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Old 04-05-2016, 05:17 AM   #1
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Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

I am in a weird situation. We live in the UK currently and I am 20 weeks pregnant. The plan was to have the baby here, originally, and then stay here. Since I got pregnant however, my father was diagnosed with cancer that is potentially very bad (still undergoing tests). Because of that, we want to return to the US to be near the family. I don't get maternity leave in the UK, so my visa would be revoked after a couple of months anyway if I take time off or go back home (US), which means we would be moving when baby is a newborn at the latest. At this stage of pregnancy, it is still feasible to move before the birth, but in the UK I get medical coverage and in the US insurance might become an issue.

Should we stay in the UK until baby is born and move with a 2-3 month old? Or should we try to figure out the insurance situation and move before it is born? What would you all do?

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Old 04-05-2016, 08:26 AM   #2
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Re: Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

I think if I was going to do the move during the pregnancy I would have tried to do it as early as possible. To now plan a move and physically do the move would take awhile. Then you'd be so close to your EDD. I would probably stay at this point.

Just thinking of packing, arranging hauling the stuff, flights, new home here, unpacking, finding a new job... that then on top of switching insurance and finding a new doctor. None of that will happen quickly. I would want to know who I'm going to delivery with soon if at all possible.
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Old 04-06-2016, 09:06 PM   #3
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Re: Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

I am weird but I find pregnancy much easier than the first year the baby is here. My babies are complete messes for awhile and won't be put down, some vomit nonstop, some never stop crying,won't sleep,ect. So pregnancy pain and discomfort is not a big deal compared to after birth. Also when I am pregnant I start nesting at like 20 weeks so moving, unpacking and decorating would blend in very nicely with what I would be doing anyways. I find after the baby is born I am so sleep deprived, sore, burned out that I would probably leave the boxes unpacked for years. So if it was me I would move now but it really depends on your pregnancy/postpartum experiences. Also moving now would give you a chance to find a house and figure out the nursery /space where the baby will sleep and find the right crib /swing/gear for the space. We had to move a few times before the baby was born only to find that the space required a smaller or larger crib/cosleeper. It would be nice to buy things for the baby and know what you are going to need instead of getting things and hoping they will fit when you get there. But things like insurance and jobs are a huge issue like the pp said so that would have to be figured out first. But if all things were equal I would go before the birth.
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Old 04-06-2016, 09:55 PM   #4
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Re: Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

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Originally Posted by booty hunter View Post
I am weird but I find pregnancy much easier than the first year the baby is here. My babies are complete messes for awhile and won't be put down, some vomit nonstop, some never stop crying,won't sleep,ect. So pregnancy pain and discomfort is not a big deal compared to after birth. Also when I am pregnant I start nesting at like 20 weeks so moving, unpacking and decorating would blend in very nicely with what I would be doing anyways. I find after the baby is born I am so sleep deprived, sore, burned out that I would probably leave the boxes unpacked for years. So if it was me I would move now but it really depends on your pregnancy/postpartum experiences. Also moving now would give you a chance to find a house and figure out the nursery /space where the baby will sleep and find the right crib /swing/gear for the space. We had to move a few times before the baby was born only to find that the space required a smaller or larger crib/cosleeper. It would be nice to buy things for the baby and know what you are going to need instead of getting things and hoping they will fit when you get there. But things like insurance and jobs are a huge issue like the pp said so that would have to be figured out first. But if all things were equal I would go before the birth.
I laughed at the nesting comment and unpacking!
The thing that kept going through my mind was that an international move doesn't happen quickly. So say it takes 5 weeks to plan and pack to leave. That puts her at 25 weeks since she's 20 weeks now. Get settled. Wait the few weeks for her stuff to get to the US. Find a place to live, new doctor/ midwife, job.... getting a whole new life set up here.

That puts her early to mid 30 weeks by the time she's unpacking and trying to set up a whole house.....
If it were earlier I'd say before. That late seems very unappealing to me.
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Old 04-07-2016, 08:27 AM   #5
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Re: Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

You both make good points. At the moment DH is looking for jobs, so we'll see if that pans out and the insurance situation resolves itself. I think it would be easier if I could do it while pregnant, but only because we'd be moving to the area my parents are in and they could prep a lot of stuff for us beforehand. They could probably find us a place to rent, for instance, which would help a lot. My anomaly scan is next week, which will also determine quite a bit. If there is something wrong with the baby, or they think I'll need to have it early or something, then we'll definitely have to stay. Hopefully everything will be fine and I'll be cleared to fly until I'm 36 weeks (or whatever the airline limit is), but there are definitely medical considerations. I'm also nervous about putting a 2 month old, unvaccinated (because too young), baby on planes for 12 hours. Ugh.
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Old 04-09-2016, 03:47 AM   #6
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Re: Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

My SIL moved back to the US from the UKwhen my nephew was only a few months old. She didn't find it a problem at all, the earlier the better when it comes to young babies! The longest thing would probably be organising the passport. I would call the embassy and explain the situation with your dad and ask how long it would take to get a passport for the baby.

I think it would be the small things that would be more problematic. For example a UK approved child seat might not pass US guidelines, you might have a fair bit of stuff that would be helpful (baby gear) in transit whilst you are moving (when I moved back to Australia from the UK my stuff took about 3 months to arrive since my shipping company waits until they get a full container before sending stuff). good luck and I hope you get good news at the anatomy scan and with your dad...
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Old 04-09-2016, 09:41 AM   #7
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Re: Moving overseas - to go before or after birth?

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) (when I moved back to Australia from the UK my stuff took about 3 months to arrive since my shipping company waits until they get a full container before sending stuff).
This is exactly why I was thinking after. We've done international moves. You can go months waiting for your stuff. By the time you schedule your move then wait for your stuff to get to you till be time to have the baby.
You won't have the energy to be unpacking a house.
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