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Old 09-24-2008, 05:45 PM   #11
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

mama. Mine was a 36 weeker and I know without a doubt that I was lucky he had no breathing issues (bad jaundice and temp issues though), especially being a caucasian male. He was 7lbs 5oz, a great size, but I know of plenty of others who still have had immature lungs at 36 and 37 weeks. Every baby matures at a different rate, and some of us have shorter gestations than others, too.

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Old 09-24-2008, 06:10 PM   #12
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

i think its important to realize that this was a trauma for you. and to accept that. it must have been so hard....

you can beat yourself up all his life for not knowing, but the truth is, nothing is going to change that. the doctors are the ones who should have said, let's give you a steroid shot, just in case. they are the ones that should have said that. it was not your responsibility to research and all that to know what they should have been doing.

we live and learn and grow stronger- as women and as mothers, through mothering. you had a harder start than most of us do, and i imagine you are stronger now than you would have been. you are a better advocate for your children than you possibly would have been had you and he not gone through what you did.

so i guess what im saying is, yes, its ok to grieve and be angry. i think its healthy to address that, professionally even if you feel the need. and i also think it has likely made you a better parent for him and your others because of that rough start.
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:12 PM   #13
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

I had a healthy 35 weeker, but I did have the steroid shots. I do think of us as very very blessed. If you sit back and think about it though, just as many people have 38 weekers that are healthy, or not healthy, if you kwim? In any situation there are going to be lucky babies and unlucky babies for lack of a better word. I can't imagine going through what you did. One thing I've learned though is that we do truly go through bad things to be able to help others. My son was born with clubbed feet, which is the hardest thing we've ever had to face. Looking back (and being 6 months away from being done with the whole ordeal- he still sleeps in a brace) there could be so many worse things that we could have dealt with, and I've been able to help 3 other moms whose babies were born with clubbed feet as well. Does that make the pain I felt any better? No, not really. But it does bring some joy from the experiance as well. My son had to suffer, and we did as well, but we're able to ease the suffering of someone else with our help, or at least be a should to cry on through it.

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Old 09-25-2008, 12:41 AM   #14
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

Im so sorry that you & your son had to endure that.. it really doesnt seem fair. I guess Im one of those Mamas that strikes a bad chord for you.. I'm really sorry I do realize I was incredibly fortunate not once, but twice having both a 35 weeker, and then a 34 weeker who were comletely healthier and required nothing special (definately not the norm.. not sure why it is, it just seems my abbies mature quicker than most). But alas, it seems to be payback time, as Im sitting here on hospital bedrest (day 11 and counting) at 26 weeks, just praying he will hold out a bit longer. Altho I have a feeling this babe is going to endure a lengthy Nicu stay. It just varies so much from baby to baby, and situation to situation.. I really got that vibe during my nicu consult today.. you just never really know whats coming when it comes to a preemie babe, until babe is here.. again Im so sorry your son had such a struggle

ETA: I did have the steroid shots with DD (my 34 weeker), but not with DS (my 35 weeker). Im really sorry they never offered that to you

And yes, statistically baby girls do mature quicker than boys.. and I actually noticed it in my own kids.. DD was born 9 days sooner than her brother and was almost 1.5 lbs smaller, yet DS had sooo many more preemie characteristics than DD.
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Old 09-25-2008, 12:49 AM   #15
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

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Originally Posted by *Alabamamom* View Post
Oh.. anyone want to get blown away about how much my 35 weeker weighed????? 7 lbs 1 oz! I think that is really big for being so early..
My 35 weeker was 7 lbs even as well.. I make 'em big And yes.. 7 lb 35 weekers are certainly NOT the norm.. I got sooooo many comments in the hospital about his rather robust size for being a 35 weeker.
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Old 09-26-2008, 02:32 PM   #16
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

