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Old 08-28-2008, 04:19 PM   #1
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Unhappy I need some support!

We got a call 2 days ago that the birthmom of our DFD is relinquishing her rights. It is a sad and happy moment for me as I cannot imagine what she is going through. We have always been a foster to adopt family so it wasn't even a question in our minds that we would say yes. Fast forward to today and "family" has been found!!! It is a second cousin in another state, whom she has never met. They are doing a homestudy on them and if they pass....then she goes to them, right? Do I get any say? What about the social worker? I am freaking out!

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Old 08-28-2008, 05:19 PM   #2
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Re: I need some support!

Oh no!! I'm not sure how it works but is there any way you can talk to bio mom? I'm sorry!
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Old 08-28-2008, 05:35 PM   #3
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Re: I need some support!

She has some pretty serious mental issues and one day she wants her to stay here and one day she doesn't so she isn't much help...
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Old 08-28-2008, 05:52 PM   #4
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Re: I need some support!

I'm so sorry. I don't know how this kind of thing works, but I did want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best. If you're like me, the "waiting and not knowing how it's going to go" period is always the worst part of any situation. What does your sw say? Good luck in any case!
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Old 08-28-2008, 06:59 PM   #5
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Re: I need some support!

She says we have to wait and see. This is her first case so she doesn't really know how it works!!!
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Old 08-28-2008, 08:09 PM   #6
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Re: I need some support!

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Old 08-28-2008, 09:40 PM   #7
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Re: I need some support!

I know for the most part if they can go to blood relatives MOST cases they want them to do this. I do know there was a mama that posted on here with a rant about the "system" that wasn't always the case because they were giving her brother a hard time getting custody of his son. I don't know mama, but I hope things work out well for all of you
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Old 08-28-2008, 10:09 PM   #8
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Re: I need some support!

Doesn't social services advocate for the child and try to do what is best for their interests? What about the child here? Going to a blood relative - a 2nd cousin - is that what is best for the child?
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Old 08-29-2008, 04:24 AM   #9
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Re: I need some support!

I'm sorry mama!! I hope she gets to stay with you!
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Old 08-29-2008, 05:36 AM   #10
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Re: I need some support!

Do not be overly worried. A lot of relative placements never work out. In Michigan the child needs to be in your home 12 months before they will consider a foster family over biological family.
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