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Old 12-29-2009, 01:21 AM   #71
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

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Originally Posted by MarineGurl020412 View Post
I take it that you Ex lives in the same area as you? I google NC law on recording phone calls and this will work IN YOUR FAVOR. Get yourself a digital recorder to use.
Nice!!!

I will be praying for you. This situation has me hurting for you and angry for you at the same time.

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Old 01-04-2010, 02:51 PM   #72
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Been following this thread (and old one) for over a year and subbing cause I want to keep updated now that it sounds positive.

I went through a eerily similar situation as a teen mother in an abusive relationship....
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Old 01-24-2010, 06:35 PM   #73
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

I'm saddened to say that I have not seen my children since December 25, 2009. This man has literally gone to the extreme, all because my son came back to him with a scratch on his back.

The older son was jumping on the bed, and I took him off the bed to sit him down. I didn't care where I sat him, I just needed him to stop jumping on the bed while we were getting ready for sleep.

I sat him near the foot of the bed, where the rail was. He got up, and I sat him down again, he got up, and I simply stopped him in his tracks and prevented him before he could get up all the way up, and took him by the upper arms, to sit him down again.

In the meantime, he throws a fit, and pushes back on the bed to resist, and his back gets scratched by the rail. I told him that he should be obedient and that it would have not happened had he sat still to begin with.

The scratch look just like one you would get when you scrap your leg or arm on the edge of a cabinet or desk corner. There was no bleeding, only a red line.

I dropped them off to dad on 25th of december, and the 26th he was not taking any of my calls. I called on the 26th, and still not taking my calls, then again on the 27th. So I send the sheriff by to ask them to check upon the children's well-being. They report back to me that dad said one of the children had a "scratch on his back" and he is not accepting phone calls from me at the time.

I asked did he take him to a doc, or did it get infected, what? The sheriff said he did not see it, but that is the message he got.

So, I continued calling up until I received an email from him stating that I cannot speak to the children for now, and that a process is going on due to my abuse of my children.

An officer comes to my house to investigate for assault of a minor, he told me that he doesn't see any intentional abuse going on and will pass the case on to the DA's office. I get a return call a week later, stating that the DA "refused" to prosecute the case.

In the meantime, I miss my visitation with the children, because I can't even pick them up from daycare, as dad is keeping them out so that I cannot access them. I took the sheriff with me to his house, and he is not home at all.

Their father sent me a message on the day I was to get them stating that I cannot see them until the process is done. What more was there, right?

Well, dept of social service had to come out, which they did last week. They found nothing to be classified as child abuse. She stated that when she went to their house, and before even talking with my older son, who has the scratch, he says, "my mommy push me down." Is that brainwash or what?

So, over the last week I missed visitation again. I called the daycare, and they said the children were not there. Called again, Friday, they said the children were not there all week. Now daycare is court ordered, just like my phone contact, and visitation.

Well, after the DA tells him of the results, he starts to let me talk with them again. In the meantime, they use speaker phone, and call me names while talking on the phone with my children. Those behaviors are also against the court order.

I address it right there, and he hangs up on me several times. Another day this past week he tells me that he is not with the children, and if he gets home in time he will call me or I will have to speak to them tomorrow. I refuse to hear him, and he told me to go to hell.

Today, I spoke with my children, and I said to my younger son, are you mommy's baby boy, he said "no". Then I playfully said, yes you are, and he tells me to shut up, and dad starts to chuckle out loud. I simply address that by stating, "adults laughing at disrespect is not good." He denied it, and asked the older child, are there any adults laughing, who's laughing ____?

The dept of social service said it may take up to 45 days to close it, but that they recommend that we follow the order as is, and that there is no abuse found.

So why is he still holding them away? At first is was sexual abuse, now physical abuse he's alleging. His lawyer sends me an email stating that the children's safety is of concern and that is more important than me seeing them, and that he told Mr. Howard to stop all contact.

He has been hiding out in Charlotte, NC, or anywhere he feels I may not bring the police in order to get them as scheduled.

The lawyer I am hoping to successfully work with, is asking for more funds than I have. If I knew that he was not going to immediately start on my case, and honor the amount his assistant told me they would work with me on, I could have kept looking. However, it's clear that dad's attorney still thinks that I have no one working to with me at all. I did tell the prospective att. that I need him to start now. So, it looks like they will.

Anyhow, I am still encouraged about the way things are going, because he seems to be digging a ditch for himself to fall in.

