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Old 09-09-2008, 08:17 PM   #1
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Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

My 1yo is still not going to sleep on her own or sleeping through the night. If anyone but me tries to put her to sleep or back to sleep she screams bloody murder. I told myself we would never use the Ferber method, but I am really seriously considering it.

I need to do something this has to stop. I know this is not a popular method around these parts but we have tried every non-cio method I have found (seriously) and the ONLY thing that works is mommy rocking and singing to her until she is dead asleep and THEN putting her in the crib (and doing the whole thing over again 1 or 2 more times in the night). She doesn't have to be AS asleep for nap time, but still rocking and singing to sleep (I walk around singing the darn bedtime song all day because it is etched in my mind... I used to like it...)

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Old 09-09-2008, 08:34 PM   #2
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? I know how frustrating it is, mama. It takes time and patience is all I can say. Good luck.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:52 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama_Lola View Post
Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? I know how frustrating it is, mama. It takes time and patience is all I can say. Good luck.
I have and i have tried most everything in there
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Old 09-09-2008, 10:52 PM   #4
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

I had to to do this with my guy. He got to the point where i had to lay down with him or he wouldnt go to sleep and then to the point where i had to stay with him or he wouldnt stay asleep... he goes to bed at 7.. it was not possible for me to go to bed at 7. I tried laying with him longer thining he would be in a deeper sleep. nope.. 30-45 m even an hour once.. nope as soon as i moved he woke..

so we started putting him down for his morning nap by himself in his crib (we co-slept), did that for a week almost, then did his second nap, then did the bedtime.. he was 10.5m then. It worked.

Just do what you are comfortable with mama. what works for one person might not another. you have to do whats right for your family not everyone else..

good luck!
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Old 09-09-2008, 11:34 PM   #5
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

I had to do this with my DD when she was 15M old - let me start by saying she's 8 years old now and a "healthy, well adjusted child" so far so good...

Anyways I did up to 15 mins, no longer, 5 , 10, 15 - it took 2 nights by the third she went to sleep right away...

It was SO HARD...SO HARD...SO HARD...so get a friend who believe's in what you're doing to sit there w/ you and say "don't go in there yet, not yet..." and an kitchen timer.

I was gonna quit if it didn't work in 3 days, but it did, it was heartbreaking, but it worked She still crawled into bed with me and got tucked in (still gets tucked in)...for years but at least she could fall asleep on her own...

Good luck mama
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:26 AM   #6
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

We did it too! I was like you--totally against it, read the No cry sleep solution...DS wouldn't go to sleep unless I rocked him for like 30-60 min. for each nap and bedtime. He would wake up about 4-5 times a night. It was very overwhelming for me and taking its toll on me. I was becoming very resentful of DS and I didn't like that attitude in myself. So when he was about 13 mos., we did the ferber method and it worked like a charm! All we have to do now is lay him down in his crib and he sleeps through the night. I in turn began sleeping through the night and actually dreaming!! I hadn't had a dream in a year...I was also a happier mama, which is very important.

But yes, it was very hard that first night. Very difficult listening to him scream and cry. It only took an hour for us, which seems like an eternity when he's crying. Finally, he fell asleep. The next day he was my same happy little boy and didn't love me any less. Sometimes I think that our mothers and grandmothers did know what they were doing....You just need to do what works for YOU and your family. People on DS can become feisty when you don't do things their way, but you just need to learn to decide for yourself what's best. No guilt needed.
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Old 09-10-2008, 11:57 AM   #7
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

"The NO-Cry Sleep Solution" never worked for any of my girls. We used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for them and it worked like a charm. To me it's like a modified Ferber Method..you can do what you're most comfortable with. I know how it feels, so good luck!
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Old 09-10-2008, 01:56 PM   #8
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

I didn't read the book so we didn't use this method exactly but we did have to use a cio method. Only went for 5-10 min. of crying then soothed him. It only took 2 or 3 days. DH had to do it since I couldn't handle the crying. He said it was really hard for him but he knew we'd all get better sleep once it was done. He now sleeps 12-13 hours a night.
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Old 09-10-2008, 02:12 PM   #9
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

We did it too. I know it's not popular around here, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, else would work for my son. I am a much better mom because I am rested and he is a happier kid because he is too. It worked like a charm. We didn't go longer than 20 minutes. The first night, it was 2 hours!! It was horrible and very hard. The next night 45 minutes and on down from there. The key to making it be successful is consistancy. This comes directly (but not quoted) from Ferber and hopefully I won't get flamed for this, but one thing to remember is crying is not the goal. It's a by-product. The goal is the child learning to fall asleep on their own. So, if you let the child/baby cry for 45 minutes but then pick them up and rock them to sleep (or whatever you do), they didn't practice falling asleep on their own. They went to sleep the same way they always do and the crying was in vein. That's not to say that as a parent you can't make a judgement call and decide it's time to call it quits for the night. I've done that. It's just something to think about that first night as you are thinking of giving in. If you decide to do it, good luck! I promise your DD will still love you in the AM.
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Old 09-10-2008, 02:20 PM   #10
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Re: Anyone Ferberize a 1yo???

We let our LO CIO- I wish it wasn't such a sore subject around here because for some people it's the only thing that works. Our daughter is the best sleeper now and I will probually do it again if I have to.

I agree with ECo-baby who said she did up to 15 mins (no longer, 5 , 10, 15minutes) It actually only took our daughter 2 days and she hasn't EVER had a night like that since!!

Good luck!
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