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Old 11-18-2008, 09:06 PM   #11
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

Thank you all so much for your advice and experiences!

Did any of you mamas have to nurse throughout naptime too? Brian takes 1 *maybe* 2 naps a day and will only nap if I nurse him. He sometimes will have a 20 minute stretch during his nap and I will try and leave him and get some work done, but if I don't get back to nurse him quick enough he will fuss and get up and be rested enough to stay up for the next 4-6 hours
I'm wondering if its a good idea to tackle this all at once or start with bedtime and then naptime once we have bedtime under control?

I just read Dr Jay Gordon's article online and it sounds like what I want, its just the crying that will kill me!

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Old 11-19-2008, 01:24 PM   #12
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

I have always nursed him down at naptime and I'm lucky if he sleeps 45 minutes, when he wakes up cheerful and rested and ready to go. I've started alternating giving him a bottle to nap with nursing. The first day he napped after warm milk in a bottle, he took his longest nap ever (almost 2 hours)-he has yet to repeat this, though. I would say my guy is a highly alert baby and I remember reading once that this can be a sign of high intelligence and inquisitiveness. I'm adhering to that as my great hope for why DS doesn't seem to need as much sleep as other babies
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Old 11-19-2008, 01:38 PM   #13
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

try this...it sounds good and once i work up the courage, i'm going to do it LOL
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

your LO sounds just like my DD. she just turned one last week. she DOESN'T go to sleep for anyone else...just me. well...she'll go to sleep if DH is rocking AND singing to her, but if he stops either one, she immediatley wakes up and screams some more LOL

just know that there are LOTS of other options other than no sleep and CIO. try that link and go from there if that doesn't work for you. i know a lot of people have had luck with the "pick up/put down" method.
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Old 11-19-2008, 06:20 PM   #14
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

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Originally Posted by mia&seansmom View Post
try this...it sounds good and once i work up the courage, i'm going to do it LOL
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
This sounds very similar to what I did with DD, just a more gradual process and I did it with her in her own bed. Now that I think about it, I did transition from standing with my hand on her back to just sitting beside her crib. She did cry and it did break my heart. But I could take comfort in knowing that she was not being left alone to deal with her anger on her own. She knew that I was there and that I would stay with her until she was asleep.
Soneone mentioned the "pick up - put down" method of the Baby Whisperer. To me that is an exhausting process for an already exhausted parent and not something that I would ever recommend, though I know it has worked for some.
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Old 11-19-2008, 06:23 PM   #15
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

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Originally Posted by LauraA1212 View Post
He gets histerical when he cries and I don't know what to do. Should I give in, just hold and rock him or ignore it?
I feel so bad for him, plus I feel like a failure and like I really did ruin him by never letting him cry; although if I had let him cry I would feel the same way! I feel confussed
Please do not call yourself a failure. You have not "ruined" your baby. You've taught him that his mama can be depended on to love and comfort him when he needs it. There is no shame and no harm in that. You should be commended for your strength in lasting this long and your trust in your own instincts. You're doing great.
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Old 11-19-2008, 07:30 PM   #16
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

hey mama!

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone...my DS has gotten significantly better with a bedtime routine. At this age, they sort of fall into a need for consistency and it helps a LOT to signal to them that it is sleepy time! My DS does much better now that he gets naps around 10 and 2, and has an 8 o''clock bedtime. (All estimates, I don't believe in a schedule so much as a predictable routine.) My DS gets dinner, playtime, nursing, bath, reading, rocked to bed. It has helped a LOT! (nevermind the teething that is throwing him out of whack!)
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:18 AM   #17
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

I feel for you mama! My son is almost 11mo and I am in the same boat as you for sleep I am bfing and have decided to night wean. He does not sleep with us (because he does not want to), he sleeps in his crib in his nursery. We have used cio in the past for sleep issues with success and he only ever cried for 30min max....not too bad although it was hard it usually only took him one night of crying to get him on track. Things would go haywire when he would teeth and start waking up frequently again...I would revert back to nursing. Well, we have gotten to the point where that just can't be the answer anymore, it disrupts everything about our family and we have to find a new solution.