I just feel horribly for my children. They are not being considered fairly. It is clear to me that the enemy knows how dear my children are to me. However, I am learning to trust God more, those are his children too. Also, it seems that I may be offered a full time position soon. So I will not have a problem with paying attorney fees, come time.

Thanks for your prayers, I know in due time, my God will hold up a standard against the powers of evil. He knows how much I can bare.
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Last edited by sheleighya; 01-24-2010 at 07:04 PM.
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Old 01-24-2010, 06:57 PM   #74
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Mama I have been following since you first posted. It definitely sounds like all these horrible things your ex is doing is really going to bite him in the long run. Karma can be a reall B......

I am so happy that it is looking like you will get a better job and have at least a few less worries! I am going to continue to follow and keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 01-25-2010, 02:10 PM   #75
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

many many for you. i've also been following this, and just wanted to let you know i'm also praying for you.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:21 PM   #76
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

OMGoodness! This is like one of my worst nightmares.

I am so very, very sorry mama! I hope everything works out well, very soon.

Hugs,
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:08 AM   #77
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

I'm not sure about NC law, but i know in FL it is illegal to prevent visitation with out court order. Look into it, you might be able to hold him in contempt of court. Especially if the daycare is court ordered and he isn't taking them. The daycare should be able to support you on that one. I'm so happy you found legal support, call your attny and ask him if your EH can legally keep the boys from visitation. You can take legal action against him for not following the court order. Every night that he doesn't let you talk to the boys, call the sheriff's the dept about your concern. Call Social Services, you're rightfully concerned about the welfare of your boys. Start inviting people over when you do have the boys, witnesses are good. Especially if they are coming to you various ailments. When the boys do show up with injuries take them to the ER state this is how they brought to you, get police involved, STOP BEING NICE!

Sorry if I sound harsh, I've read through the whole thread. I had a friend, who while she had custody of her children always picked them up from visitation with various injuries. At 1st she bought the 'they fell out the play ground' excuses etc. Then the kids got old enough to talk. (sadly though they weren't old enough to speak in court at the time) She started taking them to the Dr, and making sure to have a friend with her when she picked them up. She was advised to do this, b/c he would wait long enough for them to get home then call the police that he worried the kids were in danger. So she started calling 911 as soon as she picks them up, before leaving his house if they are injured. It seems extreme but it was necessary.

Now they are old enough to speak in court, wouldn't you know AS SOON AS the judge told them this all the 'accidents' and neglectful behavior came to a stop. She was lucky enough to have a good judge. I am so sorry you got the sh!t scraped off the bottom of the legal barrel.

Please keep fighting, may the good win, and you get your boys back.

Blessed Be (I would insert lots of hugs but i know how) ((hugs)) ((hugs)) ((hugs))
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Old 01-26-2010, 02:38 PM   #78
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

I not sure where you live but in CA it is illegal to prevent visitation if it was approved in court unless there is a stipulation. An acquaintance of mine was separated from her hubby due to physical abuse of there daughter (just a few months old) and the cort did not take away his visitation rights but did require supervised visitation.
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Old 01-29-2010, 08:10 PM   #79
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

I've been served with a restraining order!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can they do that without due process. It was just slammed right in my face. There was sent no notice of hearing regarding his motion for the order, so that I am rightfully able to present my argument to the courts as to why they should not be granted an "Emergency Protective Order." They feigned as if they have just started the investigation with the Police Dept (for assault of a child), and the Dept. of Social Service. It has been a month and a week now that the father of my children and his att. decided to keep my children from me.

The PD investigated, over 3-4 weeks ago, and the DSS did another one about 2 weeks ago. DSS informed me after doing their investigation that he was informed of the findings, which were that no abuse was founded, and recommended that we continue to follow the order that outlines custody/visitation. The DSS worker stated that she is closing the case, and what we have are custody issues, not abuse. How can they get a protective order in place under the table like that, without reasonable cause?

It's so hurtful to see that the court system is full of bloodthirsty lawyers and Judges that are not truly about doing what is best for the children of America. At least not from my experience do I find that they really care.

Here it is, an attorney has basically stood behind a father who is using the children clearly as a weapon of destruction against a mother who has done nothing to be walked over like this.

This Emergency Protective Order was put in place w/o the courts notifying me that a hearing would be held to decide if one should be implemented. This is not through the court's domestic violence unit for battered or abused women or men. This was done right from the back door of the court house.

