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Old 01-23-2009, 04:45 PM   #1
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What makes up a good SAHM?

I mean what do you think makes up a good SAHwife/mother? Is it getting chores done? Laundry? Cooking? Just caring/teaching the children?

Just thinking about this and was curious to others opinions.

Here is what I feel I need to do to feel like I'm doing a good job. Obviously, everyday is not perfect and some weeks I feel like I haven't done any of these things, but these are my goals and I strive to do them daily. This is strickly personal and not asked by my DH, but I feel it is my duty as a SAHMW.

I lay out my DH undies and undershirt w towel for his morning shower.
I make sure he has clean clothes and iron them for work the next day.
(Ok, sounds sillly, but I feel like when I slack on thie two above, I'm not being a good wife to him. I guess I feel like it shows him I appreciate what he does for us. So they are important to me.)
I buy groceries,cook, or plan (order) him dinner when gets home.
I try to keep the house clean and picked up.
I support him, encourage him, and pray for him on a daily basis.
I make myself available to him when he wants "IT."

I wish I would wake up early before my kids, but usually don't (they are all early risers and all usually up way before 7am)
I greet them w a hug in the morning.
Try my best to serve them a healthy bkfst, lunch, and snack.
I plan our day with activities and learning (sometimes at home and sometimes on the go)---HSing
Make it a priority to read God's word together in the evening.
Love them, discipline them, laugh with them, train them, teach them, hug the, encourage them, and one day let them go.

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Old 01-23-2009, 06:02 PM   #2
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

All those things sound like what a wonderful STAHM does!!!! But, just because you forget one day to do the laundry or you don't everything picked up or you don't iron his clothes doesn't make you a bad mom/wife. The most important things are the things you listed last! That's what I want to strive to do for my children/dh...make sure that they are loved, happy, healthy, and that they respect the Lord and others!
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:08 PM   #3
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

It's an interesting topic. I'm a SAHM, but I'm not good at keeping the house clean. I often feel like I'm a bad SAHM because of this. I'm actually striving to change it, but it's a work in progress. However, I also take care of all the bills and any household business to be done. I strive to make my DH know that we love and appreciate him and want him home. I always try to act excited when he comes in the door and teach my children to respond the same. I think being a good SAHM is really all about taking care of your family needs and the most important thing is all that you said last. It's not really about how clean your house is or what you eat for dinner. It's about the values and love and morals you instill your children and the time you invest in your family and how well you respect, love and support your DH. For me, it is also about making sure I show them Christ's love daily and teaching them to love and follow Him. There are many ways to go about that. For some it's laying out clothes, for others its running to the door and throwing your arms around your DH when he comes home.
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Old 01-23-2009, 10:07 PM   #4
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Makes me feel bad, I am doing good to get the dishes done lately, the laundry is a mountain spread between 3 rooms right now (basically everyone's laundry baskets have overflowed) and washing it twice a week (not counting diapers) is a good week for me. I feel that DH knows where his clothes and the towels are and he's an adult and he doesn't argue with me there as long as I at least wash them when they get dirty and I do at least get his clothes washed twice a week. Healthy meals 99% of the time I do manage, eating out is just neccesary sometimes. I'm slacking on reading the Bible cause I've been SOOOO busy with a lot of things (probably part of why it feels like my life is falling apart) Regardless I still manage to straighten the house as much as I can with a baby on my hip and take care of my kids as I should.

Okay in my defense I have a small home business to help make ends meet so I kinda have 2 jobs, my dad's cancer is back and my litle brother is in trouble so I've been doing what I can to help my mom hold it together with my family and the church (my dad's the pastor & I'm children's pastor) and DH is loosing his job so I've got a lot on my plate right now. I guess all that said I think it depends on your family and your situation. Right now our lifestyle works for us and holding my family together is high on the list of priorities for both me and DH right now and Alex (my 5 mo old) isn't doing so well with the teething and making things difficult so he's being very understanding about the days I don't get anything done. I'd LOVE to be a mom and wife like you described but I just can't. Sometimes I feel like I've failed my husband and family but I just have to pick myself up and try again. I know I'll never be June Cleaver but I try to do what I can.
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Old 01-23-2009, 11:03 PM   #5
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