Last night was the first night. He went to bed at 7:30 with little fuss (maybe 2min) I then went in and nursed him at 11ish before I went to bed(he had not woken up yet, but probably would have soon). I did this because I know he can go 8 hrs, he has done it many times. The plan was to not nurse him until 7am. I did stick to it but he woke at 1, 3, 4, 5, 630, then 8 when we got up. REALLY rough night!! He nursed well at 8. He went down for his am nap at 10:45 with hardly a fuss(maybe 15 sec). We will see how tonight goes.

Stick to your guns mama, whatever you decide to do...be strong! It may be hard at first but you are implementing something to make things better in the long run...for you and your baby. We all need better sleep. Including the LO. Good luck
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:27 AM   #18
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

I have always found that tackling night time issues spills over into the day. I suggest start with the night.
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Old 11-24-2008, 07:58 PM   #19
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

I also recommend the Dr Jay method!
We used it to night wean my son (granted he was 20 months) he was still nursing5-6 times at night. We co sleep, but moved him into his toddler bed just before this.
Its great b/c you can modify it to best fit your needs. We took longer than three days with each step.
No matter what you do, if you are going to do it, stick with it and be consistant. Its going to be hard, and you will probably lose the little sleep you are getting. But if he is ready and willing, and it goes well, it will be worth it in the end.
I wish you lots of luck
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Old 11-26-2008, 10:57 AM   #20
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Re: Night weaning an all night nurser

Hey mama. I haven't read all the responses, but I just wanted to tell you we are going through a very, very similar situation which has only recently started to get a LOT better.

Q will be 12 months on Dec 3 and he is totally addicted to the boob. I let him nurse whenever he wants during the day and until recently I let him do so at night too. He is/was a TERRIBLE sleeper. He would sleep so poorly that I just let him fall asleep whenever and would nurse him back to sleep every time he woke up during the night (we co-slept) and we would wake up on average about 5 times.

I literally felt so tired, cranky and unhappy about it one day I decided to make a schedule and routine for him and just really make him follow it. Having a specific routine I think has really helped a lot. Babies naturally crave familiarity so I think it is comforting to him. Every night we eat dinner at 6:00 then at 6:30pm he has a bath. During his bath I play some soothing classical music and I don't play with him in an excited way, just a calming low key way, kwim? Then I get him into his night time diaper and pj's and sit down and nurse him. Before he was a chance to fall asleep I get up and go into his room with the lights off and rock him and tell him it's 'bed time'. Then while he is still awake I lay him down with his stuffed puppy (I only keep this in his crib) and I cover him up. Then I walk straight out. Half the time he whimpers for a second or two and then goes to sleep. Sometimes he starts to cry, but he usually has stopped by the time I get to the top of the stairs (no more than 30 seconds) and then he goes to sleep. Of course the 3 times I did this it didn't go as easily, but it only took about 3 times of him crying for less than 5 minutes for him to figure out that this was bed time and to go to sleep.

He still is not a great sleeper, but we are working on it. He will wake up another 2-3 times per night and I was nursing him and then laying him back down in his crib. This past week I have been walking/rocking him for a couple minutes and then laying him back down in his crib. The second time I might do the same, then usually the third time I will nurse him and then lay him back in his crib. It's a slow process, but it's getting better and a little more comforting than cutting him off all at once.

For me, I just had to move him into his own room. Part of him being such a terrible sleeper was that he slept so lightly, so when I would roll over in bed or get up to go to the bathroom, or snore, it would wake him up and then he would need to nurse to get back to sleep. The straw that broke the camel's back was that he just kept trying to get off the bed multiple times per night and because my 4 year old has to come through my room to use the bathroom she often will leave one or more of our bedroom doors open and one night he found his way to the steps and fell down a few steps.

Anyway, long story short, that's what was been working for us. Eventually (hopefully sooner than later) I'd like to have him down to only waking up once and then hopefully not at all. I also wanted to add that now that I have him sleeping in his own room and gave him specific nap times at the same time every day (9:30am and 2:30pm) he naps sooo much better during the day too. I hope you are able to find a good solution and get some sleep. You really don't realize how much better you feel until you get a good night's rest. Good luck!
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