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Old 10-27-2008, 09:13 PM   #1
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Please Tell Me!!!

That I am not doing things wrong. My almost 4 wk old DD is a very different baby from my two older boys. She needs to be held 24/7 it seems, and only by me, Daddy won't suffice. I feel like I sleep holding her/eat holding her/go to the bathroom holding her. I work from home full time, and will go back to work in two weeks. I am nervous as to how this is going to affect my job. DH will be home a lot to help, but please tell me I'm not doing things wrong by responding to her need to be held. Or if I am doing things wrong, please guide me in the right direction!!

I tried to have her fall asleep in her crib independently tonight and it's been an almost 4 hour process now, she's overtired and miserable and I gave up after twenty minutes or so of her fussing (not CIO, I don't let her get super worked up, just a mild fuss).... ahhh, you'd think after two DC I would know what to do!!


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Old 10-27-2008, 09:25 PM   #2
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Re: Please Tell Me!!!

You are not doing anything wrong. Each child is very different. I have ds who is now 13 he was a paci baby, took breast or bottle, formula or breast milk. Slept any where and was so scheduled you could set your watch by him. Dd came along and was just like you are describing your dd. She sounds like a high needs baby. I wore dd in a sling (felt like 24/7), did co-sleep while bf just to save my sanity. She is now 4 and still a diva! Girls are so much different than boys. Lo #3 is also a boy and very easy and very cuddly! But, he is also very clingy and needy for just me most of the time. As a matter of fact all 3 have always preferred me to anyone else. This is not easy, but hey they love you. See if you can find a mothers helper to help you out while you work at home. These kids are usually under age 13 so they are cheaper. Just be sure to be around so that you can keep an eye on them. This will pass and you will survive (o.k so you feel like a prisoner of war, lol). Try the sling and co-sleeping. Also give the lo a break, she is only 4 weeks old. She just left the most awesome place where she was carreied 24/7, never pee pee or poo, no bright lights, loud sounds and never hungry. Things will settle down soon. Just try to rest and not worry about meeting her needs for now. After age 1 then you can get her to be more independant.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:30 PM   #3
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Re: Please Tell Me!!!

Oh hon, you are so not doing things wrong. Some children just need the constant contact. I think it would be wrong to deprive her of it. I know it's tiring, physically and emotionally, but she will only be this tiny once, and it will pass!

I think you are doing great.
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Old 10-27-2008, 11:10 PM   #4
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Sounds like you're doing great to me -- your baby needs you, and so you are responding to her need! I would however suggest getting a good sling or wrap, so she can have the closeness she needs but you will have your hands back. Good luck, it is hard when they need you so much!
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:31 AM   #5
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Dont worry you are def not spoiling her. Babies just want their needs met and dont know how to take advan yet. It will get easier. My ds was a VERY needy baby he wanted to nurse and be cuddled ALL DAY LONG!! I found swaddling him and putting him in a swing for movement or wearing him helped a ton and I was able to get things done. Up until 18months he wanted to be worn or held all the time. He is now starting to grow out of it and do things on his own.
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