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Old 09-10-2008, 10:09 PM   #1
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I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

That's what my MIL told me today. My oldest DS weaned at 9 months (well, it was a nursing strike but I couldn't tell the difference. ) Sam is now 15 months, I am pregnant, and my OB wants me to wean. Apparently my MIL agrees with him.

I want you to know, my MIL and I are best friends. She is usually very supportive but when it comes to things I'm a little "crunchy" about, she gets weird. For example- when I was pregnant with my third, I wanted to try to have him naturally, no epi (which I had had with my first two), she told me that I wouldn't be able to do it. I wasn't. But I do wonder if she had been more supportive, I might have been able to.

So, she supports bf'ing, but she thinks that tandem nursing is gross, and she thinks I should wean Sam. Thankfully, DH is super supportive.

She told me today that "Because Ben weaned so early, you're only still nursing Sam for YOU. It's because YOU want to keep nursing. Not because he needs it."

Grrr! I know the facts, I KNOW that he still needs it, but she won't hear it. I'm so frustrated.

Thanks for letting me vent.


I'm Bekah.
Mama to 5 with one on the way. A(13), B (11), S (8), J (6), H (3), and Nugget due 10/7/16.
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:17 PM   #2
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

Ha ha ha ha ha! Your MIL would *love* me :grin: - I nursed ODS until he was 35 mos, I just kept nursing until he weaned naturally. (Later we found out he had/has some serious food allergies/sensitivities. No wonder the kid nursed *forever*).

ETA: I had a terrible delivery with ODS - forceps and many, many interventions after the epidural. DS2 and 3 however were all natural. I have a really high tolerance for pain and have back labor - all 3 times - will probably have again with #4. The only drugs I had with DS3 were for the induction, but no pain meds. You know they don't give medals for not having drugs at your delivery and you gotta do what works for you, but it feels pretty good to push that baby out under your own power.
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Last edited by frogandtoad; 09-10-2008 at 10:19 PM.
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:18 PM   #3
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

no, it's not selfish! no matter how long you nurse for it still gives you LO nourishment, and comfort ...i nursed my dd until just after her second birthday, through my whole pregnancy w/ ds... i tandem nursed for a couple of months..but weaned my dd for other reasons.. i still miss our bf'ing relationship.
Miranda, oh so crunchy mama to Faelynn (12/29/05) and Evan (1/5/08) Hazel Elizabeth (2/27/10)
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:24 PM   #4
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

Sorry mama! Don't have much advice, but you've got my sympathy!

ps- I had the same reaction from several people when I planned on having my first without an epi. I don't think it is wrong for anyone to get them or not to, but I don't get why so many people are automatically unsupportive or downright alarmist about that particular goal. If I said I wanted to run a marathon, every person I know would be cheering me one and supporting me, even though I can't run worth anything, but if I say I am going to have a baby without an epidural, some of those same people are just as convinced that I will utterly fail. Just don't get it sometimes. It is way harder to do things without a support system.
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:27 PM   #5
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

IMO its completely ridiculous to entertain anyone else's ideas about when/what/how/why/where etc...a mama should feed her child. Do what you know is the right thing for your baby and what feels right for you, not because someone has their idea about what they think is right. Bottom line, your the mom; MIL is not.

Recovering CD addict & momma to DS, who refuses to wear CD's no matter how fluffy
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:30 PM   #6
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

If you are being selfish...then I must be really bad as I am still nursing my DD who turned 2 last month despite some family objections.

J (8/15/06) and L (4/25/13)
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:34 PM   #7
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

Oh my goodness. It's not selfish at all! It's more selfish, IMHO, to wean your baby when he isn't ready! I wish your MIL would listen to reason because it is attitudes like hers that lead many moms to wean before they or their little ones are truly ready. I hope that you will continue nursing your sweet one as long as feels right to the both of you.
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:42 PM   #8
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Thumbs up Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

Absolutely not!! Nurse on! There is nothing wrong with nursing during a pregnancy or up to whatever age works for you and your child! You will instinctually do what is right for your family, if it's tandem then so be it!

As for the CAN do it without. Use this group for support if you need more! Have a wonderful pregnancy!
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Old 09-11-2008, 01:54 PM   #9
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

I'm so glad I'm not that close w/ my MIL or own mother, as one thinks I should wean at 9 months and the other was telling me to give dd some milk (not sure if she meant formula) when she was a newborn 'just to make sure' I was feeding her enough. She was so proud that she gave my sister the same advise (supplement)- my sister laughed it off - and then the doctor told her the same thing. Unfortunately, she followed the dr's advise, and needless to say, she didn't breastfeed for long.

They don't much give me advise about BF anymore. It's no fun for them I guess as I always say "oh really?" and they know I am not biting...

Mama to Julia Maite 1/27/08 and #2 on the way - due January 2010 (Green Team)
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Old 09-11-2008, 02:02 PM   #10
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Re: I'm being selfish for nursing past 1 year?

People who say a woman does it only for "her" really have no idea what it's like to nurse a toddler, lol.
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