View Poll Results: Should kids be forced to share their toys with their siblings?
Most toys belong to individuals only and kids can reserve the right to not share. 13 11.21%
It's okay to have individual toys, but they must be shared. 83 71.55%
Other 20 17.24%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-01-2008, 12:04 AM   #21
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

Most of the toys in our house are actually "mommy and daddy's toys" and we give permission to use them. We've had a very hard time with appropriate sharing without excluding the odd man out and using manipulation to get what they want . The kids do have a few toys each that are special to them and are 'thiers' only.

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Old 09-01-2008, 12:28 AM   #22
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

My kids MUST share their toys unless it is a very special toy and in that event we don't have it out around the younger siblings where it might cause jealousy
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:32 AM   #23
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

I agree with you. Except for us my older ds is 4 and he has a lot of toys that are inappropriate for my younger dd (1 yr) so those are his and only his
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:53 AM   #24
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

I think that if every child has only their own toys and never has to share that they will have a hard time adjusting to life. One poster compared making kids share to a communist country. That is RIDICULOUS! We all have to share in life. We've all see the stingy kid that can't share and then no one wants to play with them. How will these kids operate when they are married and have to share everything?

Americans in general are becoming so materialistic. We are so much more than what we possess. As long as we keep teaching our kids that we are what we own, then we will continue to have debt and bankruptcy and lack of savings issues in this country. I keep hearing politicians talking about how much harder things are now than when they were kids. When they were kids the average family had 1 car and a 1500 square foot house. Now we have 2 cars on average and a 2400 square foot house. No wonder we're having issues!
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Old 09-01-2008, 04:47 AM   #25
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvkadcl View Post
That was a tough one to answer either way so I did other. I have things that I don't want someone touching. I don't want it broken because it's valuable or irreplaceable. Children are just small people that have feelings just like us and should be respected in the same way. What if they shared their toy and the other sibling broke it? That doesn't mean that they shouldn't learn to share with things like blocks or legos. But there should be some things that they don't have to share. There should be choices that they can make. And we can help them make those choices. It will also help them to understand why they can't touch everything of yours.

In our house some things can be played with by everyone and other things you must get permission. You may not always get the answer that you want.

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ITA!!!

My dd (5 years) has toys that she loves - not just lovies, but toys that she actually takes care of and that mean something to her - she shouldn't have to share if she doesn't want to - I don't share all my toys!

We have a standing rule in the house - if it comes into the lounge, it is fair play, if you don't want it played with keep it in your room. That applies to both girls, but dd#2 doesn't understand it yet (she's only 15 months). We have community toys in the lounge. If katie wants to share her toys with Aislinn, then she brings them downstairs so Aislinn can play with them with her. If they are playing between each other's rooms, then it is time for Katie to learn what putting it up means!
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Old 09-01-2008, 04:54 AM   #26
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

Oh - my eldest is in no ways stingy either. She loves sharing with her sister and I think it is in part because she is allowed to decide what she wants to share with some careful parenting for me. She knows it's nice to share and she does it well.
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Old 09-01-2008, 06:33 AM   #27
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

I believe children should learn to share with their peers. My daughter has a "lovey" which is her teddy bear that she is hesitant to let others hold, but when I tell her it might make them feel good she likes to show it off and let others see. Other everyday toys shouldnt be an issue. My daughter has more than one thing to play with in the house so she usually doesnt mind when someone else is playing with one of her toys and when she does, I gently say, "You have that toy all the time, let Johnny play with it while he is here." and thats all I have to say as I show her something else to play with.
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Old 09-01-2008, 06:53 AM   #28
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

my oldest is almost 4 & my youngest is 1. my dh & i agree that there are some toys that should belong to just that child. all kids should have something that is just theirs that they don't have to share. So, for example, DS#1 has transformers, and since DS#2 is 1 he's into everything, but he is not allowed to play w/the transformers unless DS#1 says its OK. same goes for the opposite. if DS#2 has a toy that is just his, then DS#1 has to ask permission to play with it. of course, we intervene here and help DS#1 to listen to DS#2 (no...DS#2 is not verbal...we just make it up so that DS#1 understands how to have the conversation about sharing). for the most part, this works. it is hard sometimes on both kids, but they have to learn that just because they like it or want it doesn't mean it's theirs to have. They have to learn that sometimes you just can't have everything you want. In the same token, they also need to have something that is theirs & only theirs. think about...how many times do you wait until all the kids are in bed to dig out that one container of double chocolate yogurt you've been waiting on all day that you didn't want to share w/any of the kids??? or how many times did you hide your favorite jeans from your sister so she couldn't ask to borrow them??? same premise. anyway...that's what works for us
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:53 AM   #29
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

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Originally Posted by diapermommy View Post
having individual toys and community toys would be ideal, BUT in reality are either of your li's old enough to understand which is which
My son most is definitely old enough to understand that. He knows exactly which toys are his, and can even sort every single one into 2 baskets - "hers" and "mine."

I really liked certain points in the article that a pp shared. Very insightful, and I like SOME of the ideas presented there. We'll definitely begin allowing DS to have rights and ownership over his stuff. Not that he didn't have rights before, but up until now if DD found something of his, I let her play with it. Now I think we'll go ahead and make his special toys off limits to her, her special toys off limits to him and allow sharing opportunities with specific toys to be deemed community property.
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:37 AM   #30
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

this is what we do in our home....

when a toy is new...bought for a particular child...that child has 2 days to play with it without having to share it.

after that it is fair game.

the only exception to this is the ds hand held games....they belong to who ever bought them. as i hate video games and the older 3 children must use their own money to buy the games. *if it is bought with money they earned they have the right to say how it is cared for*

if there is a toy that belongs to A and she isn't playing with it but has a melt down when K picks it up...A loses the right to play with that toy for 3 days.

2nd time it happens over the same toy the toy gets put up for a week.

3rd time...toy is gone

*eta....i'm speaking of the younger A & K...lol...the older 3 dc don't have toys anylonger*
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