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Old 11-09-2006, 10:20 AM   #51
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

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Originally Posted by tessa1002 View Post
Another babywise link

The book is about a lot more that just teaching them to sleep through the night. Its pretty much about setting a rigid schedule for your baby. Like, if the baby doesn't want to eat at your scheduled time, they aren't supposed to eat until the next one. Its full of stuff like that.

Ok, I have to defend mother's who HAVE used this method and at least TRY and give you FACTS rather than you believe things that are UNTRUE and are just things that are being MADE UP about this.

First off, I have done babywise with my son, and it is WONDERFUL. If you think it is about a rigid schedule or some crazy forcing sleep thing, it is NOT. If you HAVE NOT READ the book, please don't make comments about it until you have read it. Honestly. I am not saying this to make an arguement or anything like that. I just want to set the record straight for some of you who may not ACTUALLY know what babywise is about.

There is NOTHING in the book stating rigid scheduling, if you read the book you would know that Ezzo actually states that RS was done way back, and it was wrong, and those mother & babies paid for that. This is different. It's about ROUTINE not schedules. It's about predicting and knowing what to expect from your child. To know that when he is not crying out of hunger but for comfort, or out of sleepiness, or whatever it is. I know exactly what my baby's needs are, I don't respond to every cry with food. My son DOES sleep through the night since 11 weeks. He was NEVER forced to sleep either and was NEVER denied food at anytime.

THe book is set up to help you learn a routine for your baby, to help regulate their eating and sleeping patterns. Which creates healthy eating habits, like eating a full meal at each nursing not taking little 2-3 minutes "snacks" all day long. And teaching him how to sleep on his own without being nursed or rocked or put to sleep. He puts him self to sleep when he is "tired".

The book states that during your routine if there is a time when baby is hungry, FEED HIM, if something breaks up your routine, FEED HIM and pick up the routine later once you get back on track it's no big deal. It clearly states DO NOT deny your baby when he is hungry at anytime! I will quote the book if you want me to. jlmk.

I can't begin to explain the entire concept here in this one post, it's something you have to believe in, and you HAVE TO READ THE BOOK to understand. All the stuff you here out there are out right lies and rumours made up by people who have NEVER read the book, and have never put it into action nor seen it in action.

My son is the HAPPIEST baby ever...everyone at church flocks to him, he's the only baby who is happy all day and hardly fusses for anything unless he's hungry or tired, and I always know when he's going to be hungry or tired or when he's fussing I know if it's something else. I would NEVER deny my child, of ANYTHING. And it saddens me that you all would blaketly say that every mother/father that uses this book is somehow unloving or abusive or ignorant or anything of the like.

I love my son more than anything in the world, I only want the best of everything for him. And I know that, this book worked for us, and my son is happy and healthy, and is the most wonderful baby. It really hurts me when people make these comments becuse you are saying these things to me, even if you are saying it indirectly. I could say the same things about moms who answer every cry of their babies.....with food, and who have babies that are 3 times my son's weight because they eat ALL DAY LONG? So is OVER FEEDING your child not as bad or worse than someone who underfeeds their child? I don't underfeed my child, but that is what it sounds like. I am just saying this so that you all can understand where I am coming from. It hurts for someone to try and say you are a bad parent becuase you choose to care for your child differently than someone else.

My son NEVER EVER is neglected and BECAUSE of using the babywise book, my son is a happy, well adjusted, healthy baby. Please don't make judgements on something just based on what you hear from someone who has never done it. I probably haven't made a whole lot of sense here, but I hope you could get something out of it.


Honestly though, if you have questions about babywise, and just want to understand it...let me know I would be glad to explain it more or answer your questions. Just don't judge me or attack me if you don't agree with the methods.

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Old 11-09-2006, 12:27 PM   #52
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

I am so tired of people asking me if my 3 month old ds is sleeping through the night......ugh! No, and I am quite content that he is not! I have him right in the bed with me, and he nurses when he wants to and for as long as he wants to! This is actually one of the first times today he is not attached to my boob! He is not on a schedule, and he is doing just fine (Did I mention that I also have a 16 month old dd, and she was the same way.....if it was sooo horrible, do you think I'd have another baby right now?) Thanks for your rant, I just had a really bad morning, defending my stance on CIO, and the whole schedule garbage, if your kid is hungry, fee him! When You are hungry, do you say, oh it hasn't been 4 hours yet??? NOPE, if you are hungry or thirsty you take care of your need, same with my baby!
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Old 11-09-2006, 12:33 PM   #53
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

This is awful. My MIL runs a home daycare and she had a mom of a premie who was INSISTING that he only needed to be fed every 4 hours. NOT a good idea. My MIL who has done daycare was so against it. They are no longer in her care...

