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Old 09-08-2008, 10:23 AM   #11
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Re: We're "those" parents

Seriously, Lilygrace, I you! Your advice is always kind and well thought out. I've been using some of the techniques in the link you posted and it's amazing.

Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I read a great piece once about how it's not the children's behavior - it's how we deal with it. Kids are going to act up, do stupid things, and make as many mistakes as they can. But how we choose to handle it makes all the difference. Being 3yo and 18mo will pass, and so will the tantrums, biting, hitting, and hair pulling. They'll be replaced by other phases. Knowing they'll be stupid helps me keep my calm. It's like the difference between knowing I'll be 10 minutes late to a meeting and trying not to be but still being 10 minutes late. The stress level goes down when I'm prepared and I can handle things more appropriately.

When mine were little I used to keep a small notebook. In it I wrote down any skirmishes and how I handled it, and then later, when I was calmer, I wrote how I would have wanted to handle it - I wanted to be able to teach more, be kinder, be more empathetic..after a while the notebook's ideas started to take over more and more until they became the first tools I grabbed when faced with a situation. I made a list of ones that worked consistantly and posted them here in case others were stuck, too. I also used up a lot of post-it notes...all over my walls, bedroom door..just daily reminders of the parent I wanted to be. I had inspirational quotes, directions, and tips to get me through the day.

You'll fall into a method that works for you. It does get much better. I have to say I really like age 9. It's a vast improvement over the toddler years.


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Old 09-08-2008, 04:04 PM   #12
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Re: We're "those" parents

I'm going to say it's the age. My kids are getting a bit instead of fighting *all* the time, they'll egg each other on and get into trouble together rather than get in trouble for fighting. Mine are now 4.5yo & 3yo.
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Old 09-08-2008, 06:50 PM   #13
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Re: We're "those" parents

Thank you ladies for all the kind words! I'm so glad to know I'm not alone! Is time-out even an option for the 18month old?>>>>>

Honestly, I don't see how a time out will help 2 young siblings get along better. Squabbling is normal, no siblings will get along all the time. You can control how you react to it though. Try not to take sides in the fights. Give the kids time away from each other for a few minutes before getting to the problem. Show them different ways to handle the situation(at least the 3 y/o). It will get better as they get older-children who are treated gently will model it eventually
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Old 09-08-2008, 07:55 PM   #14
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Re: We're "those" parents

I didn't read all of the responses...but I have to say that it might not get any better. My girls are 7 and 9 yrs. old and they could fight about anything!! And all day long.
I'm having trouble with 2 1/2 yr. old DS now. He's a whiner and it embarrasses the heck out of me. Everywhere I go he starts whining or pitching fits. I just want to crawl under a rock. I've tried redirecting his attention, firm talking, sweet talking. Nothing works. I try not to spank, but sometimes I do...doesn't seem to do anything at all though so I usually don't bother.

sorry....just advice for you.
Amanda: mommy to DDs Alyssa and Trinity (ADHD) and DS Joseph "LJ" (aspergers, ADHD) and my fur baby Bella Rae Wife to Joe
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