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Old 11-03-2006, 11:34 AM   #41
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why do you insist on grating my cheese...my kids already do that
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

yes, her mom is looking for a sears book lol.

i'm so glad i have this board to come too....i was so riled up i was shaking at the thought of what this book is about lol. thanks so much mama's!!!


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Old 11-03-2006, 03:20 PM   #42
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

I have a very good gf who has just left her 9 mo old daughter (who is SMALL and really probably needs the overnight nursing still) in her crib for weeks on end to cry after reading this book. She moved the crib into another room so she could shut the door and not have to listen to the screaming.
I'd already reccomended "The No Cry Sleep Solution" which she bought but didn't read. Another friend gave her Babywise, and it was like she was just waiting for an excuse to do it...it makes me sick to think of her poor little girl wailing alone for hours at a time (she cried for 4-5 hours for about two weeks every night, then gave up).
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Old 11-03-2006, 08:02 PM   #43
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

I have not read babywise, but did read some of Toddler Wise, which is just as bad IMO (but at least its not newborns) The things they have in there MAY work for some children, but it is definately NOT how I will treat my children. It is one thing to have a schedule, My DD1 has always been on a schedule and enjoys it, but if one day she isn't tired at bedtime, we wait an hour, KWIM? If she didn't eat a very good lunch, I give her a snack to tide her over. She likes knowing what will happen next. I dont look at the clock as much as I just watch her. When she's getting bored while playing, I get a different toy/run fix lunch, etc. to get ready for the next part of the day. With my newborn, she wakes up, nurses, gets changed, etc. in approx same order every time. At night, she nurses, gets changed to jammies and swaddled, nurses from the other side, and then sleeps 5-6 hours. Sorry for rambling. I have had a lot of people tell me I'm doing the wrong thing or I'm making too big of a deal about something, but I just go with what I FEEL is right. When I read parenting books, it is to add too what I already do, not change it completely. If I dont like a certain idea, I dont do it. I'm sure your friend will figure it out. My MIL keeps trying to keep niece on a certain schedule, but when she's hungry, I feed her, when she's tired I rock her, etc.

I'm done now
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Old 11-06-2006, 07:49 AM   #44
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

Sounds like a reiteration of the old Holt Method. For those who don't know, Emmett Holt was a doctor in the US in the late 1800s. He is sometimes considered to be the "Father of Pediatrics". He wrote a book on "The Care and Feeding of Children" which was supposed to be used to train nurses in hospitals (who are taking care of 30+ babies). It was very schedule oriented (wake at 6am, feed at 7am, change at 8am, sleep at 9am, etc). Some people in the upper class got a hold of the book and thought, "Well, if this is how the medical profession cares for babies, so should we." And science and scientific innovation was "the thing" at the time. After that, the book became a HUGE best-seller (keep in mind, this was supposed to be a training manual for nurses, not moms!). Everyone wanted to raise their child according to "The Holt Method". Many people came later (like Spock in 1946). Here's an interesting book on trends in child-rearing thoughout the past 100+ years: "Raising America: Experts, Parents, and a Century of Advice About Children" by Ann Hulbert.

Anyway, I've seen new parents flip out when I tell them that their babies will NOT sleep through the night in the first month (one of my friends (nurse) told me about a mom who brought her baby to the ER at 48hrs of life and was demanding to know why her newborn wasn't sleeping a full 8hrs at night because "My MIL said that all her kids did"). Some kids will suck down a ton by 6-8wks (BF or FF) and sleep a full 6-8hrs, but they are rare. I'd never recommend ANY book that recommends such strict scheduling, as all kids are different. I think your friend is in for quite the shock. But just be supportive and offer a kind shoulder.
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Old 11-07-2006, 11:35 PM   #45
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

wow, i had no idea that some people are so ignorant about nb's!!!!! i guess that makes me ignorant about new parents though lol. of course i didn't realize until this year how unaccepted nursing babies is lol....and i'm nursing my 3rd child . i guess i've been under a rock!!!!
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Old 11-08-2006, 12:02 AM   #46
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

I just wanted to say thank you for your friend and her baby. You are such a good friend to care so deeply and try to help. I really hope you and her mom got through to her. I also have that book and read it while I was preg. I finished it thinking thats how I will NOT raise my baby, and went on to many of Dr Sears books (to which I agree with strongly) I actually dislike that book so much that I was taking a bunch of books to the Good will and I wouldn't take that one because I don't want any other mamas out there to have it .....I guess I should just throw it away....
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Old 11-08-2006, 06:33 AM   #47
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

I just wanted to say I can understand how frustrating that is to hear. My SIL and brother said that their dr. (of all people) told them to let the baby scream through the night and they will be sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old then. When I had my dd my brother told me that. There was NO WAY on God's green earth I was going to do that. To me that did come across as child abuse. They are both healthy boys, but I can't imagine just letting my baby scream. I almost wanted to ask if she was really a mother. Because I think true motherly love you would not let your infant going screaming like that when they are just newborns. Course this person also if she doesn't get her sleep watch out. So probably just wanted sleep for herself. I mean it is one thing if they have collic, but if you know it is a hunger cry. As a mother you know what cries mean what. I just don't get some people.
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Old 11-08-2006, 01:25 PM   #48
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

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Originally Posted by elijahsmama View Post
I just wanted to say thank you for your friend and her baby. You are such a good friend to care so deeply and try to help. I really hope you and her mom got through to her. I also have that book and read it while I was preg. I finished it thinking thats how I will NOT raise my baby, and went on to many of Dr Sears books (to which I agree with strongly) I actually dislike that book so much that I was taking a bunch of books to the Good will and I wouldn't take that one because I don't want any other mamas out there to have it .....I guess I should just throw it away....


thankyou for saying that. i was starting to feel like a crap friend b/c i've ranted about her a few times....i love her to death she just frustrates me to no end sometimes. i feel that she's not really getting what this parenting thing is all about. she just hasn't yet figured out putting her new son before herself, i hope she figures it out soon though. hopefully this little guy will soon get more vocal about his needs b/c he hasn't quite yet. soon soon soon. i really am not a crappy friend....i just love hard
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Old 11-08-2006, 02:43 PM   #49
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

That is such an awful book. Your a great friend to try and show her a better way. Glad you have some help with her mom also and hopefully some nurturing will creep in as she learns to really love her baby.
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Old 11-08-2006, 03:00 PM   #50
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

I'm just catching up on this post but t reminds me of something that happened to me this last weekend.

I was at church and there was a new mother out in the hall with her baby. This is her third child and he's about 6 weeks old. He was kinda fussy and sucking on his pacifier for dear life and the mom said "He thinks he's so hungry but it hasn't been 4 hours yet." I was so taken aback that I didn't even respond to her, I just kinda walked away. I can't imagine not feeding a 6 week old whenever he is hungry
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