It barred me from communicating or accessing the children at daycare, or communicating with the staff at the daycare. It stated that the order cannot be lifted until another order is put in place, which means I have no recourse, but to helplessly go before for the courts w/o evidence that he has kept them needlessly out of daycare to prevent me from rightfully accessing them before the Emergency Order was in place, even though they didn't even have a petition file to move the courts for the order, which means that there would need to be a hearing first, denying me of my rights to necessary process/procedure.

The order stated that Law enforcement can intervene if there is reason to believe that I am not following the order.

Just goes to show that they believe that I am still as helpless as when I first started. Why would the courts allow such down right crooked and unethical acts to take place? It's my children I am worried about, and how far does this have to go before someone is really damage! Hopefully the attorney I will work with soon enough, sees and reveals all of the deception and down right unethical practices of that attorney and my children's father.

Also, he went from sexual abuse allegations in March 08, to physical abuse in December 09, and now alleging both. Does this make any sense at all?

Still trusting in my God to bring things around full circle!
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Old 03-05-2010, 05:25 AM   #80
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Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

GO TO FIRST POST FOR ALL UPDATES FROM ME.

One thing's for sure in my life, I trust in my God, Jehovah, and hold on to his promises for me in his divine word.

It's unending attacks against me from my children's father, but I know that my God will not allow more than I can bear to be placed on me. He wants me to demonstrate in my life that no matter what I will hold on to him; that through the rain and storms of my life I will not allow evil to rule.

My faith in Him has increased amazingly. It's not because I have no other option- I do, just look at what is happening around the country in passionate disputes. I just choose to walk in faith accepting that as a Christian I must let Him deliver me from the cruel hatred of my ex-husband and the evils that he employs.

The lawyer that I "didn't fully retain" gave up on my case. He acknowledge that I am being victimized in this situation, but felt that my case was not nearly as complicated as when I first came to him, and that in order to protect my rights I would have to pay in full right away, seeing that the $1700 paid to him was not enough to do anything in the courts. Yet he charged me $700 for simply looking over my case documents, and responding to my emails and phone calls, in a total of 3-4 hours of time spent corresponding with me.

Still I praise my God; because the attorney actually felt that he really didn't have to give me back the $1000 either upon talking with him further in his office.

Still my children's father moves forward in tormenting efforts to intimidate and invoke fear. After getting an unnecessary protection order, that is still not done away with, and getting the favorable (on my behalf) results from dept. or social service for suspected physical abuse he throws back more dirt and mud in my face. I didn't see my children in 2 months because of him falsely accusing me from Dec to Feb.

My children became sick when I received them in Feb, and afterwards, I got sick too. He blames me for that stating in so many words that I am negligent because there just had to be something I was doing to cause it. Even though I picked the older on up with a cough.

Anyhow, his tactics to continually declare war with me have paid off for him, in keeping me fearful of the success of his deceptions in the court system. However, I cannot fear any longer.

Yes, I still have no money, no lawyer, no defender on earth, except my Jesus. But I have come to see that my life is in the hand of my God, and the waters are determined by Him to only come so high. How high? I do not know, but I will not loose my soul over this man, although my children are caught right in the middle. They are in God's hand also. I pray for them.

However, I cannot love them so much that I am willing to loose the way in which God is leading me- into meekness, longsuffering, patience, love, peace (from striving with him), joy (in the Spirit or righteousness), gentleness (in dealing with the evil that comes from my EH), and goodness (that is possible only by the Spirit of God at this point).

I wish him wellness, but it is up to him whether he will lay down his sword and shield to stop battling with me. He seems to have gone too far, but I pray for him.

I have to go to court again regarding child support. So I do ask that those who trust in Jehovah, God, and our Lord Jesus Christ, pray for me and him, along with our children. Much mercy is needed here, and in Christ there is plenty.

I have two other court matters to address with the courts besides C-SUP, and need prayers for that also. I have faith, and God's already pronounced that I am more than a conquerer through Christ. Most times the victory is as simple as triumphing over sin within, and not so much of dealing with it without.

Thanks mama for all your support. I really am in good Spirits despite all. Praise Him; for his mercy endures forever.
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I've lost custody of my children b/c my religious convictions are opposed to vaccinations, I practiced child-led weaning, and was a stay-at-home mother that desired to home-school. Yet no harm proven! But to have them anytime is enough to know that I'm blessed none-the-less.

Last edited by sheleighya; 04-11-2010 at 11:03 PM.
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