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Old 09-19-2008, 03:50 PM   #1
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Need advice w my "no gifts" bday gathering

I have read some of the old threads about the no gifts bday parties. So I can't be the ONLY one in the world totally overwhelmed by toys. My soon to be 3 year old will have a party in another state attended by all grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins (something like 40 to 50 people). I would love to offer gift suggestions to them but no one asked for any and my unsolicited advice would not go over well. I foresee lots of plastic toys with small parts that I will need to keep separate from our youngest child. My parents in particular will buy tons of dollar gifts, so that the child will have lots to unwrap. Family is family, so that party is just the way it is.

His actual bday is before that trip, so we wanted to have cake on his bday. It falls on a weekend, so we thought we would just invite some families over that have kids that he plays with. I called and for most of them, they were totally confused by my request. I felt awkward explaining it, but I know he will get 20 to 30 gifts at the family party. I just wanted our friends to gather and enjoy cake. I am pretty sure some of them will bring a gift anyways. When should I have my child open it? Does my request seem like I made any of them feel that I didn't want to bring a gift to their kids' parties?


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Old 09-19-2008, 10:29 PM   #2
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Re: Need advice w my "no gifts" bday gathering

I'm probably no help.

This is why we only do small parties and only every other bday. It's just too much otherwise.

Now my family and friends are also not big spenders and usually ask what we need/want. It is AWESOME!

But I will say that children LOVE the process of gift giving. It would be very hard for them to understand that they couldn't pick something and wrap it up and give it at the party. Many adults love it too. That might be why you are getting resistance.
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Old 09-20-2008, 09:15 AM   #3
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Re: Need advice w my "no gifts" bday gathering

You know what is so awesome? Several times I asked my child what he would like for his bday and he always describes how he would like the cake to look. It is so innocent.

I did try shopping with him for the last friend that turned 3. My child is not ready to understand giving or sharing. It was way uglier than it needed to be.
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Old 09-20-2008, 09:21 AM   #4
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Re: Need advice w my "no gifts" bday gathering

Our mommy group always celebrates our LO's bdays, but we usually don't do gifts, and just announce that we want the pleasure of our friends and our LO's friends company for their birthday, and want to spend time together celebrating a special day with some cupcakes and juice or something. It's easier though because it's the same for every child, so it's not like one of the mamas would expect gifts and feel weird not bringing one. Of course if anyone insisted on bringing gifts it would be graciously accepted, but it's not the norm.
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