Calling on mommas with 2 kids under 2...

[clechatelier]

...how did you make the adjustment? DC is due in less than 8 weeks, meaning my two kiddies will be right at 16 months apart. I've heard lots of advice from lots of women, but sometimes I think that while their words are meant well, they haven't parented babies in a looooong time and don't quite remember what that was like (heck, I have troubling remembering specifics of when DD was a newborn!).

So, what advice would you give? Thanks!

[thirdtimemomma]

Seems as though I've always got two kids under two. First set were 16mo apart, second set were 18 mo apart and third (this one) are going to be 20 mo apart... I dont have alot of advice... Baby gates are nice, so are play pens. Oh and I tend to keep a days worth of sippy cups filled and ready in the fridge and a good stock of prepackaged snacks! What else, OH! I would suggest leaving older sib in the crib AS long as Possible! It helps not to have one toddler running around when your sleepy or nursing. Premake casseroles now and freeze them for later. Also make ahead, say in the morning, whatever you can for meals..sandwiches, crockpot dinners..Whatever you can. And lower cleaning standards now.

The first year is rough, but I enjoyed the first set being so close. I enjoy all of them but the first set was the best! Easiest of all. But I didnt think so at the time.. The first year was hard and then they learn to play together and its so sweet.

[ttachuk]

I agree with the previous poster that the first year is the hardest...but that being said there is nothing sweeter than seeing your first born snuggling the new baby!

Here are a few tips:

- have toys/books/etc in the babies room or room where you will spend the most time with baby and nursing

- allow first born to help as much as possible with baby- my daughter loved to choose PJs, socks, diaper for baby

- find at least some time during the day that is just you and first born (babies nap time, when DH is home, etc)

- if you live in a multi-level home make sure you have somewhere you can put baby down that is safe from first-born on each level of your home (ie. playpen)

- ask for help and accept help from friends and family

- have a friend or family member come over to spend time with first-born NOT newborn

[AshtonsMommy]

Originally Posted by ttachuk I agree with the previous poster that the first year is the hardest...but that being said there is nothing sweeter than seeing your first born snuggling the new baby! Here are a few tips: - have toys/books/etc in the babies room or room where you will spend the most time with baby and nursing - allow first born to help as much as possible with baby- my daughter loved to choose PJs, socks, diaper for baby - find at least some time during the day that is just you and first born (babies nap time, when DH is home, etc) - if you live in a multi-level home make sure you have somewhere you can put baby down that is safe from first-born on each level of your home (ie. playpen) - ask for help and accept help from friends and family - have a friend or family member come over to spend time with first-born NOT newborn

GREAT advice really. I kind of felt like I was neglecting my first DS, because I was/am breastfeeding DS2.

It is hard at first, but (then again so is adjusting to being a first time mommy too) it gets easy and you get into a routine and you know when they are going to be sleeping etc... so you can schedule your showers and cleaning around that.

Thankfully my younger DS sleeps until like 10am (lazy bones I know ) So when my older DS Ashton wakes up at 8:30, I know that I have enough time for us to take a shower together, make breakfast and do stuff with him.

I have felt like I wanted to pull my hair out sometimes, but really who hasn't felt like that with just 1 baby, KWIM?

[mdeveer]

Originally Posted by thirdtimemomma S Also make ahead, say in the morning, whatever you can for meals..sandwiches, crockpot dinners..Whatever you can. And lower cleaning standards now. The first year is rough, but I enjoyed the first set being so close. I enjoy all of them but the first set was the best! Easiest of all. But I didnt think so at the time.. The first year was hard and then they learn to play together and its so sweet.

Although all of what she said was so good, I love and totally agree with the bolded and remaining advice! No, you don't have to, but it's soooo worth it when you realize you're choosing b/w one-on-one with your older child or picking up some toys and doing the dishes immediately versus in the evening. My DH has actually started doing those dishes for me at least half of the week now b/c he knows how hard it is with 2 close in age and being pregnant again.

Originally Posted by ttachuk - ask for help and accept help from friends and family - have a friend or family member come over to spend time with first-born NOT newborn

Again, all good stuff but these last two are sometimes harder for us moms to do b/c we should be able to everything now that we're moms, right?!?!? Ask for help!!! You're not the only who's had kids close in age before, and although many if not all who've done it would (or are! ) do it again, we also know how challenging it can be and don't mind lending a hand to a friend who asks. My sister-in-law showed up one morning with her son and played and watched DD for me for 5 hours about 2 weeks after I'd had DS, and it was WONDERFUL!!! I recently returned the favor b/c I remember how much I needed that. The new-mommy-high was wearing off, and my toddler was wearing me out! I desperately needed to nap with the baby, but we hadn't been able to coordinate naps yet, and I was done. That day helped me get through another couple weeks without help, and then we got things better coordinated and it got better, kind of.

Also, it's really easy to forget that the older child is still really, really young when you've got a newborn in your arms. Remember she's just a toddler when your exhaustion hits and try to not expect too much. Sounds simple, but not so much some days!

Many of my friends refer to the first 6 months (or at least 2) as the "survival phase" of going from one to two children - especially close in age. Try not to expect too much of yourself, either. The kids are the priority - my only goals were food (I did still make DH's lunch only b/c I knew he was feeling left out completely otherwise!), clean clothes, and sleep! Dh helped some with the dishes, and my mom would travel over for weekends every 2-3 weeks to do the major cleaning for me. Not everyone gets that option, but you know what I mean.

GL It's so much fun the older my two are getting b/c they're hilarious together! DD, however, has requested to only have sisters from now on b/c Aus is enough brother for her.

[mcpforever]

Great advice here. I have a 3.5 mo and 18mo (not to mention a 6 yo).

Wear your youngest as much as possible. Keeps the littlest one happier and the you have hands free for the older one. Sometimes my 18mo asks where the baby is because he's such a fixture in the sling!

And freeze freeze freeze meals. And find easy crock pot type recipes you can do in stages as you can throughout the day.

[Birdwatcher]

Mine are 17 months apart. I still think that the transition from zero to one was more difficult than from one to two.

If you made it this far, you'll be fine! I agree with a PP that the best thing ever is watching the love between siblings. Mine are enamored with each other! One might fear that the new baby takes away love from the other, but truly, the converse happens and it's love multiplying.

[Birdwatcher]

Originally Posted by mcpforever Great advice here. I have a 3.5 mo and 18mo (not to mention a 6 yo). Wear your youngest as much as possible. Keeps the littlest one happier and the you have hands free for the older one. Sometimes my 18mo asks where the baby is because he's such a fixture in the sling! And freeze freeze freeze meals. And find easy crock pot type recipes you can do in stages as you can throughout the day.

P.S. yes, yes, yes to wearing the newest LO--it will free you up for the older LO.

[rafrach]

Sorry - too tired to read everything! I have 2 boys 18 mths apart. Yes, the first year is the hardest - but once #2 starts to actually respond to #1 things improve (#2 is no longer just seen as someone who takes Mummy's attention!). The words "survival mode" jumped out at me from someone's thread. That was very true for me aswell. The one, huge thing is to try and get them to nap together at some point so that you have a few minutes to yourself - either to crash out, or to do something that YOU enjoy (nothing constructive, no cleaning/cooking etc, just curl up with a book, your fav TV show, whatever). You will be looking after 2 little ones - make sure that you spare some time to look after yourself aswell.

[EmsMom]

Do things as far in advance as possible. Make older childs lunch while they're eating breakfast lol. Get a magna-doodle, this is the best one-handed entertainment. It's so easy to sit there and draw or print letters for older child while nursing a newborn.