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Old 11-21-2006, 12:12 PM   #11
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

wow mama, i'm so sorry that you're going through this

i would definitely not define this as "normal" but your son certainly isn't the first to retaliate against a younger sibling. in my opinion, your son is much too young to understand that he could have caused his little sister irreparable damage, and too young to understand the consequences of his actions. i would definitely seek counseling for him. it sounds like he is just having a very hard time adjusting to the difference in attention level that he receives now, not just from you, but from everyone around him i'm sure.

has your son been told that you are expecting again? if he has, maybe it was just enough to send him over the edge, so to speak. knowing that there will soon be another baby to take the attention of those he loves. i'm sure that the counselor will suggest this, and i know it could be really hard to find the time, but i think that some scheduled one on one time with you and your son could go a long way toward reassuring him of his place in your life. if he knows when to expect this individual attention, he can look forward to it, and have something positive to focus on.

big to you mama, good luck finding him the help that he needs.

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Old 11-21-2006, 12:16 PM   #12
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

I agree with all PP...sending and prayers your way!
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:21 PM   #13
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

That is awful! I don't have any advice but I hope you find out what is causing this behavior soon

When I was about a week old my parents caught my older sister (5 years old) with a hammer trying to hit me throught the slats in the crib. I don't think kids that age realize that what they do can cause such bad things to happen.
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:27 PM   #14
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

my actions towards the four year old would be a little unorthodox, but certainly I'd be getting some type of psych eval. I totally understand sibling rivalry, jealous, envy, ect... but a child choking a baby, saying he hates the baby and wants the baby to go to hell. That would have me worried beyond words. I've got a four year old, and all other four year olds that I know, do understand actions that can harm and certainly understand the feeling of hate. They understand love and compassion, they can understand the opposite, kwim? Don't underestimate what your son is thinking, as it's obvious he's capable of putting thoughts/feelings into actions in the hopes of an outcome to his desire.

I'm so sorry you've had to endure this and I sincerely hope things can be figured out soon. You don't need the mental stress this brings on, especially with another on the way. Good luck to you and I'll keep you and your kids in my prayers.
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:27 PM   #15
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

I agree with the posters who say he needs help ASAP. Yes, he may not fully comprehend what he was doing BUT when he puts those exact words with the actions... that is over the edge...
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:30 PM   #16
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

Well first, I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this.

Second, I'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to KILL the baby. A 4yo doesn't really have the mind set to purposely KILL someone. They don't understand permanance and what doing that could do. They don't realize that if you give a baby a marble to play with that they could choke and die, forever. Die to them means they fall on the ground and get back up later. The only death my kids have seen is on TV, obviously fake so they don't really KNOW that you never come back, EVER. We try to talk about that kinda stuff but mainly with the 9yos since they can actually grasp the concept. Even teenagers don't really get the consequences for their actions, like shooting ppl at school just to get rid of a problem. kwim??

I'd definatly call your Ped and set something up for a referral. Not that you aren't already, but keep a very close eye on them together. Don't seperate them though and make him out to be the bad guy. He may not like sharing the attention with his sibling but I don't think he wants to kill the baby. Just wants more mommy time! KUP!!
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:34 PM   #17
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

I think we need a serious intervention here. Please call your Ped. and get that sorted out before he hurts the little one (or purpose or not.)
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Old 11-21-2006, 01:07 PM   #18
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

I don't know why but my post got eaten.

Essentially, this is not normal. He was malicious. He meant to hurt her if he didn't mean to kill her.

To say what he said and do what he did is NOT normal. How does he even know what Hell is???

My 4.5 yr old knows well and good cause and affect. My 3.5 year old will sometimes pat his 13 month old sister on the head too hard but he's INTENDING to be nice.

This is the kind of "childhood ignorance" some people are referring to.

Giving an infant a marble is being "nice". It's sharing toys, trying to make them happy. Tying a belt around their neck and squeezing the life out of them while saying they want the baby dead and to go to hell, I'm sorry, that's plain sick.

Normal sibling rivalry, jealousy would've manifested itself long ago. He hasn't been an only child in his memory. Long term memory doesn't even develop until around 3 years old. You aren't suddenly jealous of your 8 month old sibling. Something is just not right here.

I'm sorry you are going through this mama!
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Old 11-21-2006, 01:12 PM   #19
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fither View Post
wow mama, i'm so sorry that you're going through this

i would definitely not define this as "normal" but your son certainly isn't the first to retaliate against a younger sibling. in my opinion, your son is much too young to understand that he could have caused his little sister irreparable damage, and too young to understand the consequences of his actions. i would definitely seek counseling for him. it sounds like he is just having a very hard time adjusting to the difference in attention level that he receives now, not just from you, but from everyone around him i'm sure.

has your son been told that you are expecting again? if he has, maybe it was just enough to send him over the edge, so to speak. knowing that there will soon be another baby to take the attention of those he loves. i'm sure that the counselor will suggest this, and i know it could be really hard to find the time, but i think that some scheduled one on one time with you and your son could go a long way toward reassuring him of his place in your life. if he knows when to expect this individual attention, he can look forward to it, and have something positive to focus on.

big to you mama, good luck finding him the help that he needs.

no we have not told the kids I am pregnant again
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Old 11-21-2006, 01:18 PM   #20
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Re: My 4 yo tried to kill the baby!!!

well I called the ped they are giving me a referral to the Ruth Cooper Center for psych help. In the mean time they told me to watch the baby very closely and NEVER allow them alone for even a minute. They upped the dose of his adderall hoping it is an impulse problem and his clodine as well. He has never been an aggressive child really infact he is usually the whipping boy for his older sibs. They blame everything on him and try to get him in trouble, so maybe he is just lashing out at someone smaller then him. I don't know. Geeze what I wouldn't give for semi-normal kids!!!!
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