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Old 09-20-2008, 05:50 PM   #21
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

I get this one a lot and I only have two kids. My two kids are 15 months apart though, and I think that's what inspires most people to comment on it. I even get it from others who have more than one child, so I think they mean that my age gap is a handful, in a way that implies that they couldn't imagine having their kids this close together. I don't mind it because . . . my kids ARE a handful. I totally look up to and respect mothers of three under three because I think my two under two are a full plate. There are times when I'll be wearing my 9 month old and also have to carry my two year old (maybe he's tired, or he was going to start a tantrum because I didn't buy him a ball or whatever). It's no biggie because my Beco makes the 9 month old feel weightless and I *do* have two hips after all. But I get the comment every single time I do that.

At the end of the day . . . my life is crazy and hectic because of having two babies. If others comment on it it doesn't really annoy me because IT'S TRUE. I know that these are the years of our lives that DH and I will look back on and remember in a blur, but they're sure wonderful while we're living them. And . . . right now the plan is still to have more. I'm sure I'll hear that I have my hands full every time I leave the house when that happens. But hey . . . if I was a child-free woman, pleasantly shopping on my own and about to go back to my quiet apartment and read a book or something, I would DEFINITELY think that a mother wrangling all of her kids had her hands full. I just don't think it's an insult.

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Old 09-20-2008, 05:54 PM   #22
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

I get this comment a LOT, and I mean, on a daily basis a lot!! I have 5 boys, twins to boot! But I would say 85% of the time when we're in the store they're actually REALLY well behaved, better than most other kids I see in the store with only themself or 1 sibling ya know?
Like another poster mentioned, the person making this comment doesn't realize what a distraction they are to you, you have a very specific task at hand and they're basically stepping in front of you, asking you questions and expecting answers when you're unprepared and on the spot with however many kids in tow.
But don't get me wrong, I love when people ask a totally normal question like "How much milk/bread/clothes/etc do you go through in a week? WOW!" but I absolutely cannot stand personal and invasive questions about whether we're trying for a girl, are going to have a girl (DUH!! If I was I would have 2 kids ago!! LOL) or if we believe in birth control... We're in a grocery store for crying out loud!!! Get a clue!

While my boys are definatly more than "a hand full", a perfect stranger doesn't really need to tell me that! It only compounds the problem (if there is one) and offends me if there isn't! I try not to just push my opinion on other people and don't like when people push their opinion on me. There is a mom on our baseball team that adopted her daughter and she always rolls her eyes or has some comment about us over-populating the earth and such... Mmmmkay!
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:02 PM   #23
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

I kinda get offended when people say things like "oh, I could never BF after they have teeth" My DS is just over 12 m and has about 9 full teeth plus 3 or 4 cutting through right now...yes he's bitten me a few times...no I didn't stop...
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:06 PM   #24
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

most of the time i get a version of that comment, about how busy i must be because i have twin toddlers. i just say " all moms are busy" and leave it at that. it doesn't offend me, but i don't think im special or any more busy than any other mom, so i make sure and deflect any insinuation of that.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:11 PM   #25
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

It doesn't necessarily bother me but it's irritating to hear it so often when we're out. I really only get it when it's just me and the boys. The one that does bother me is when people see me with 2 boys already and say "so is this one a girl?". No, it's not, and I didn't want a girl, thankyouverymuch!
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:16 PM   #26
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

I think you're taking it as a personal insult, when it's not meant that way. Large families are not the norm these days. People talk, just to talk. Everywhere I go, people have to comment on my son's hair, and ask "Where did he get his red hair?", as they are looking at my hairt. It's SOOOOOO annoying, but it's par for the course. I have a redhead, and redhead's aren't the norm. People are intrigued and curious.
For you, it's the 567,876,590,123,546th time you've been asked that question...but for that individual, it's the first time they've asked you that question. Don't take it as an insult, unless it's painfully obvious the person is being insulting.
Answer the question with a smile, and say "Actually, no, my hands aren't full. I've been blessed with great kids."
As much as I HATE answering the questions about my son's hair, I answer them with a smile, even when people are rude.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:18 PM   #27
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

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Originally Posted by mama2logan&evan View Post
The one that does bother me is when people see me with 2 boys already and say "so is this one a girl?". No, it's not, and I didn't want a girl, thankyouverymuch!
Yes, I know what you mean! I had two girls and then was pregnant with a boy. People said to me, "You got your boy, you're done, right?" Uh, first of all, none of your beeswax! Secondly, I actually wanted 3 girls! Third, I'm done because I wanted three kids, not because I "finally got that boy." Eh, as it turned out, I wasn't so done and ended up having a fourth child.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:19 PM   #28
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

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Originally Posted by xmommy View Post
I kinda get offended when people say things like "oh, I could never BF after they have teeth" My DS is just over 12 m and has about 9 full teeth plus 3 or 4 cutting through right now...yes he's bitten me a few times...no I didn't stop...
I never get offended when people say that...I revel in my greatness to overcome those nasty little chompers I just tell people that BFing is too important to me to let a few teeth stand in my way.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:22 PM   #29
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

I always answer with "Yes, I do! Much better than being empty", smile and keep walking. I don't think most people mean any harm by it. I hear it ALL the time, too.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:24 PM   #30
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Re: "Boy you got your hands full" vent/?

This comment doesn't really bother me either. I've only recently gotten it since I'm pregnant w/ #3 and have a 4yo and a 2yo. Once they find out it's the third GIRL, I do get the 'are you going to try for a boy?'. Now, that does irritate me a little since it would mean I'm not happy with the girls....just think it's kinda rude.

ETA: just went back and noticed other people said the same thing. Sorry for the repeat
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