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I read the links and I still think it's crazy....But the crazier thing is I used to work at a daycare ( main stream daycare) and we were instructed to to feed every 4 hours and not a second less...It was so hard for me and sometimes when I was in there with the infants and theyd be crying & crying....I would give them a couple of ounces of their bottle and they always always stop crying and relax. One mom even found out I was doing that because she would only bring enough milk for x amount of hours....and she was worried that her ds was getting fat..OMG that child was not even that chunky! SO she had her dr. write a note to the daycare...and it read (i will never forget) that her child only needs to be fed every 4 hours and that it is NOT a nessecity to feed him more than that...and it went on to say that we as doctors have a little bit more information than you as daycare providers in knowing that when a baby cries, it usually just wants to be picked up!!

I was soo irritated...cuz that mom felt vindicated but she didnt have to stay there all day long with a screaming crying hungry baby!! Needless tio say I didnt sneak him anymore formula cuz obviously she was soooo against it and it WAS her child...but I felt soo bad for him! I never do that to my son, hes always gettin feed and I like em' a lil chubby!!
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Old 11-09-2006, 12:35 PM   #54
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

hmmm - having read most of the book - I would say your are the exception to the rule.

I would like those parts of the book quoted, because I personally cannot recall them.

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Ok, I have to defend mother's who HAVE used this method and at least TRY and give you FACTS rather than you believe things that are UNTRUE and are just things that are being MADE UP about this.

First off, I have done babywise with my son, and it is WONDERFUL. If you think it is about a rigid schedule or some crazy forcing sleep thing, it is NOT. If you HAVE NOT READ the book, please don't make comments about it until you have read it. Honestly. I am not saying this to make an arguement or anything like that. I just want to set the record straight for some of you who may not ACTUALLY know what babywise is about.

There is NOTHING in the book stating rigid scheduling, if you read the book you would know that Ezzo actually states that RS was done way back, and it was wrong, and those mother & babies paid for that. This is different. It's about ROUTINE not schedules. It's about predicting and knowing what to expect from your child. To know that when he is not crying out of hunger but for comfort, or out of sleepiness, or whatever it is. I know exactly what my baby's needs are, I don't respond to every cry with food. My son DOES sleep through the night since 11 weeks. He was NEVER forced to sleep either and was NEVER denied food at anytime.

THe book is set up to help you learn a routine for your baby, to help regulate their eating and sleeping patterns. Which creates healthy eating habits, like eating a full meal at each nursing not taking little 2-3 minutes "snacks" all day long. And teaching him how to sleep on his own without being nursed or rocked or put to sleep. He puts him self to sleep when he is "tired".

The book states that during your routine if there is a time when baby is hungry, FEED HIM, if something breaks up your routine, FEED HIM and pick up the routine later once you get back on track it's no big deal. It clearly states DO NOT deny your baby when he is hungry at anytime! I will quote the book if you want me to. jlmk.

I can't begin to explain the entire concept here in this one post, it's something you have to believe in, and you HAVE TO READ THE BOOK to understand. All the stuff you here out there are out right lies and rumours made up by people who have NEVER read the book, and have never put it into action nor seen it in action.

My son is the HAPPIEST baby ever...everyone at church flocks to him, he's the only baby who is happy all day and hardly fusses for anything unless he's hungry or tired, and I always know when he's going to be hungry or tired or when he's fussing I know if it's something else. I would NEVER deny my child, of ANYTHING. And it saddens me that you all would blaketly say that every mother/father that uses this book is somehow unloving or abusive or ignorant or anything of the like.

I love my son more than anything in the world, I only want the best of everything for him. And I know that, this book worked for us, and my son is happy and healthy, and is the most wonderful baby. It really hurts me when people make these comments becuse you are saying these things to me, even if you are saying it indirectly. I could say the same things about moms who answer every cry of their babies.....with food, and who have babies that are 3 times my son's weight because they eat ALL DAY LONG? So is OVER FEEDING your child not as bad or worse than someone who underfeeds their child? I don't underfeed my child, but that is what it sounds like. I am just saying this so that you all can understand where I am coming from. It hurts for someone to try and say you are a bad parent becuase you choose to care for your child differently than someone else.

