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Old 09-15-2008, 05:33 PM   #11
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

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I just wanted to let you know that although you probably feel mature enough to adopt, I think it will be hard for you. All of the agencies I have looked at so far have required that adoptive parents be 25 in order to be entered into their program. I am only 26 and have wanted a child for many years, so I don't agree with this policy, but it is what it is and I just wanted to let you know.
really? sad.

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Old 09-15-2008, 08:40 PM   #12
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

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Well since you are volunteering I have loads of questions . First off dh and I will be starting to adoption process next year (spring hopefully!) and I will be 22 and dh will be 29. I am just wondering if that would deter a birthmom. I know I am young but my whole life people have always told me I was far more mature than my age led people to believe. I have a 15 month old and I know I was meant to be a mom. I am just concerned that a birthmom will see that I am only 22 or 23 and think I am to young to be a good mother? Also did the way your bio sons adoptive parents look have anything to do with your choosing them? I should clarify. Dh and I are coucasion (I am sooo white-never tan type of thing) but we are open to any race. I don't know your race but if you are african american would you/did you adopt your bioson to white parents? Or vice versa? I really don't want to offend anyone here bringing this up but I have been wanting to ask someone for quite a while. I have more questions but I have to head to bed and I don't want to scare off our question answerer . Thanks so much for offering to help us out by answering some questions. I think bio parents who are brave enough and care enough to try to do what is best for their child future are amazing and I really appreciate their sacrifice. Thank you.
I was 21 when I adopted my first child, we did not use an agency and our son was placed with us by a girl who lived in our apt building. WE did have to do a home study and the social worker never mentioned the fact that I was young. If you start out as foster parents then you should not have any issues! adn in this day and age they are desperate for foster parents and should not consider your age an issue.
Good luck!
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Old 09-17-2008, 10:57 AM   #13
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

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If you start out as foster parents then you should not have any issues! adn in this day and age they are desperate for foster parents and should not consider your age an issue.
Good luck!
I was 22 when we became foster parents!
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Old 09-17-2008, 11:21 AM   #14
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

Yes as a foster parent they didn't care about my age, but if you are looking to adopt a newborn through private adoption it gets harder. You probably wouldn't be able to go through an agency, you would have to find a way to do the advertising yourself to find a birth mother and then go through an attorney who I am sure wouldn't care how old you are. The upside to doing it that way is that it is cheaper since you only need to pay for the homestudy and the attorney.
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Old 09-17-2008, 11:29 AM   #15
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

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I was 21 when I adopted my first child, we did not use an agency and our son was placed with us by a girl who lived in our apt building. WE did have to do a home study and the social worker never mentioned the fact that I was young. If you start out as foster parents then you should not have any issues! adn in this day and age they are desperate for foster parents and should not consider your age an issue.
Good luck!
Foster Parenting is something we just aren't interested in. We want a larger family with kids fairly close in age. I also don't have the mentality to be able to care for a child and then have it taken from me and given to someone else. Some people can handle that and those who can are amazing in my books. I'm just not one of those people. I would love to find someone or have someone reffered to us not through an agency and do things that way but we are open to whichever way our next baby finds it's way to us. Wether through an agency or by word of mouth.
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Old 09-17-2008, 12:00 PM   #16
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

On the flip side of the age thing, I am 37 and my DH is 28. Would MY age have deterred you from choosing us a birth parents?
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Old 09-17-2008, 05:59 PM   #17
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On the flip side of the age thing, I am 37 and my DH is 28. Would MY age have deterred you from choosing us a birth parents?
nope, as long as i felt a tug at my heart, the age really wouldn't have made a difference. just as long as your profile was heartwarming etc, that would not be an issue for me. good luck if you are trying to adopt, though!!! i wish you the best!
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:09 PM   #18
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

Thanks! We are TTC now but plan to adopt one or more children. I have been told that once I am over 40 it will be impossible. But we'd like to do a private open adoption.
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Old 09-18-2008, 07:52 AM   #19
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

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Thanks! We are TTC now but plan to adopt one or more children. I have been told that once I am over 40 it will be impossible. But we'd like to do a private open adoption.
awesome! open adoptions are great if it's in the child's best interest. let us know what happens!
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Old 09-18-2008, 04:29 PM   #20
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Re: inside scoop on a birthmommy

Me and my husband have had a short and sweet adoption story. We have been selected twice in about 5 months. We will have a baby girl in about 2-4 weeks. I have only talked to our birthmother twice. She does not want to have much communication with us. At the hospital- I do not know what to say to her. We have not even met her in person. I am scared that if I say the wrong thing- she won't sign the paper- but if I don't talk she will think I am stuck up. How do I make her feel comfortable talking to us?
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