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Old 10-22-2008, 07:12 AM   #21
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

OMG! Ok - I would get a really good lawyer, maybe there's one w/in your region with interest in your beliefs that would go pro-bono for you, etc... .Or maybe we just need to do a fundraiser!? I feel just awful for you. I would lose my mind if this happened to me. You are being so strong. Don't let that mean ol' judge or ex of yours walk all over you - stand strong for what you believe in. How old is your oldest nursling? Do you have any intentions of sending them pumped milk, etc?

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Old 10-22-2008, 10:31 AM   #22
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

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Originally Posted by kezoo View Post
That is such a load of crap!!! I am so angry for you! So your boys are better off in daycare than home w/ their mother? What the hell is this country coming to??
Sometimes they are better off in daycare depending on the situation they are involved it. Remember there are always 3 sides to every story....
While it seems that this mama is doing a great job and working for the best interest of her children unless any of us know her personally I don't think its fair to judge that all these other people are just being horrible to her. Sometimes things don't seem what they are
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Old 11-22-2009, 01:29 PM   #23
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Updated in post 28 and 30 also.

Well, it's been a month and a year since I was on here expressing my devastation about loosing my children through the courts by the hands of my estranged husband (now ex-husband).

I am doing better since I last posted, although things are not getting better. I have to go to court again in December to modify child support. I was ordered not to BF anymore, becuase of tooth decay in my LO. And I only have them 8 full days out of a month for visitation. So, I still am grieving with hope though.

I was banned here because I felt that two particular DSer's were being harsh and unbelievably critical, so I pm'd the both of them and told them off. I did not curse or threatened them, but can see how one would feel threatened after they get a real taste of their own medicine.

I just told them how I felt about their harsh judgments and opinions. So, I guess the mod(s) agreed that it was harrassment and banned me for a year, although I did not send any other messages except the one.

Anyhow, I wish only to find some comfort in posting about this situation again, to be striaght forward and frank. I don't mind sharing (of course somethings I won't), only I would like to ask that if you do not intend to approach my situation with a compassionate heart please politely disengage from this thread.

Thanks in advance to all that are open to helping me sort things out. I hope some other mother can benefit from this experience. Alot of this could have been avoided if I had only been more careful to listen to my instincts at the start of the whole matter. I didn't and just wanted to save my marriage, and my children from the devastation they went through, and are still trying to recover from.

I still need a lawyer, and finance are not great here. No one will work on a payment plan, and are requiring a 2500-3000 retainers fee. Again, I am still hopeful. Afterall, he has proven nothing except that he has more money than me, and is wiling to cause his children pain and suffering to spite me.

I guess this is also to vent, and give an update on what is currently going on.
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Last edited by sheleighya; 12-04-2009 at 09:22 PM.
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Old 11-22-2009, 01:48 PM   #24
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

how old r ur boys. glad 2 see u back, but wish it was w/ better news.
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Old 11-22-2009, 02:41 PM   #25
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

I am so sorry mama I remeber reading your post last year and just could NOT believe what your ex husband did. I remeber talk to dh after your post about the vax part and we were so sickened by what the judge and your husband were doing to you. and many prayers your way.
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Old 11-22-2009, 03:16 PM   #26
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Wow! I'm so sorry, too! This saddens and enfuriates me!
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Old 11-22-2009, 04:31 PM   #27
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

It makes me so sad and angry to see that he got away with this at your childrens' expense!

Last edited by Winter; 11-30-2009 at 02:12 PM.
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Old 11-22-2009, 07:53 PM   #28
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Updated in post 30 and 41, ty!

Thanks mamas for your prayers, that's my only true and lasting defense for battling hard times or any struggle, let alone this one. They are still very tender in age (2 and 4). They were 1 and 3 when this mess occured.

So glad I am still able to cloth diaper when I have them.

Today, I called to speak to them on the phone, and dad answers. He usually says nothing to me when I call for them- just puts them on and when they are ready, they get off.

Today, he made it his business to converse with me about the fact that daycare is closed on Wednesday. He asked me what I planned to do, b/c he has a daycare provider set up for them to go to since daycare is court ordered. I said, the daycare is closed so I do not have to take them there, and b/c it's my normal visitation time (tuesday afternoon til thursday morning when I drop them off) I am responsible for them during that time.

He wanted to demand that I bring them to him, and he will take them to a daycare provider. The order states the daycare I am to take them to, and what time I am to pick them up during my visitation time from daycare. He expressed to me, "your visitation ends when they are supppose to be in daycare, and begins again when you pick them up".

Clearly, the judge did not state what should happen when daycare is closed, but he just wants me to drop them off to him, when he should not be anywhere around when they are in my care for the 48-hours during the 2 week days I have them every other week.

What makes since here, and what does not? This is all confusing at times.
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I've lost custody of my children b/c my religious convictions are opposed to vaccinations, I practiced child-led weaning, and was a stay-at-home mother that desired to home-school. Yet no harm proven! But to have them anytime is enough to know that I'm blessed none-the-less.

Last edited by sheleighya; 12-06-2009 at 12:17 PM.
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Old 11-24-2009, 05:45 AM   #29
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

do you have a contact person (at the courts) to ask about what should happen when daycare is closed?

i'm so sorry for your strife.
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:46 PM   #30
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Further updates are in post 31.