[QUOTE=clothmamaof4;6096026] Makes me feel bad, I am doing good to get the dishes done lately, the laundry is a mountain spread between 3 rooms right now (basically everyone's laundry baskets have overflowed) and washing it twice a week (not counting diapers) is a good week for me. [QUOTE]

Mama, Don't feel bad. I said I do laundry, not that I don't have laundry. We have piles and piles too. Some days i get 1 load n and others i get 6 (and there are still piles to do!) By no means is my house spotless or perfect. I just try and do my best day to day to be the kind of SAHM/W that I want to be in my head.

Ad this was a good day.....
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Old 01-25-2009, 06:54 PM   #6
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

I don't have anything to add, but I love the opening post.
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Old 01-25-2009, 07:11 PM   #7
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Quote:
Originally Posted by clothmamaof4 View Post
Makes me feel bad, I am doing good to get the dishes done lately, the laundry is a mountain spread between 3 rooms right now (basically everyone's laundry baskets have overflowed) and washing it twice a week (not counting diapers) is a good week for me. I feel that DH knows where his clothes and the towels are and he's an adult and he doesn't argue with me there as long as I at least wash them when they get dirty and I do at least get his clothes washed twice a week. Healthy meals 99% of the time I do manage, eating out is just neccesary sometimes. I'm slacking on reading the Bible cause I've been SOOOO busy with a lot of things (probably part of why it feels like my life is falling apart) Regardless I still manage to straighten the house as much as I can with a baby on my hip and take care of my kids as I should.

Okay in my defense I have a small home business to help make ends meet so I kinda have 2 jobs, my dad's cancer is back and my litle brother is in trouble so I've been doing what I can to help my mom hold it together with my family and the church (my dad's the pastor & I'm children's pastor) and DH is loosing his job so I've got a lot on my plate right now. I guess all that said I think it depends on your family and your situation. Right now our lifestyle works for us and holding my family together is high on the list of priorities for both me and DH right now and Alex (my 5 mo old) isn't doing so well with the teething and making things difficult so he's being very understanding about the days I don't get anything done. I'd LOVE to be a mom and wife like you described but I just can't. Sometimes I feel like I've failed my husband and family but I just have to pick myself up and try again. I know I'll never be June Cleaver but I try to do what I can.
You sound like a great wife and mother to me. Sometimes being a good SAHM/W just means you keep going day after day even though it's hard and life is a struggle. Not everyone does that. Plus, there are different seasons in our lives and some are seasons where we feel we have it all together and others we feel like we aren't keeping up. It's how we handle those that makes us a good mom/wife.

Also, just so you know, I'm awful at getting laundry down. Often, my DH has to do it because I just can't get to it. He washes, but doesn't fold, so more often than not, we dig our clothes out of baskets in the AM.
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Old 01-25-2009, 07:49 PM   #8
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

To me a good sahm is a mom who likes that she is home and takes care of her family. I had a career before ds was born, now I have the best job on earth. I think I am a good sahm because I try to do my best in the best interest of my family and also because I am happy doing that.
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:26 AM   #9
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

I saw your question and the first answer that came into my head was "Sleep!"
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Old 01-26-2009, 04:15 AM   #10
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

my dh is in training for the next month then straight too a 8 month deployment, so i am trying too figure out how too be a great sahm with out the other half. i am 99% sure that if dh could see what our home looked like now he would fire me and 1% sure he would cry with me. my son is eating a burrito out of a bowl and just in case no one is awake now it is 5 am here... i have not done dishes all day and we only have four of each so i usually do dishes after every meal. my laundry is not too bad but dh has a thing about laundry so as soon as our one small circle basket is full it has too be washed, well its full and a small pile on the floor. our living room has not been swept in almost a week and i really do not think i care at the moment. the kids are fed, clean, happy and healthy. i think that at this time that is the best sahm i can be. hopefully in a week or so when i have adjusted too doing everything my self i will be able too feed the kids on plates... and all the other normal stuff i should be doing.
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