Top ten reasons not to circumcise your son

[Willows]

Originally Posted by NSnewmom When I first saw this list, I missed the intro line and I thought it was the top 10 reasons why you (as a parent) should not interfere with your child's genitals.

That's what I thought at first also, it made more sense..


In all honesty we cannot say that all parenting decisions are no ones business. That is not the society we live in and I wouldn't want to live that way. Should every parenting decision be up for scrutiny? Of course not. Yet, my BF growing up and her sister were sexually molested by their step-father during their pre-teen years and you the first thing out of his mouth "my family, my business". BTW, the mother was aware of the abuse so it was "her choice".

[afrimama]

I have not read this whole post (51 pages?!!), but it is clear to me that the whole circ thing is very political and sensitive. I must admit I find the debate somewhat strange, perhaps because I did not grow up in this country - I grew up in a country where circumcision is not routinely done, unless you are Jewish, Muslim, or a member of one particular minority cultural group. The rest of us kept our boys intact - it was not even an issue. It makes no sense to do it if you are not required to do so by your culture or religion (but if you are, then I would respect that). Routine circumcision is clearly a cultural and religious thing, not a medical one.

I also wanted to add: please let us not equate male and female circumcision. Female circumcision (of which there are different varieties) often involves what amounts to female castration. It is far more damaging to girls/women than male circ is. And to say that we should respect cultures that do that is to show a lack of understanding of the history of the practice. In many countries it was dying out but revived as a reaction to Western colonialism. It is not a healthy cultural practice, and is opposed by activists within the cultures that practice it. So please let us keep the debate on male and female circumcision separate. They are too different to be confused.

[mysticmomma1879]

great post.

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by afrimama I also wanted to add: please let us not equate male and female circumcision. Female circumcision (of which there are different varieties) often involves what amounts to female castration. It is far more damaging to girls/women than male circ is. They are too different to be confused.

Actually, you are incorrect about FGM vs MGM. Here is some reading for your edification:

http://www.nocirc.org/symposia/third/hanny3.html

Actually, anything by Hanny Klein is worth reading as she is one of the leading researchers on FGM. I learned so much from her books.

We have this idea that women are always subjected to the worse type of circumcision, when in reality, most circumcised women "only" undergo type 1 (removal of the clitoral hood.) This, plus removal of the inner labia, would approximate what is removed in male circumcision. Why should it be any less terrible for a man to have part of his genitals removed, causing life-long sexual dysfunction, scarring and health problems? The idea that men's genitals are worth less than women's is at the root of the problem here in America. My sons deserve no less than my daughter.

Recently, the AAP tried to say that doctors should perform a ritual nick of the clitoral hood to satisfy parents from circ'ing cultures. When they released this statement, there was a huge uproar - parents were horrified that the AAP would advocate simply drawing a drop of blood and not removing anything - yet these same parents see absolutely no problem in removing giant amounts of tissue from a newborn boy. Every human being deserves the right to keep his body whole - male and female.

Interestingly, the exact same reasons for female circumcision are stated by those cultures as people state here for male circumcision (it's cleaner, no one would want to have sex with someone who wasn't, it doesn't affect my sex life, I have orgasms just fine, etc.) Yet b/c of the cultural blinders we all wear, "it is terrible to do it to girls and not boys..."

Originally Posted by My Sweet Blessings top 10 reasons why the choices of another mother is none of your business. 1. it's none of your business 2. it's none of your business 3. it's none of your business 4. it's none of your business 5. it's none of your business 6. it's none of your business 7. it's none of your business 8. it's none of your business 9. it's none of your business 10. it's none of your business

But you aren't attached to the penis. You don't use it for peeing or procreation, you don't feel its sensations, you will not live with it for the next 80 years. What it looks like is actually none of your business.

It is absolutely NOT okay to just say, "Well, it is part of their culture and so not my business." It is part of some African and Muslim cultures to cut women, and it is NOT okay. It is part of some Muslim cultures to kill women if they leave their abusive husbands, and it is NOT okay. Just being a part of a culture does not grant any legitimacy to any practice - some things are above culture and are moral absolutes. Removing healthy genital tissue without the consent of the patient is absolutely morally wrong.

[My Sweet Blessings]

I'm not going to debate with you. You obviously think you are the judge of what is right for the entire world. Good luck with trying to change every culture over to your beliefs. You are going to need it.

[livn4him]

My dh is not circumcised and I did not have either of my boys either. But because an uneducated nurse tore my first ds foreskin it scarred severely and at nearly five I had to have it done because of scarring complications. If you have a lo that is still in the wrapper make sure that no one, even a medical professional touches it for any reason unless they are properly educated to NOT yank back the foreskin.

[mom2LandJ]

Originally Posted by afrimama It makes no sense to do it if you are not required to do so by your culture or religion (but if you are, then I would respect that). Routine circumcision is clearly a cultural and religious thing, not a medical one.

This is the main reason why people on this thread are trying to educate people in this country. It is not medical or necessary and many people just do it because the person before them did. Giving them medical evidence and anecdotal evidence has helped many parents chose to go against the "culture" in order to avoid something that is painful and unnecessary.

Many people in the states just dont know any better....thats all this thread is about.

Yes some people are more adamant than others and thats ok. Take it all with a grain of salt. We dont have to be offended because we dont agree. We can all have our causes. Honestly I would rather have a cause I am willing to stand up for then to just slump around saying its none of my business. If someone didnt stand up about CD I would have never known and never done it. Same for MC, FC, line drying, etc.

I mean if you dont know, you cant try something. So we're just trying to inform, thats all...

[mom2LandJ]

Originally Posted by livn4him My dh is not circumcised and I did not have either of my boys either. But because an uneducated nurse tore my first ds foreskin it scarred severely and at nearly five I had to have it done because of scarring complications. If you have a lo that is still in the wrapper make sure that no one, even a medical professional touches it for any reason unless they are properly educated to NOT yank back the foreskin.

Aww man, that is awful. Poor little guy.

Yes dont mess with the foreskin. I've found my little ones just play with it and they will know when it can retract or not. I think its not til puberty that they really need to deal with cleaning it. There is nothing to worry about under there

[hadfield531]

My hubby read this and was done, and I asked him to watch the video. After cringing and having to look away a few times, he decided that we will NOT be circing this time if it's a boy!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I finally actually got some sleep last night! Still really struggling witht eh guilt over having done that to our first though Especially after watching that video

[Leah52]

Originally Posted by My Sweet Blessings I'm not going to debate with you. You obviously think you are the judge of what is right for the entire world. Good luck with trying to change every culture over to your beliefs. You are going to need it.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
~Edward Everett Hale