My son NEVER EVER is neglected and BECAUSE of using the babywise book, my son is a happy, well adjusted, healthy baby. Please don't make judgements on something just based on what you hear from someone who has never done it. I probably haven't made a whole lot of sense here, but I hope you could get something out of it.


Honestly though, if you have questions about babywise, and just want to understand it...let me know I would be glad to explain it more or answer your questions. Just don't judge me or attack me if you don't agree with the methods.
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Old 11-09-2006, 12:45 PM   #55
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

There is NOTHING in the book stating rigid scheduling, if you read the book you would know that Ezzo actually states that RS was done way back, and it was wrong, and those mother & babies paid for that. This is different. It's about ROUTINE not schedules. It's about predicting and knowing what to expect from your child. To know that when he is not crying out of hunger but for comfort, or out of sleepiness, or whatever it is. I know exactly what my baby's needs are, I don't respond to every cry with food. My son DOES sleep through the night since 11 weeks. He was NEVER forced to sleep either and was NEVER denied food at anytime.

THe book is set up to help you learn a routine for your baby, to help regulate their eating and sleeping patterns. Which creates healthy eating habits, like eating a full meal at each nursing not taking little 2-3 minutes "snacks" all day long. And teaching him how to sleep on his own without being nursed or rocked or put to sleep. He puts him self to sleep when he is "tired".

The book states that during your routine if there is a time when baby is hungry, FEED HIM, if something breaks up your routine, FEED HIM and pick up the routine later once you get back on track it's no big deal. It clearly states DO NOT deny your baby when he is hungry at anytime! I will quote the book if you want me to. jlmk.

I can't begin to explain the entire concept here in this one post, it's something you have to believe in, and you HAVE TO READ THE BOOK to understand. All the stuff you here out there are out right lies and rumours made up by people who have NEVER read the book, and have never put it into action nor seen it in action.

I'm glad there is someone else out there who reads books and decides for themselves whether they agree with the author or not. Babywise is NOT propaganda from some Christian cult, as this thread's author stated, and it is NOT about depriving your baby of anything. There are people on this board who are Christians and/or who like to follow a routine with their kids, and I personally was offended by the tone of many of your remarks-- just as you probably would have been if I went on some rampage against Dr. Sears.

There is room in this world for loving parents who are stricltly ap, or those who prefer a little more of a routine. I'm just sorry that many of the people who responded to this thread don't think so.
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Old 11-09-2006, 07:41 PM   #56
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

to *yellowcampcat* ummmmm i found that info on ezzo on a website, it was one of the links provided at the begining, and NOT by me.....again, i would like any other mom's who don't agree w/me to pm me personally instead of starting a debate, if you don't like my tone please take it up with me personally. sorry, but ezzo is NOT a dr, and IS a director of a christian group with some very cultISH behaviors. click the links and read for yourself, which is what you obviously think i should do, so how about do the same. i think that's a fair request. after reading about the author himself i have no interest in ever owning a single book from him. i'm not against religion at all, and i do agree to some scheduleing. i DO NOT agree to trying to put a NEWBORN on a schedule, that is insane. but that's my opinion. if this worked for you more power to you, i think it's wrong.

i'm glad you have happy healthy babies. my son is a big chunk of a baby at 3 months old, does that mean i have overfed him? absolutely not. my first two were very skinny babies, and i fed them on demand as well.....so to think that chunky babies are overfed babies is nuts. it's a ridiculous statement. i have 3 very happy, very healthy children....two of which both had a schedule they created on their own when they were younger. just as brighton now has a routine he set for himself. but as children grow and have growth spurts their schedules may need to change some, and i allow for that to happen.

this thread is not against schedules at all.....i'm sorry some have read it that way. but to everyone who is believing i should read the book....why don't YOU read the links.

i know i rambled and perhaps made no sense and i apologize for that. again IF you have a problem w/me or what i have ranted about please take it up with ME PERSONALLY THROUGH PM instead of taking it public.

oh and also...i've never read dr. sears either so i wouldn't give a crap if you ranted about him......
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:32 PM   #57
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

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There is NOTHING in the book stating rigid scheduling, if you read the book you would know that Ezzo actually states that RS was done way back, and it was wrong, and those mother & babies paid for that. This is different. It's about ROUTINE not schedules. It's about predicting and knowing what to expect from your child. To know that when he is not crying out of hunger but for comfort, or out of sleepiness, or whatever it is. I know exactly what my baby's needs are, I don't respond to every cry with food. My son DOES sleep through the night since 11 weeks. He was NEVER forced to sleep either and was NEVER denied food at anytime.

