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Old 11-12-2008, 10:44 AM   #1
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Hard time trusting other people with my baby

My mom took DD for a walk to a nearby park so I could just get stuff done and sew. I can't. I'm so nervous and scared something might happen to her. I just keep imagining them getting hit walking across a busy road. My heart is racing and I seriously feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack or something. It's gonna be okay, right? This isn't the first time though. ANYTIME, anybody has her and I'm not within sight of them, I just panic. I have all these bad thoughts going through my head and I just have to go get her. My showers are like 4 mins, because I HAVE to get out and make sure she's okay with whoever she's with. How do I get over this??

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Old 11-12-2008, 11:10 AM   #2
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

You are a first time mama. It's going to happen. We all have things we worry about with our dc and it's ok. Give yourself time and pretty soon you won't be as worried. My ds is 3 and I still worry about him when he is with other people but my dh and I. Let me tell you tho, the Mama bear in me comes out hot and heavy if I feel like someone is going to hurt me ds or won't listen to us when we tell them to stop doing something. I have one person in particular that my mama bear comes out pretty quick when my ds is around them. So far, they haven't done anything and won't hurt my ds, but they have tried to take over my role as mama and I hate it. My ds is my ds, not theirs.

Take it one day at a time and you will be ok!
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:23 PM   #3
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

I had my son on June 9th, and I definitely understand what you're talking about. I had to go back to work though, so it's been a struggle for me. In the end, I was diagnosed with PPD because of how bad things got - I stopped going to work because I couldn't bear to leave him. You should talk things like this over with people. If there's a mom group in your area, I would strongly encourage you to join and meet other moms. It helps so much to have a moms group as part of your support system. I also go to LLL meetings for that support system and it has helped me so much. Good luck mama.
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:30 PM   #4
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

It normal and a big PIA. and i am not sure if it gets better just different. I think God programed this in us so we can protect your babies. I trusted people with my DD it just I felt that i was her mother and her needs were my resoundsable, it took time but now i like that she gets to spend time with my mother and others that are in her life. we started with small trip away for each-other, and worked our way to like 3hrs away with my mother. my mom and DD are great together and she about the only one i tell take her more the 15mins. just do what is the best for you and I'll start to trust your self and others.
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Old 11-12-2008, 02:21 PM   #5
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

What you are describing sounds exactly like what I do. I've noticed it's having a negative effect on my daughter. She is really starting to distrust people, so I've been making a conscious effort to calm myself. I know being away from her for little bits at a time is good for the both of us.
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Old 11-12-2008, 02:55 PM   #6
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

welcome to motherhood and first time mama's are the hardest. It gets easier. you are a great mama!!
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Old 11-12-2008, 07:51 PM   #7
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

I had a tough time too when dd was a baby. I remember dh gave me a spa gift card for mothers day and my MIL wanted to watch dd so we could both have a break. I wouldn't go unless dh was there with mil lol. Now however with two lo's I hand them over to MIL any chance I get lmao. Seriously though, it's really tough but you do get over it. Let them have their time together so they have a great relationship.
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Old 11-12-2008, 08:25 PM   #8
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

I totally understand this and I am sure all of us mamas do but one of the previous posts had a good point. Your child can sense you anxieties and it may be harder for her to go to other people at all or she may develop separation anxiety to the point where you can't do a thing without her in the same room. I would just encourage you to practice in little ways. Let other people hold her, put her on the floor to play while your work, let others carry her or push her stroller while you are out and about. (not strangers, obviously but friends and family) Don't forget that your mom raised you just fine and she loves her grandchild so much and will take good care of her. Lastly, I know we are all trying to raise well-rounded children to the best of our abilities. A shy, easily frightened child can have so many challenges later in life making friends and being a part of sports and clubs. It will be healthy for both of you to be able to lay these anxieties aside. I hope things get better for you!!
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Old 11-12-2008, 09:52 PM   #9
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

I have two children. A 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old. I still feel this way. They are my precious babies, and I rarely ever leave them with anyone else. Even with hubby I get nervous. If DH takes DS out for Daddy Eli time, I have to fight negative scary thoughts. It's just part of being a mom. Some women get over it, some don't I think. I just continue to put my trust in the Lord, and know that He is in control (Sorry if you're not religious, just my two cents).
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Old 11-12-2008, 10:04 PM   #10
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Re: Hard time trusting other people with my baby

I'm the exact same way. I even have a hard time trusting DH with my kids when I'm not around. Not because I think he doesn't take care of them, but because I know that no one can take care of them like I do.

I'm always paranoid. I never let my kids go anywhere with anyone. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Yesterday was the first time I ever let my DD go somewhere without me. My SIL took her to her to watch Madagascar 2. The only reason I said yes was because DS was really sick and needed my full attention. Had he not been sick, she probably wouldn't have gone. I'm hoping it gets better, but for now I worry all the time.
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