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Old 10-22-2008, 06:28 PM   #1
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Unhappy I am feeling really torn, and sad.

It'll be 3 days (as of tomorrow morning) since ds has nursed. He is 31 months old and I initiated the weaning because it was getting to where I just could not sleep. He was waking up every couple hours or so to nurse, and I don't sleep well with him latched on. It got to where I felt like I was being forced to nurse, and didn't have any say-so over my body.
Now that it's going on 3 days and we are over the worst of it, I am feeling very guilty and depressed. I wonder if maybe I can get him to nurse one time only at a certain time of day if that would work.. but I feel like I'd be doing this more for me, than him. He did try to lift my shirt a couple times today, and he's been cranky with good reason. But we are over the hump now.. so it would be totally dumb to re-offer would it?!?!!?
Nursing has become such a huge part of my life, it seems wrong that it's over... am I really awful for taking it from him before he's ready?!
DH doesn't help, he's been telling me I need to wean since his 2nd bday.. but he doesn't really understand.
I want to cry.

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Old 10-22-2008, 06:45 PM   #2
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.



They say it is VERY common for mom's to go through a bit of a depression after they wean. If he's really done, I would probably let it be.
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Old 10-23-2008, 07:42 AM   #3
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

My DD is the same age and i know i would feel the same way .. when she was still nursing on demand i got SO depressed when i cut back to a schedule during the day for my sanity (at 16 months).. i think a LARGE part of it was hormones .. weaning will make you feel depressed even when you want to wean! That being said - if you want to offer one time a day and tell him he can only nurse at that special time, i think that is just fine - that is what i do with my DD .. she only nurses at bedtime and i wait for her to ask for it, i don't offer (anymore) .. that way i figure if she is really ready she won't ask anymore.. at the same time, don't feel bad if you don't want to do that and you just want to be done - I know my dd would be 100% fine if i told her the milk was gone.. the issue would be that i haev another baby and he gets to nurse so i would feel like she would feel jealous of him so thats why i am not going to push it any further with her.. .. anwyay.. big hugs for you - its very hard.. we were discussing this at LLL the other day and i just broke down crying because i am so torn about what we're doing.. (long story short, i want DD to self wean, but i don't know if she ever will and if i wait tils he is 4 or 5 i don't want her to rememebr me forcing her to give it up..so do i do it now, or do i wait.. its a really hard thing to think about )
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Old 10-23-2008, 09:02 AM   #4
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

I am feeling a little better today.. still feeling blue a little though.. it's so tough.. he tried to nurse on me twice in the night and told him no. If I could get him to nurse just the one time in the day, so he doesn't assoicate nursing for bed time, that would be great. I am thinking about maybe do a story time each day and he can nurse while I read him a book. But now that it's been 3 days of nothing, would I be shooting myself in the foot to offer it back to him at all now?
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Old 10-23-2008, 09:12 PM   #5
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

I haven't weaned yet, however, I know I will be a lil sad when it happens. It's completely understandable that you want to keep that special time going, even if once a day. A storytime nursing sounds like a nice idea.
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Old 10-24-2008, 10:13 PM   #6
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

Well yesterday after breakfast I sat in the rocker and got two storybooks and told him he could have nursies for storytime. Of course he hopped up in the chair right away! We did the same thing today, and I think he is getting the idea that nursies are only for storytime now, NOT for nite-nite. It seems to be working out well for both of us.
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Old 11-01-2008, 03:36 AM   #7
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

I know it's time to wean. If I keep putting off, as my dh said, he'll be 7!

I just don't know how.

We really only nurse at night, as I work full-time during the day. He doesn't sleep through the night and wakes several times to nurse. We do co-sleep (well it ends up that way).

Last night, I had my back turned to him and he was pulling at my shirt and and crying.

I gave in!

I just don't know how to do it. How do I get him to slowly step away from it? I can't stand to hear him cry...especially if I'm causing it!
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Old 11-03-2008, 12:01 PM   #8
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

I'm happy to hear that the story time is working well. My daughter always tries to nurse when I'm sewing, because she sees me nurse the baby when I'm nursing. However, he can comfortably sit in a nursing pillow while I'm sewing, she's quite too large for a nursing pillow...lol
She actually went to sleep without nursing last night, it was nice. Even though she was up at the break of dawn asking for the booby..lol
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Old 11-03-2008, 02:13 PM   #9
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

It's been great lately for both of us lately.. Now I have him taught that he only gets nursies during story time, he doesn't grope at me in the night AT ALL. I can sleep peacefully, often times the whole night through, which is the first time since he's been born! I wish I had thought of cutting out his night time nursing FIRST when he was younger so I could have avoided the problem we were having.
Some days I am so busy we are gone all day, so no story time.. in fact, I think it's been like 3-4 days now with no nursies, which means no stories either. No engorgement whatsoever.. I think I must have already been pretty much drying up.
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Old 11-04-2008, 05:01 AM   #10
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Re: I am feeling really torn, and sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Alabamamom* View Post
It's been great lately for both of us lately.. Now I have him taught that he only gets nursies during story time, he doesn't grope at me in the night AT ALL. I can sleep peacefully, often times the whole night through, which is the first time since he's been born! I wish I had thought of cutting out his night time nursing FIRST when he was younger so I could have avoided the problem we were having.
Some days I am so busy we are gone all day, so no story time.. in fact, I think it's been like 3-4 days now with no nursies, which means no stories either. No engorgement whatsoever.. I think I must have already been pretty much drying up.
I'm so glad that you found something that's working for you!! (and your son!)
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