View Poll Results: Should kids be forced to share their toys with their siblings?
Most toys belong to individuals only and kids can reserve the right to not share. 13 11.21%
It's okay to have individual toys, but they must be shared. 83 71.55%
Other 20 17.24%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-01-2008, 10:02 AM   #31
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

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Originally Posted by carebear1779 View Post
All toys are in the playroom, as bedrooms are for sleeping.
This would be an ideal situation, but our house doesn't have enough "rooms" to designate one as the playroom. So, the kids' toys are in their room.

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Old 09-01-2008, 10:16 AM   #32
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

Voted other. I think for the most part I agree with the second choice, but there are special toys that I don't expect kids to share. Those would be loveys or the older kids things with small pieces that could be lost or things they bought with their own money(ask first). These things are kept in their bedroom in their bed or dresser, two places off limits to other people. Everything else is shared by all the kids and is in the playroom.
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Old 09-01-2008, 10:39 AM   #33
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

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The following is an article that helped DH and I w/ this issue.
No disrespect, but I don't really agree with this article. I don't think I should run my home like a government. This author is trying to say we shouldn't be 'communist" in sharing toys--does that mean he also thinks we should be democratic in other things? Our children should have voting rights in family decisions? Can we be elected "out of office"? I just don't think its a very practical analogy. Also I don't know about anybody else, but I think its a bit much to divide up every signle item in the house as belong to one or the other. I WANT there to be community toys that they share. They can have some of their own special toys they don't need to share, but the rest are communcal.

(disclaimer: this is all theoretical so far as dd2 isn't old enough to really share the toys dd1 has. but they are so close in age that in a year it will definitely be an issue).
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:05 PM   #34
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

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No disrespect, but I don't really agree with this article. I don't think I should run my home like a government. This author is trying to say we shouldn't be 'communist" in sharing toys--does that mean he also thinks we should be democratic in other things? Our children should have voting rights in family decisions? Can we be elected "out of office"? I just don't think its a very practical analogy. Also I don't know about anybody else, but I think its a bit much to divide up every signle item in the house as belong to one or the other. I WANT there to be community toys that they share. They can have some of their own special toys they don't need to share, but the rest are communcal.

(disclaimer: this is all theoretical so far as dd2 isn't old enough to really share the toys dd1 has. but they are so close in age that in a year it will definitely be an issue).
I definitely agree that a home shouldn't be run like a government. Parents are in charge and some items are not open for discussion! I'm coming to the conclusion that a balance is in order when it comes to ownership of toys. Some will belong to individuals, and some will be community property.
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Old 09-02-2008, 09:49 PM   #35
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

The point of the article is that children aren't forced to share, they know what is theirs and feel secure in that. My DD LOVES to share, b/c she knows the TRUE benefit, not that it's just something she is supposed to do.
The gov't analogy is to help you see what your child feels when they have no security and how they don't understand why they have to share.
BTW, all the 'stingy' kids I know are like that b/c they are so afraid someone will come up and take what they have (b/c it's community property) that they huddle w/ their things. If that child was allowed to have things that they have rights to, them more than likely they will learn to share for the joy of it.

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Oh - my eldest is in no ways stingy either. She loves sharing with her sister and I think it is in part because she is allowed to decide what she wants to share with some careful parenting for me. She knows it's nice to share and she does it well.
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:09 PM   #36
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

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Originally Posted by Jesus_Freak_955 View Post
The point of the article is that children aren't forced to share, they know what is theirs and feel secure in that. My DD LOVES to share, b/c she knows the TRUE benefit, not that it's just something she is supposed to do.
The gov't analogy is to help you see what your child feels when they have no security and how they don't understand why they have to share.
Makes sense
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:33 PM   #37
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

Teach the oldest to share pretty much all of his/her things. Teach him to help the baby out, and to trade- but make him respect baby's rights as well.

Phrase things in a positive note. When the baby grabs a toy from the older one, say "Look! Baby wants to play with you!"

My 2 youngest are 16 mos apart- they are 28 mos and 12 mos and really do well overall together. I try to defend each one when necessary, let them work it out when possible, and ALWAYS encourage sharing over possessions.

I made a mistake w/my oldest in that I let her have too much say in what she could share and let her have too many "special" toys. It made her reluctant to share and gave her a sense of entitlement, rather than a sense of community and sharing.

My 28 mos old is mostly very good at sharing- I encourage it every single chance I get and also have him be a good friend- like if a friend is over they get to decide what video we watch.

It is hard. The line is not clear. Do what you feel is best and do not worry too much about everything being even.

HTH!
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:39 PM   #38
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Re: A Question about How Your Kids "Share" Their Toys

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Originally Posted by RebekahG77 View Post
This would be an ideal situation, but our house doesn't have enough "rooms" to designate one as the playroom. So, the kids' toys are in their room.
I wanted to note that my almost 8 yr old *does* get to keep things away from the boys. But that is b/c some of the things she has are inappropriate for them to play with or breakable. I do tell her that if she leaves it out, it is basically fair game.

The boys share a room and are so close in age, that the rules are different for them. They mostly are required to share everything. But, if my 28 mos old wants to do something that he does not want the baby to bother, I tell him to put it up on a table. And I help him keep the baby away to a point, but mostly I try to give him the tools to deal with the "baby invasion".
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