friends our sons have known all of their life). It just makes it easier and no one's feelings get hurt when they are not invited. I do, however, send a small gift.
2. We only have family parties for our children. When they are old enough to make best friends and keep their parties to themselves (like jr high or middle school) then they can have friend parties. I'm not big on inviting everyone from the class. I really don't know most of the parents and I'm not a very social person. I also don't want my child's feelings to get hurt when only 3 or 4 kids show up.

I hope she is ok!
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Last edited by MyLil'Mountaineers; 08-23-2008 at 09:25 AM.
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Old 09-03-2008, 04:28 PM   #15
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Re: Daughter snubbed....

I was just curious if there was any update for such a frustrating situation. Did you say anything to the mother at Mass the next morning or get any explanation? How was your daughter at school the following Monday? I felt so horrible for her.
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