THe book is set up to help you learn a routine for your baby, to help regulate their eating and sleeping patterns. Which creates healthy eating habits, like eating a full meal at each nursing not taking little 2-3 minutes "snacks" all day long. And teaching him how to sleep on his own without being nursed or rocked or put to sleep. He puts him self to sleep when he is "tired".

The book states that during your routine if there is a time when baby is hungry, FEED HIM, if something breaks up your routine, FEED HIM and pick up the routine later once you get back on track it's no big deal. It clearly states DO NOT deny your baby when he is hungry at anytime! I will quote the book if you want me to. jlmk.

I can't begin to explain the entire concept here in this one post, it's something you have to believe in, and you HAVE TO READ THE BOOK to understand. All the stuff you here out there are out right lies and rumours made up by people who have NEVER read the book, and have never put it into action nor seen it in action.

I'm glad there is someone else out there who reads books and decides for themselves whether they agree with the author or not. Babywise is NOT propaganda from some Christian cult, as this thread's author stated, and it is NOT about depriving your baby of anything. There are people on this board who are Christians and/or who like to follow a routine with their kids, and I personally was offended by the tone of many of your remarks-- just as you probably would have been if I went on some rampage against Dr. Sears.

There is room in this world for loving parents who are stricltly ap, or those who prefer a little more of a routine. I'm just sorry that many of the people who responded to this thread don't think so.
I agree w/ everything here. BW works for a LOT of people. And it never says to not feed your baby when they are hungry.

Everytime I get into a debate about Ezzo/BabyWise it's clear that most of the people have never even read the book.
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Old 11-10-2006, 08:00 AM   #58
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

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I have a very good gf who has just left her 9 mo old daughter (who is SMALL and really probably needs the overnight nursing still) in her crib for weeks on end to cry after reading this book. She moved the crib into another room so she could shut the door and not have to listen to the screaming.
I'd already reccomended "The No Cry Sleep Solution" which she bought but didn't read. Another friend gave her Babywise, and it was like she was just waiting for an excuse to do it...it makes me sick to think of her poor little girl wailing alone for hours at a time (she cried for 4-5 hours for about two weeks every night, then gave up).
OK, we'd all agree that letting a 9 DAY old baby to "CIO" through the night is child abuse, pure and simple. With a 9 WEEk old, some can sleep through, but I doubt anyone would say parents should pressure. But a 9 MONTH old, no matter how small -- IMO, that's a question of parenting style, unless the child has a medical problem. Was it really 4-5 hours for 2 whole weeks?

I haven't read the book, but after reading this thread, I'd watch the friend after reading the Sears book, too. Someone who is not reading carefully can make all kinds of poor decisions in all kinds of directions, no matter what their source.

My personal take on the issue: I have 4 kids at home and they all need me; I cannot function with my special needs one if I'm too sleep deprived, so when my little one was waking 4 times a night, I worked with him slowly, gently, patiently, over time to give up some of those feedings, and now he's starting to sleep through. Yes, there was some crying, but never more than 10-15 mins. I hope that others reading this thread and similar ones will not feel like they are evil or bad parents if they don't agree with everything that's said. Children, even babies, do not always "know" what's best for them, whether it be a tiny one who would rather nip and nap than eat and sleep for longer blocks of time, or an older one who would rather eat junk food and not have good meals.
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Old 11-10-2006, 08:42 AM   #59
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

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OK, we'd all agree that letting a 9 DAY old baby to "CIO" through the night is child abuse, pure and simple. With a 9 WEEk old, some can sleep through, but I doubt anyone would say parents should pressure. But a 9 MONTH old, no matter how small -- IMO, that's a question of parenting style, unless the child has a medical problem. Was it really 4-5 hours for 2 whole weeks?

