Diaper Swappers

LilyGrace · 10-23-2008, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by megan1979

This is exactly how I handle tempertantrums as well. I think rocking and holding, IMO, just belittles them. If I'm angry about something and instead of listening someone tried to 'calm' me...I'd bite there head off! I think they learn more about self when they calm themselves down and the get rewarded (cuddled) for that, not for the tantrum itself.

How does offering comfort belittle a child?

It is very possible to be empathetic and care about how a child feels, leading them to calm down. Just knowing someone cares about your feelings makes a HUGE difference in how we react.

I don't get how that is belittling. It doesn't seem disparaging at all.

And love isn't a reward. Why should it be?

Beaker · 10-23-2008, 10:12 AM

I recommend the book "happiest baby on the block" it really helped us!

Bot Girl · 10-24-2008, 12:16 PM

I personally wouldn't put him in his crib - I wouldn't want him to associate bad feeling with his place of rest.

We have a time out rug in our home where DD can pitch her fit, then come talk to me when she's ready. I think kids just need some time to process things, and can't control their emotions yet.

luvsviola · 10-24-2008, 02:17 PM

(((HUGS))) DD is the same way right now. I just keep telling myself it is a phase.

I let her pitch her fit, and just walk away. It isn't fun when no one is watching.

clechatelier · 10-25-2008, 03:56 PM

I'm not an experienced momma to offer advice, but DD (15 months) has terrible tempers too. Sometimes they start when I'm carrying her- she'll arch her back and I about drop her! At times she'll hit me in the face too. DH and I haven't quite decided what direction we're going to take with her discipline-wise, so I usually just let her wind down on her own without making a big fuss. She's never really hurt herself in the process. I'm 7 months preggo and it can be SUCH a strain, so I just leave the room for a minute to calm down when I'm really frazzled. Luckily these only happen when she's very frustrated from being hungry, tired, or needing a change.

ttachuk · 10-25-2008, 09:51 PM

We have massive tantrums here also- from both my 3.5 year old and my 18 month old. I expect my 3.5 year old to use her words rather than hitting and screaming, and we use time-outs (cool-downs) and removal of privilages for her.

For DS it is a totally different story- he doesn't have the words to express himself so we usually let him have his tantrum. I try to give him words. For example I will say "Owen is angry...Owen wants a cookie but Mommy says no". He seems to realize that I understand him and he calms down- sometimes. Otherwise I just ignore it and then comfort him when the storm passes.

10-23-2008, 10:12 AM	#12
Beaker Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: MO Posts: 2,220 Ratings: 35 Feedback: 100%	Re: temper temper temper I recommend the book "happiest baby on the block" it really helped us!

10-24-2008, 12:16 PM	#13
Bot Girl Registered Users Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,100 Ratings: 20 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: temper temper temper I personally wouldn't put him in his crib - I wouldn't want him to associate bad feeling with his place of rest. We have a time out rug in our home where DD can pitch her fit, then come talk to me when she's ready. I think kids just need some time to process things, and can't control their emotions yet.

10-24-2008, 02:17 PM	#14
luvsviola Registered Users Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Central Indiana Posts: 15,189 Ratings: 115 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: temper temper temper (((HUGS))) DD is the same way right now. I just keep telling myself it is a phase. I let her pitch her fit, and just walk away. It isn't fun when no one is watching. __________________ Kristen Mommy to Abigail ~1/24/07 and Kendall~3/17/2011 and FINALLY adoptive mama to LEDGER~4/4/09!!!--G-J tube, asthma, oral aversion, reflux, SPD, drug exposure, and still searching for a diagnosis of the rest... Ask me about extended rear facing!

10-25-2008, 03:56 PM	#15
clechatelier Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: The sticks...Wendell, NC Posts: 409 Ratings: 18 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: temper temper temper I'm not an experienced momma to offer advice, but DD (15 months) has terrible tempers too. Sometimes they start when I'm carrying her- she'll arch her back and I about drop her! At times she'll hit me in the face too. DH and I haven't quite decided what direction we're going to take with her discipline-wise, so I usually just let her wind down on her own without making a big fuss. She's never really hurt herself in the process. I'm 7 months preggo and it can be SUCH a strain, so I just leave the room for a minute to calm down when I'm really frazzled. Luckily these only happen when she's very frustrated from being hungry, tired, or needing a change. __________________ Chelsea: Wife to my French beau and best friend Maman to our feisty daughter 2.5 years and our son 13 months

10-25-2008, 09:51 PM	#16
ttachuk Registered Users Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 1,527 Ratings: 21 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: temper temper temper We have massive tantrums here also- from both my 3.5 year old and my 18 month old. I expect my 3.5 year old to use her words rather than hitting and screaming, and we use time-outs (cool-downs) and removal of privilages for her. For DS it is a totally different story- he doesn't have the words to express himself so we usually let him have his tantrum. I try to give him words. For example I will say "Owen is angry...Owen wants a cookie but Mommy says no". He seems to realize that I understand him and he calms down- sometimes. Otherwise I just ignore it and then comfort him when the storm passes. __________________ Mom to Bump (6), Bud (4), and Dan Dan (1).