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Old 09-30-2008, 10:18 PM   #1
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How old was your LO.....

How old was your lo when you were away from them for the first time? Mine is about 6 weeks old and everytime I see my mother-in-law she's like "when can I have the baby?". I'm not ready to give her up yet and I don't know if that's bc I'm a control freak or the fact that my mother-in-law is kind of a ding dong. No seriously, she's one of those that thinks it's ok to let her 80lbs pit bull sniff my 1 month olds face! So I need some advice....

Ok, so now lo is 8 weeks old. Me and my dh just got into a fight this morning bc today it is our anniversary and he wanted to go out to dinner tomorrow and have his mom watch her. I told him a few days ago I still wasn't comfortable and he said that was fine. WELL he changed his mind this morning and he called me a "control freak" and said "you just need to let her go!". So I called his mom to try to talk him down and then she started agreeing with him! Saying "you are just hurting yourself, not her". Grrr I'm so upset! Please mamas tell me, am I just a crazy control freak! Because I feel like one now. I mean, I'm just not ready yet!


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Last edited by SillyEllie; 10-18-2008 at 12:27 PM.
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Old 09-30-2008, 10:24 PM   #2
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Re: How old was your LO.....

I left my LO at home with DH for the first time when he was about 2.5-3 months old, and I was gone about an hour.
"One mustn't lose sight of the hard core, which is, do this, do that, love your friends and like your neighbors, be just, be extravagantly generous, be honest, be tolerant, have courage, have compassion, use your wits and your imagination, understand the world you live in and be on terms with it, don't dramatize and dream and escape."
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Old 09-30-2008, 10:30 PM   #3
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Re: How old was your LO.....

My first baby, I left alone for a couple hours with ex-DH while I got a haircut.
The next two babies I can't ever remember leaving alone lol.. and my most recent baby was 5 months old when I left him with a sitter because I had to take a proctored exam for my online University class and ex-DH was deployed.

But really- if you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. But if you want to make a compromise- maybe just a half hour while you run to the store, or maybe she could watch the baby at your house while you nap or do chores... so like a trial run to see how she does?
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Old 09-30-2008, 10:39 PM   #4
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Re: How old was your LO.....

Jazmyne was about 9 months old when I left her for the first time. I had to back to work when DH was out of work for ACL surgery.

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Old 09-30-2008, 10:44 PM   #5
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Re: How old was your LO.....

with dh - about 3 months old with anyone else- not until almost 2 years old. Don't feel pushed into it- i would never let mil have my baby that young!
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Old 09-30-2008, 10:48 PM   #6
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Re: How old was your LO.....

With DH, she was a few months old, but she is 14 months and I left her with a sitter for the first time a few weeks ago. The sitter is a trusted, dear friend who also APs.

Don't feel pressued to leave her--there is NO need to seperate mothers and babies. Babies have an INTENSE need for mama in those first years. You mom or MIL can have the baby over for a sleepever or whatever--it's just that you'll be with your DC for a while!
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Old 09-30-2008, 10:53 PM   #7
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Re: How old was your LO.....

Aside from running to the grocery store while we were spending the weekend with my mom (and that would have been 20 minutes, max), I didn't leave DD till she was 6 months and I ended up in the hospital with a broken back. I wasn't ready then, and it was a tough situation. I still don't like to leave her, and haven't had a single person other than my mother babysit.
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Old 09-30-2008, 11:00 PM   #8
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Re: How old was your LO.....

My oldest was 3 months, me and DH went to a marriage seminar and my mom watched the baby. I would not have felt comfortable leaving him with the IL's!

My 2nd, I can't even remember, so she was probably pretty old.

My 3rd was 3 months, and only because I had to have surgery. After that I didn't leave him again till he was 7 or 8 months.

My youngest was about 6 months, a friend babysat her.

My in-laws have rarely watched my children, especially as infants. I've just never been comfortable with it.
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Old 09-30-2008, 11:00 PM   #9
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Re: How old was your LO.....

I have been leaving DS w/ DH for an hour or so at a time since he was about 4 weeks, but that's it. My mom is begging me to leave him with her, but I won't do it. She has beef with 90% of what I do w/ DS, and I'm sure I would come home to find her letting DS 'taste' her Dr Pepper on a pacifier (and DS has never had a pacifier) or something else I could wring her neck for! Stick to your guns, if you're not comfortable - don't do it!
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Old 09-30-2008, 11:02 PM   #10
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Re: How old was your LO.....

Hell to the no.

Let's see. I left my baby alone with my husband for about 2 or 3 hours when he was about 3 months old.

I don't leave my baby with anyone (*ahem* like MY MIL) who insists she needs to see him alone to be fulfilled in the time she spends with him. That, to me, says, "I'm going to do something I already know you don't want me to do with YOUR child." With my MIL, it means using candy to try to get my kid to say HER name before "mama" or "dada". Or tell him how she's the only one who really loves him and his mommy and daddy aren't good enough, blahblahblah. Whatever she does. Not with my kid.

And my MIL doesn't have a pit bull.

Now, I'm sorry...people can tell me all they want about how good a doggy THEIR pit bull is, that they're not a dangerous breed, that more children die from bathtubs than from pit bulls, whatever - I'm not willing to gamble my child's life on their dog's temperament. Especially if the owner is a ding dong!

Edit to add: I forgot. We did leave bay-bay with MY mom and dad for about 4 hours while we went to dinner and a movie. My parents don't feel a need to exert their child-rearing will over ours, however. Bay-bay was about 4 months for that.

Last edited by Avarah; 09-30-2008 at 11:03 PM.
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