inside scoop on a birthmommy

[armywife08]

Originally Posted by coateslc Me and my husband have had a short and sweet adoption story. We have been selected twice in about 5 months. We will have a baby girl in about 2-4 weeks. I have only talked to our birthmother twice. She does not want to have much communication with us. At the hospital- I do not know what to say to her. We have not even met her in person. I am scared that if I say the wrong thing- she won't sign the paper- but if I don't talk she will think I am stuck up. How do I make her feel comfortable talking to us?

wow! how awesome for you! how sad of a situation. she's going to be COMPLETELY emotional or COMPLETELY unemotional, if that makes sense. she will be TERRIFIED whether she shows it or not. i would say, just make it short and nice. tell her how much you appreciate the gift she is giving you and that you will ensure that this baby will be loved and cared for without a doubt. say that you've been waiting for this special baby or something like that. i dunno, it makes me feel good when amanda tells me that she loves tyler with all of her heart and that she is so thankful for him. tell her that you would love to have a relationship with her (only if you do) if and when she is ready. if she's not ready, then ask if she would like pictures periodically. set up an email that's specifically for her to email you. in case you want some privacy at first, that's what we did. anyways, i'm so happy for you, i will pray that she will be strong to sign the papers. please let me know how things go, i will be praying for you all.

[coateslc]

Originally Posted by armywife08 wow! how awesome for you! how sad of a situation. she's going to be COMPLETELY emotional or COMPLETELY unemotional, if that makes sense. she will be TERRIFIED whether she shows it or not. i would say, just make it short and nice. tell her how much you appreciate the gift she is giving you and that you will ensure that this baby will be loved and cared for without a doubt. say that you've been waiting for this special baby or something like that. i dunno, it makes me feel good when amanda tells me that she loves tyler with all of her heart and that she is so thankful for him. tell her that you would love to have a relationship with her (only if you do) if and when she is ready. if she's not ready, then ask if she would like pictures periodically. set up an email that's specifically for her to email you. in case you want some privacy at first, that's what we did. anyways, i'm so happy for you, i will pray that she will be strong to sign the papers. please let me know how things go, i will be praying for you all.

Thank you so much for the advice! I will let everyone know when she arrives!