Amanda.. I pray your lo stays put at least another 10 weeks! No I wouldn't say you strike a chord with me, because I hate to know that anyone had to endure that kind of pain, kwim? I guess what I was trying to say was I wonder why my guy wasn't so lucky like other babies.. I know it's long in the past.. just sometimes when I watch him to day in his struggles to comprehend things and communicate and such, I start up with the whole mommy guilt thing and think of all the should have, could haves and then wonder if I had done this or that would things be different today... I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because had I been more careful and not just flop on the bed, maybe I wouldn't have bounced and ended up on the floor and ruptured my water. Maybe labor would have started regardless who knows since I had already been in preterm labor a few times before then. But yes my point in all my babbling is, I am happy for those that had great luck.. it breaks my heart to hear about it the other way around.. I will be keeping you and your lo in my thoughts and prayers!! 10 more weeks would be awesome!
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Old 09-26-2008, 04:14 PM   #17
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

My dd was born at 35 weeks. She was 5 pounds even and had no problems at birth. However now were dealing with severe food allergies, malnutrion and failure to thrive. Its hard having a baby with any sort of problems. Hugs to the OP!
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Old 09-26-2008, 04:26 PM   #18
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

My daughters were 33 and 34 weeks and they had mature lungs but had other issues. It is so incredibly painful to leave the hospital without your baby, regardless of lung maturity. With my third daughter(33 weeker) I remember walking out of the hospital and watching a new mom climb painfully into the back seat of the car while dad put the newborn in the bucket seat into the car and it was filled with balloons and flowers and presents and they looked so happy and "normal." And I was a new mom for the third time and walking out with my husband and the big sisters and NO ONE KNEW because I was leaving my tiny little daughter in her plastic box in the hospital. No flowers, no balloons, no presents, just my breast pump and a bag full of plastic containers waiting to be filled and labels to put on them. It was awful. I don't think the trauma ever leaves you. When I saw that, I just broke down crying. They must have thought I was nuts. But I couldnt' stop saying to my husband, "why? why me? why did it have to happen AGAIN?" My second daughter(34weeker) was septic and ended up with antibiotics and a lumbar puncture and an ekg and x-rays and all sorts of stuff. We got the call no parent should ever get. "Mrs. T___________, this is so-and-so at the nicu at _______ hospital. I think you should come see Sara because she's not looking good." I still have nightmares of that morning and I can tell you exactly what I was doing when my phone rang. I know you understand this and I know you understand my hurt and outrage when I tell you that someone told me that my 33weeker looked so healthy and strong and "4lbs isn't that bad for a preemie! what a great size! And 7 weeks early isn't too bad!"
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Old 09-26-2008, 04:36 PM   #19
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

Ive got 3 preemies.. A 29 weeker who did excellent.. A 27 weeker who is now 3.5 years old and STILL on a ventilator and a 26 weeker who has done pretty well... Ive learned not to take anything for granted. Sure, Im envious of those who have healthy babies and were able to leave the NICU behind.. One day we may be able to get this ICU out of our house, but until then its a part of our life... I may not like it but I have to accept it.. I cant change the past. I could cry about it but that wont do anything. I could cry about the present or the future but that wouldnt do anything either.. I just focus on the positive.. Why waste your time focusing on the negative.. Right now Im looking at my child sleeping, ventilator attached, feeding tube attached, pulseox just going about its business.. Id love to just throw this stuff out of the window but its one of those "necessary evils"... Its just something that has to be embraced.
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Old 09-26-2008, 07:22 PM   #20
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

I had the steroid shots because of preterm labor (shout out to my bedrest mommas) and they thought by 35 weeks she'd be fine--they let me go back to work and all of that stuff. I went into labor in week 36, and once they broke my water she flew out and it was too much for her to adjust to and she ended up in the NICU for 2.5 weeks with a little tear in her lungs, fluid in her lungs from that, some apnea issues, and learning to breastfeed. She's healthy as a horse now though, so I feel very blessed that she was able to pull through a rough start so well. There are always the what-ifs--what if they didn't tell me it was okay a week before so I wouldn't have encouraged my prodromal labor and would have taken it easier, what if I didn't let them break my water so she would have been born slower (it was 7cm to her on my chest in under 20 minutes), etc.But what happened, happened, and after a lot of regret I'm finally moving past it and enjoying her as she is now.
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