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Old 03-23-2010, 03:31 PM   #1
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Unhappy venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

My official due date is May 3rd. I'm currently 34 weeks along. I have a history of giving birth before my due date. This is our 4th baby.

My brother in law called a couple days ago, and asked my husband if he could help him move his items (which is a 5 hour drive) from Albany, NY, all the way to Virginia where my bil lives. My husband asked me when my due date is!!!!! R U kidding me???? He doesn't know???? He does, but I guess he doesn't care. I told him, and he decides to take the trip with his brother on April 23rd, and it would be a 2 day trip at least!!! I'l be 10 days from my due date!!!!

We are moving on April 16th as well. So, not only will I need help with unpacking (because I'll be just about 38 weeks preggo when we move), but he will leave a week later for a trip!!! Leaving me full term with 3 kids!!!!

I told him I would rather he stay with me, because of all that is going on with our family. He told me I'd be fine, and I'm not due til May 3rd!!! I've never had my kids on my due date, and don't expect this one to come that time, either because he's already measuring 2 weeks larger!!!!

Well, I'm just venting, and so upset that my husband would choose this time, and his brother over his very pregnant wife.

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Old 03-23-2010, 03:35 PM   #2
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

no advice just that is a hard sit.
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:40 PM   #3
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

you need to tell your DH this... I don't think men really understand due dates.

The fact that he'd leave right after you are moving is ridiculous! you need him there to help organize... honestly he should be doing MOST of the work! (I already asked my DH that if we happen to get a call about a bigger apartment/townhouse coming available for May 1st, would he be alright with this since I'd be due right away.. and he said he fully expects to do all the work anyway so he's fine with it)

Do you think you are going to have your baby early? you mentioned that you don't expect this one to come on your due date, but I wasn't sure if that meant you think you will be early or late. Just measuring large doesnt necessarily mean anything.. DD measured 3 weeks ahead for the last 6 weeks of pregnancy and was born at 41 weeks.
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:45 PM   #4
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

when I was pregnant w/ DD (our second child) we were in the middle of getting out of the military and moving somewhere else. At 35 weeks DH went looking for a house 6 hours away and what do you know...my water broke while he was gone. Add that to the fact that he had his cell phone off, I had no one to take me to the hospital so I had to call an ambulance (oh that was fun) and I labored alone for 7 hours...well he's not going anywhere this time around.

You need to explain to your DH that the baby is "due" May 3rd, but could come any time between now and May 17.
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:44 PM   #5
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

Ummm yeah... your hubby needs to wake up here... I was due w/ DS July 9th, DH got a phone call from me at 8:30 am on June 17th telling him NOT TO GO TO WORK! My coworker was bringing me home and my water had broken. There was no reason to think I would have DS that night... It was my first pregnancy and we were 110% sure on conception date!!!
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Old 03-24-2010, 08:51 AM   #6
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

I also think it was inconsiderate of your BIL to ask this of your dh - he doesn't have any friends or other family that can help instead?? Can you have your doctor/midwife (whoever your HCP is) talk to your dh and tell him it isn't smart?

It's not like it's a situation where, if you go in to labor, he can be home in a matter of hours, you know? What the heck is he thinking?!
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Old 03-24-2010, 09:53 AM   #7
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

He shouldn't be going and your BIL shouldn't even have asked. Men just don't get it.

On a side note, you could come with him and visit my new twins. I'm in No. VA.
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Old 03-24-2010, 11:47 AM   #8
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

Sounds like your Hubby is looking to take a vacation from his responsibilities at home. Hopefully he will see reason but make sure you are prepared if he goes anyway! Do you have anyone to take the kids if you go into labor? Do you have a way to get to the hospital if you need to go? I know that I would be in deep trouble here if my hubby did that as I really don't know anyone in the area well enough to keep my kids. Given the situation though I would be asking my family to come visit or making friends with neighbors REALLY fast. There is just no way the hospital will allow your kids to be with you as sole guardian while you are a patient (esp in labor!). If you have to bring them they will be forced (due to liability issues - what if you needed surgery?) to call a state agency for immediate help. Just FYI
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Old 03-24-2010, 02:05 PM   #9
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

Honestly that is ridiculous! And I ditto, shame on BIL. I freaked out last time when dh left for the weekend at 34 weeks.
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Old 03-24-2010, 02:24 PM   #10
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Re: venting on my husbands choice to leave state 10 days before my due date

I agree with the other moms,your dh is being very inconsiderate. To give you all that responsibility with being as pregnant as you are just isn't fair.
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