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I haven't read the book, but after reading this thread, I'd watch the friend after reading the Sears book, too. Someone who is not reading carefully can make all kinds of poor decisions in all kinds of directions, no matter what their source.
My personal take on the issue: I have 4 kids at home and they all need me; I cannot function with my special needs one if I'm too sleep deprived, so when my little one was waking 4 times a night, I worked with him slowly, gently, patiently, over time to give up some of those feedings, and now he's starting to sleep through. Yes, there was some crying, but never more than 10-15 mins. I hope that others reading this thread and similar ones will not feel like they are evil or bad parents if they don't agree with everything that's said. Children, even babies, do not always "know" what's best for them, whether it be a tiny one who would rather nip and nap than eat and sleep for longer blocks of time, or an older one who would rather eat junk food and not have good meals.
I think you hit the nail on the head here.....when people see something that someone is doing say based on a book or some philosophy etc...if it isn't working right, they ASSUME it's a flawed philosophy, rather than think that possibly the person is NOT carrying it out properly, and took the book out of context or their child has some other need that is not being met. It boils down to parenting. I used the babywise book as a GUIDE! not a RULE, I did not let the book TELL ME how to raise my child, and nor did I try and froce my child to fit everything the book said he should be doing etc... All children will be different even if EVERY parent in the world used this style of parenting, it would turn out different in each and every situation. THat is why you see some that it works for and some that it doesn't. That doesn't automatically mean the philosophy is flawed. I did the things that I needed to do to make the philosophy which I very much believe in, work out for my family without putting my child under any stress or pain or whatever.

to the poster who started the thread, first I want to appologize to you. I did not want it to sound as if I was saying if you have a chunky baby it's becuase you over feed him. I was just trying to give you perspective on how your comments could feel to other's. Not that I really felt that way. It was just the only thing I could use to help you relate. (I have no idea what your children look like.) And the reason I don't want to pm someone, is that if you want to start a thread, then you should be able to speak openly about it. I don't like having to hide my thoughts and feelings behind closed doors. I am not debating just letting other's know the other side of the story. That's all. No hard feelings here at all. I think so far this has been a healthy discussion.

TO the girl who wanted me to quote the book, as soon as I find my book I will.


JUST A LITTLE insight on how this worked for us: on sleeping through the night. Babies have sleep cycles every 45 minutes. You should know by now the whole REM and deep sleep thing. We do it too. But as adults we have already LEARNED how to keep ourselves asleep during our sleep cycles. Babies have to "learn" this as well. Yes in the beginning stages of growth they NEED frequent feedings even during the night. However as they grow their bodies need SLEEP as much as they need food. But they learn to balance eating more during the day and sleeping more at night. My son did just that because of this philosophy. I would feed him every 3 hours actually I moved it to every 2.5 hours which worked best for us. But each week during the night because he had learned to put himself to sleep on his own. When he would go to bed, during the night gradually he would stop waking for certain feedings. Each week or weeks he would sleep through a feeding and that told me that he no longer needed that. So by 11 wks, I no longer was feeding my child in the night, he ate at 7:00 went to bed at 9:00 and I did a dreamfeed at 10:00and that was it till 7:00am. eventually he dropped that on his own as well. This was done with NO CRYING, no hunger, no forcing or anything. He did this all on his own, from the methods used in this book. It's as simple as that. Now my son takes regular naps during the day, "ON HIS OWN" I don't FORCE him to sleep, he tells ME when he's tired becuase he's cranky. I lay him down and he's out. He goes to bed at night and wakes up in the morning happy and ready to start his day. Now how is that a BAD THING????? And all the other BW mommies I know have the exact same story. There will always be ones who don't follow the book right or have some other need their child is not having met which will make the book look bad, but wether you agree with it or not. IT DOES WORK! And I PROMISE you, my son has never ever suffered or been neglected.

I am just very passionate about this and I hope that I have enlightened some of you. Just rememeber we ALL have opinions, that's wonderful. But it doesn't mean something is wrong just because you don't "like" it. I don't "LIKE" the idea of AP. But that in no way means I am going to say that you AP moms are bad moms or that AP is dangerous, etc. I am sure just like BW, some AP moms take it to the extreme or out of context. Just remember that.
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Old 11-10-2006, 08:43 AM   #60
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Re: RANT! friend gonna follow some book about making baby sleep through night.....

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Originally Posted by aschrimp View Post
I have a very good gf who has just left her 9 mo old daughter (who is SMALL and really probably needs the overnight nursing still) in her crib for weeks on end to cry after reading this book. She moved the crib into another room so she could shut the door and not have to listen to the screaming.
I'd already reccomended "The No Cry Sleep Solution" which she bought but didn't read. Another friend gave her Babywise, and it was like she was just waiting for an excuse to do it...it makes me sick to think of her poor little girl wailing alone for hours at a time (she cried for 4-5 hours for about two weeks every night, then gave up).

That is SOOOO sad! It literally made my stomach queasy just reading that.
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