I am having so much trouble with the court system. I have been made to bend over backwards, and be a door mat for my ex. His attorney, a previous judge in the same courts for about 8 years, set up a child support payment that was half my income. He stated to the judge and I during a hearing that he would wait for me to submit to him my pay check stubs.

At the time everyone knew that I just started my job. Of course I would need to work some time before getting a stub-about a month in the hole. Okay, so he went ahead of me and submitted a court order to the judge noted in my other post, and she signed it and the whole nine yards. I felt that he should fix the amount and base it on my pay stubs, just as easily as he deceptively had the judge to sign something that she did not address or order to begin with. By that time I was afraid to ever go before another judge, due to the intimidation and deception they work.

Well..., I decided to wait it out and refused to pay anything to him. That back fired big time. They waited it out also, and did not address my concerns. I hate going to court only for them to dance circles around me and not truely address my concerns because I am not a lawyer. Needless to say, he filed for a contempt knowing that the judge did not order anything for child suport, because she did not believe that I had a job, b/c I did not have proof yet, let alone that amount.

So when we went before the contempt judge (different), he ordered me to pay what was in the order and an increase to cover arrears, along with $400 in att. fees. I was thrust through with a rod of mistrust once and for all. However, when I got the order it said $1200. I cried, and wentinto a depressed state. I filed to have that amount changed to the $400, as the judge stated, and we had a hearing. The judge simply sat there to argued with me that he did not say $100 per hours, but never admitted that he did or didn't set it at $1200. I stated to the judge that I remembered him saying $400, and him asking the lawyer how many hours or how much time he spent on the issue, and the att. said about 4. After that I said to the judge that I recall you (the judge) saying that you felt $300 per hour was unreasonable and that $100 per hour was fair, and set it at $400. After he sternly stated to me over and over, "I am certain that I did not say $100 per hour," I said to him that is what I recalled, and if I am wrong I do apologize, but I recall him saying that.

So, he went off into repeating to me over and over that I just do not understand the law, and then out of the blue he said, "Let me guess, is that your mom?" Now, he doesn't know my mom from Eve. She has not testified before him on my behalf, or said anything, except for me stating during the contempt hearing that I shared some bills with my mother. She could have been my aunt, sister, friend, church member, anyone there to support me emotionally. Why did he feel the need to point her out? He knew more about me than I had disclosed. She did raise her hand while sitting behind me, and I discouraged her to speak, being that he asked her put your hand down or something to that extent.

Although I refused to pay that or anything to him, I did buy them stuff when I had them, food of course, and clothes and shoes (I guess hoping that some day this will be straightened out and they could use them), also took them here and there. After the hearing I have been paying child support, but not what they have in the order, I simply cannot- unless I loose my car to get to work, cut back on food bills, and not pay my phone bill, and not take the children anywhere when I have them to save gas (I drive up a tank full of gas just picking them up and dropping them off the 4 days out of every other week that I see them). So, my gas expenses are doubled. One tank of gas lasts me about 2.5 weeks at a time, taking me to and from work. I have to fill up before I pick them up on Tuesdays, and again before retuning to work on Monday following.

The judge who initially dealt with my case willingly stated in court that she would no longer be on it, b/c I filed for her to recuse herself due to being bias. So, I agreed that her decision would suffice, but then my EH's lawyer continues to mention to the other judge (chief justice, male) that he would have gone before her except she is on maternity leave.

I went to look at the case files, and found that my motion for relief (I filed) from the contempt order was not in the file (straight missing). That was so unusual to me. The judges do not remove anything from files! They simply take the entire case file to review any and all docs. His order to dismiss my motion for relief was not in there either. So I asked the clerk where could it be, and she confirmed that it should be there and they could not find it after taking 30 plus minuted to search for it.

I submitted a motion to have the CSUP decreased. We had to meet at the courts to set a date for the hearing. Sadly, I learned that he (the judge) decided to take jurisdiction over the case when he have nothing to do with the case in general. He only dealt with the contempt, being that he is the only judge that does contempts at the courthouse (at least that is what I understood). So, clearly he has to deal with that, but their exist no other ties. I scheduled the CSUP hearing to go before a different competent judge who regularly does CSUP hearings. WHY on earth would he feel the need to designate himself as the only one to handle my case, excluding other judges? I did nothing but assert my legal rights- those I know little of, whatever they may be.

I just do not understand what is happening here. All that I know is that misconduct, and unethically sound, down right corrupt things are happening to me. I am at wits end here. I do not care about money. My ex can have the money, but not at the expense of the children's emotional, mental, and relational well-being when they visit with me. They have needs no matter where they are. I was told that my oldest son shows signs of separation anxiety. He needs therapy, and I need a lawyer who can assert this stuff fairly. If you trust in my God, as I am learning to, please keep praying for me. TY!
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"Blessed None-the-less"
I've lost custody of my children b/c my religious convictions are opposed to vaccinations, I practiced child-led weaning, and was a stay-at-home mother that desired to home-school. Yet no harm proven! But to have them anytime is enough to know that I'm blessed none-the-less.

Last edited by sheleighya; 01-24-2010 at 06:57 PM.
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