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Old 11-18-2008, 11:06 AM   #1
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Night weaning an all night nurser

DS will be 12 months in 3 weeks and I can not remember when I have had uninterupted sleep that has lasted more than 20 minutes! He can't sleep without nursing and its really wearing me down. I am always tired and irritable and don't feel like I am the best mom I can be because of how tired I am.
I do not want to wean him completely, he still nurses whenever he wants during the day and I want to keep it that way.

At this point if I do not nurse him he scream cries and I feel horrible and give in and nurse him! I have tried cutting the feeding shorter and not letting him fall asleep while dursing, but its been over a month and nothing has changed Do I need to let him cry? If I am not around when he is tired he freaks out and will not stop crying until I get home. MY dad can eventually get him to sleep, but NO ONE else can! Not even DH, his own dad! I am lost and becoming increasingly more unhappy in this situation, I don't know what to do.

I really need advice right now

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Old 11-18-2008, 11:19 AM   #2
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

Oh Mama I share your pain! DD is 8 months old and is an all night nurser too and I cannot remember sleeping either. I look foward to hearing the suggestions! We co-sleep and I do ot want to stop, but if I don't nurse DD she rolls around the bed, often wacking her head on the wall screaming. She does sleep for exteded periods - her bed time is around 7pm and she sleeps through until around 10 when we go to bed (she sleeps in her play pen during that time) We do not move her into our bed until she wakes up.
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Old 11-18-2008, 11:27 AM   #3
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

We cosleep also and boy do I wish Brian would sleep for even an hour! He is such a poor sleeper that he doesn't have a bedtime and I almost always hold him while he sleeps Sometimes if he is napping he will sleep next to me, but eventually he will wake up and I have nurse and hold him until he wakes up.... The house is always a mess, there is always laundry to be washed and I never get to cook and barely get to eat well
Its really embarrassing sometimes. I still want to cosleep, but I guess I could part with that for a few hours each night to get some sleep!!!
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Old 11-18-2008, 02:41 PM   #4
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

I know what you're going through. I hit a wall with DD when she was 13 months old. I was tired, I was cranky and I was sure that I was never going to get a full night's sleep again in my life. Some nights she would nurse twice, some nights four or five times. We didn't co sleep, so I was getting out of bed every time to feed her and I thought that I was going to lose my mind. Finally, my mother said, "You're her lovey." She needs something else to depend on for comfort in order to get back to sleep. My MIL had gotten her an Elmo doll that she loved, so I made this her lovey. When I put her to bed, I made sure that she had a pacifier and her Elmo. When she woke up in the night, I would lie her back down, put her arm around her Elmo and tell her that it was time to sleep. I wouldn't leave her though. I would sit in the room with her until she went back to sleep. Some nights I did this numerous times. I continued to nurse her as often as she wanted during the day, but I did not nurse her in the middle of the night. It was a long process, but it worked. She is now a great sleeper and I have the comfort of knowing that she was sure of my love and my presence. I never left her alone to cry, but she did learn how to get to sleep on her own.
I know that you co sleep and I don't know how you feel about your LO being in a separate bed, so I can only offer my own experience and hope maybe that there is something that you can take from it. You need to make the choice that is best for you and your baby. Hang in there, mama. It's said often, but it's true - It won't always be this way!
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Old 11-18-2008, 02:49 PM   #5
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

I've been struggling too. At 12 months and 2 weeks, I started giving DS a warm bottle of a blend of unsweetened almond milk, organic whole milk, and pasteurized goat's milk. It's crazy after going 12 months without any kind of bottle feeding, that this is what I've resorted to, but it's helping. so. much.! I put the animal milks in with mostly almond milk just for the warm milk tryptophan effect. He gets one little bottle (5 oz) at bedtime, nurses if he wakes up again and gets another warm bottle when DH wakes up which ultimately wakes DS (between 5 and 6 am). I don't know if it's the textbook solution, but I was at my wit's end and I'm getting more sleep now.
ETA: we do co sleep as well and are still cosleeping.
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Old 11-18-2008, 02:58 PM   #6
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

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Originally Posted by LauraA1212 View Post
We cosleep also and boy do I wish Brian would sleep for even an hour! He is such a poor sleeper that he doesn't have a bedtime and I almost always hold him while he sleeps Sometimes if he is napping he will sleep next to me, but eventually he will wake up and I have nurse and hold him until he wakes up.... The house is always a mess, there is always laundry to be washed and I never get to cook and barely get to eat well
Its really embarrassing sometimes. I still want to cosleep, but I guess I could part with that for a few hours each night to get some sleep!!!
I've got to say your guy sounds just like mine!
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Old 11-18-2008, 03:09 PM   #7
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

Honestly I would not mind him in a seperate bed at this point. We are bringing his crib into our room tonight and hopefully using it at some point. I have tried bottles, but ds just will not accept them no matter what is in them. When i was in the hospital last month, he went over 12 hours without eating until he got to the hospital and I nursed him

He gets histerical when he cries and I don't know what to do. Should I give in, just hold and rock him or ignore it?
I feel so bad for him, plus I feel like a failure and like I really did ruin him by never letting him cry; although if I had let him cry I would feel the same way! I feel confussed
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Old 11-18-2008, 03:10 PM   #8
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

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Originally Posted by duckpondatdusk View Post
I've got to say your guy sounds just like mine!
Has it gotten better for you? Its so hard when they are so clingy. Even though I secretly love it when certain people are around....
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Old 11-18-2008, 03:40 PM   #9
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

It's only gotten better since he started taking those bottles. It took a while for him to warm up to them, but now he looks forward to them. I don't know what else to say to try as this has been the only thing that is seeming to help my guy night wean. I hope some mama will have help you find a solution.
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Old 11-18-2008, 07:23 PM   #10
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

My lo would nurse anywhere from 2-7 times a night. I had to wean him completely tho just after his first birthday. I was/am ok with giving him a bottle. It was hard- VERY hard the first night. He cried and cried asking for his mum mums. I was crying with him but knew it had to be done. In the end, he drank the bottle- I used a Breastflow bottle- and now rejects the breast if I offer it. He still wakes up 1-2 times at night but he's drinking 4oz each time so I know he is hungry. If you can get him to take a bottle, you could see how much he's really drinking at each feeding and then you could determine if he really needs those nursings. And yes, a lovey can make all the difference. Oh, and if you look thru here a bit you'll find a link for Dr Jay Gordon's Sleep Solution. Or buy his book Good Nights. Its a good read.
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