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Old 11-21-2008, 07:20 AM   #1
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i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE again 12.7.08**

i've cut mia down to nursing just 3-4 times during the day...we cuddle a lot more, but i only let her nurse after breakfast, after lunch and before bed...sometimes an extra one gets sneaked in there somewhere too. but she still isn't anywhere close to sleeping through the night and it's killing me. i feel like ihaven't slept in years and i'm starting to have anxiety attacks again and dh is deploying very soon. i need her to sleep before i'm all alone. so i think we're doing that this weekend...or attempting to. i need DH to go in whenever she wakes up b/c as soon as she sees me, she's asking for milk, even though she doesn't actually really even eat anymore. so we're following dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning plan...i hope...

i'm also really ready to fully wean her. i would LOVE to have a night or weekend out with just me and DH before he deploys. I know she's only one and the benefits of bm don't stop just b/c she turned one, but i do NOT love bf and really had to push myself to keep going to this point.

so i'm conflicted and wanting to take it slow and wanting to be done all at once i don't think i had a question, but just need some support that i'm not emotionally scarring my baby for life

**update!**

Mia slept through the night last night!! i did NOT but she did!! i was so excited. i was awake all night waiting on her to wake up. i am SO hoping this becomes habit!!

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Old 11-21-2008, 07:28 AM   #2
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..

It's OK Mama. You've done a wonderful thing! You nursed her for a year. That is no small thing. We always say around here "Do what is right for your family." That includes you. Your needs are important.

Weaning can be difficult. But I think sometimes it can be harder on us than the LOs. As Moms we judge ourselves too harshly and worry a little too much. With DD I just started by replacing the midmorning session with a cup of rice milk. Then I just kept adding that until we were done. It was less than 2 weeks.



ETA: I am so sorry about DH deploying. That has to be so hard.
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Old 11-22-2008, 07:29 AM   #3
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..

I was just talking to a friend who weaned at 14 months and in some ways we were discussing that it's better when they're younger.. they don't remember it as much. A different friend weaned her dd at 3 1/2 and it was very hard! Do what you need to do for you and your family! I actually am tandeming and one point when I was like 8 months pg I actually went away from my (now middle DD) for 2 days and was fine. I don't know if it was low milk production or what but we went back to nursing after that.. just wanted to let you know. Hope weaning goes well for you both!
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Old 11-28-2008, 08:38 PM   #4
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

Do not pass go - do not collect $200 but GO STRAIGHT to Vitamin Shoppe (if you have one it's the cheapest there) or any other supplement or whole foods store and buy CALM. It is a highly absorbable form of magnesium and it cured my post partum anxiety insomnia problem. I still take it because it helps you sleep deeper but doesn't affect you like a typical sleep aid (you aren't groggy etc). It will also help you during the day if you need it.

You won't regret it.

My dad has had insomnia for years following Vietnam, I finally got him on it and he is sleeping better than he has since the late 60's.

Hope all goes well with your night weaning....
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Old 12-01-2008, 12:53 PM   #5
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

I saw your update, so how did you get her to STTN? did Dr. Gordon's plan work for you? How is the weaning going?
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Old 12-01-2008, 09:13 PM   #6
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

dr. gordon's plan did work, i guess. mia already knew how to put herself to sleep, she just didn't want to do it. she'd rather me nurse her back to sleep. so we started out rocking her, but that took all night b/c she'd fall asleep, and wake up the instant we moved or thought of putting her down. so we figured out that if we jsut did the same thing we do for naps (laying her on our shoulder and saying, "night night Mia") that is nothing else, it'd be a lot less frustrating for us. so right after we started doing that, she started sleeping better.

day weaning...i just can't do it. and i think i'm making it harder on both of us by taking it slow. she is STUBBORN and the more i resist breastfeeding her, the more she demands it. i wish i knew what to do. i'm still trying to do don't ask/don't offer, and trying to distract her with sippy's full of milk, and that works to an extent. but she's just so STUBBORN. she is 16lbs of pure attitude. so when she decides that she wants to bf, there really is no distracting her. cuddling makes her mad, she throws the sippy at me, and when i do break down and let her nurse, she nurses for FOREVER and if i make her stop (after like 15 minutes!!!) she throws the biggest tantrums. i feel awful and like i'm doing it all wrong, but don't know what else to do. i really have no desire to breastfeed her any longer, and really, at this point the only reason i'm still doing it is GUILT. lol
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Old 12-01-2008, 09:15 PM   #7
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

and just to clarify, mia eats EVERYTHING. i know she's not starving. she drinks milk and eats meals and snacks all day long...i swear i'm not starving my child. she's just tiny
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Old 12-03-2008, 09:28 PM   #8
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

so glad dr. gordon's night plan is working for you! worked for us too! we nightweaned at 12.5 months and he went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping 1030 or 11 til 615 maybe waking once for a minute and falling right back to sleep with no nursing! phew! i love sleep!

i'm sorry day weaning is such a challenge! we aren't day weaning, but ds only nurses 5 mins or less most of the time... 10 mins tops... plus i am lzy and it's so much easier to bf than to fix him food and clean him and it up afterward...

maybe look for some books on weaning? does dr sears have any? sorry i don't have any day suggestions.
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Old 12-06-2008, 02:58 PM   #9
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

I'm so sorry that you're having so much struggle with cutting down on the frequency/length of BF sessions. I have been so *lucky* that this week DD has been ok with my not offering it. She is tolerating a sippy and still nursing a couple of times a day, but only for short periods of time. I am weaning with the ultimate goal of going skiing *adults only* in Feb, and it seems like we'll be fully weaned by that time. I feel guilty because she's not nursing that often anymore (read; it's not a huge imposition in my daily life) and I know that BM is still just as good for her now as it ever was, but I need a VACATION. I've basically been pregnant or breastfeeding for 37 straight months now (I had an infinitessimal break between weaning DS and getting pregnant with DD) and my adult relationship with DH will be done a world of good if we can get away together. It's like a switch has been flipped in me. Mere weeks ago I was NOT ready to wean and felt like going on vacation was not as important as continuing to BF DD. Now I am completely ready to wean and just wishing I could be done with it already. My stumbling block had been that DD didn't care for a cup so I was her sole source of fluids for awhile there. She is doing ok with a cup now, and it's looking more and more like real weaning could be accomplished by the end of the year. Something I've done that gets her excited about a cup is giving her a slightly watered down yogurt smoothie in there. She *loves* yogurt and isn't so big on plain milk, so this has been a great solution for us.
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Old 12-06-2008, 04:03 PM   #10
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Re: i feel selfish but i'm SOOO done..**UPDATE**

Your sleeping will get better I promise! The first few nights I couldn't sleep all night either. I still wake up 2-3 times for a min or 2 to check on my son. This is a huge step for you. Has this helped with your anxiety?

ETA: The best thing for my son when I had to wean was to read to him and cuddle during the normal nursing time so he still had mommy time. Maybe try like once a week cutting out one of the nursings and putting in the reading and snuggles? I give my son something to drink during these times too so that he still can have that. Does she take a paci? My son started taking one again since he stopped nursing, strange, but he only uses it for 2min or so for the comfort sucking he use to do. He doesn't use it to go to sleep or anything, just when he hurts himself, he keeps it in the corner in his room so he always knows where it is.
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