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Old 01-26-2009, 05:46 AM   #11
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

You have a very good list but there is one that I have found through DH's line of work that many women forget. You sort of have it listed but I think it needs to be emphasized a bit. That is to support DH with his job/work.

I personally feel that his job/work comes before almost everything. Because honestly if he didn't have his job/work I couldn't do what I do and the house would be much more stressful.

Having said that I know that you military wives have it much harder then those of us that are a wife to someone in the private sector, however you would be surprised to hear what some wives will not put up with with their private sector spouses. It is really sad.

BTW I wish I could do all of the things you listed! Max is just getting into enough of a routine that I can now start to do things around the house again.

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Old 01-31-2009, 06:11 AM   #12
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Great first post!

I too strive to fulfill my husband's needs in small ways to show him my appreciation for how he provides for our family. This can be SO hard, let me tell ya, but here are the ones I work on the most:

- Not bombarding him with conversation/problems/a child when he walks through the door.
-Putting away his clothes and other items left around the house without harassing him first.
-Get up with the baby at night as much as I possibly can so he can sleep (this one I'm doing right now actually)
-Having dinner prepared and on the table every night.
-Cleaning up the dishes without complaint.

The last is super hard bc I cooked and don't want to have to clean too, kwim? But this is when he takes care of the kids for me and I get a break (its also our baby's fussy time and I don't have the patience to deal with that at the end of the day!).

I also try to make sure my babies eat right and get outside a lot. I try to love on my daughter daily, even when she's driving me crazy!
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Old 01-31-2009, 07:42 AM   #13
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Well, I feel like the oddball, not the norm.

What I do to be a good (sah)mom:

I believe a mom's job is to help a child grow up. I make sure that days are filled with opportunities to learn independent skills and social graces, as well as teamwork and problems to solve. I have a willing ear, and always a shoulder ready when life seems to get too tough. I may not always understand current interests, but I do my best to encourage them.


What I do to be a good (sah)wife:
Well, this is a bit different. I believe I am a person of my own being, and as such the greatest gift I can give to my dh is developing who I am - an interesting, lively person who both loves to share my interests as well as appreciate his. I am strong enough to know my weaknesses (part of why I don't cook most of the meals!), and grateful enough to know his, and that we can balance each other out. I work hard on saying exactly what I mean and putting tense conversations into non-accusatory words. I respect him as a person of his own being - I don't nag or scold when his way of doing something is different than mine, or have him 'ask permission' to go out with his friends.
I stay in shape, so I feel good about my body and confident when we go out. It's not the perfect shape, but it's mine and the best it's going to get. I stand up for what I believe in even when it goes against the grain and what he wants.
I don't cook, spend time picking up after him, lay out or iron his clothes, or am in any way a personal maid service. I am a partner. When he cooks, I clean, and vice versa. If I dust the living room, he will vacuum. We grocery shop together, we do bills together, and we plan our lives together.

I am not a helper, I am a partner.
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Old 01-31-2009, 07:50 AM   #14
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Quote:
Originally Posted by clechatelier View Post
Great first post!

I too strive to fulfill my husband's needs in small ways to show him my appreciation for how he provides for our family. This can be SO hard, let me tell ya, but here are the ones I work on the most:

- Not bombarding him with conversation/problems/a child when he walks through the door.
-Putting away his clothes and other items left around the house without harassing him first.
-Get up with the baby at night as much as I possibly can so he can sleep (this one I'm doing right now actually)
-Having dinner prepared and on the table every night.
-Cleaning up the dishes without complaint.

The last is super hard bc I cooked and don't want to have to clean too, kwim? But this is when he takes care of the kids for me and I get a break (its also our baby's fussy time and I don't have the patience to deal with that at the end of the day!).

I also try to make sure my babies eat right and get outside a lot. I try to love on my daughter daily, even when she's driving me crazy!
I agree totally with you. I do everything around the house. Keep it super clean so when he comes home ...he feels welcome. Serve him and anticipating when he wants his tea. Dont trouble him with our daily issues.
He loves the fact that I am home.
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Old 01-31-2009, 07:53 AM   #15
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

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Originally Posted by slingmama4 View Post
I mean what do you think makes up a good SAHwife/mother? Is it getting chores done? Laundry? Cooking? Just caring/teaching the children?

Just thinking about this and was curious to others opinions.

Here is what I feel I need to do to feel like I'm doing a good job. Obviously, everyday is not perfect and some weeks I feel like I haven't done any of these things, but these are my goals and I strive to do them daily. This is strickly personal and not asked by my DH, but I feel it is my duty as a SAHMW.

I lay out my DH undies and undershirt w towel for his morning shower.
I make sure he has clean clothes and iron them for work the next day.
(Ok, sounds sillly, but I feel like when I slack on thie two above, I'm not being a good wife to him. I guess I feel like it shows him I appreciate what he does for us. So they are important to me.)
I buy groceries,cook, or plan (order) him dinner when gets home.
I try to keep the house clean and picked up.
I support him, encourage him, and pray for him on a daily basis.
I make myself available to him when he wants "IT."

I wish I would wake up early before my kids, but usually don't (they are all early risers and all usually up way before 7am)
I greet them w a hug in the morning.
Try my best to serve them a healthy bkfst, lunch, and snack.
I plan our day with activities and learning (sometimes at home and sometimes on the go)---HSing
Make it a priority to read God's word together in the evening.
Love them, discipline them, laugh with them, train them, teach them, hug the, encourage them, and one day let them go.
I should be adding some items from your list...I am mostly cleaning while he is praying.
We dont eat together with him...he works 12 hours a day. I eat with my kids.
We should read God's word together..
this thread have inspired me!!!!
NIce post mama!!
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Old 01-31-2009, 10:42 AM   #16
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
Well, I feel like the oddball, not the norm.

What I do to be a good (sah)mom:

I believe a mom's job is to help a child grow up. I make sure that days are filled with opportunities to learn independent skills and social graces, as well as teamwork and problems to solve. I have a willing ear, and always a shoulder ready when life seems to get too tough. I may not always understand current interests, but I do my best to encourage them.


What I do to be a good (sah)wife:
Well, this is a bit different. I believe I am a person of my own being, and as such the greatest gift I can give to my dh is developing who I am - an interesting, lively person who both loves to share my interests as well as appreciate his. I am strong enough to know my weaknesses (part of why I don't cook most of the meals!), and grateful enough to know his, and that we can balance each other out. I work hard on saying exactly what I mean and putting tense conversations into non-accusatory words. I respect him as a person of his own being - I don't nag or scold when his way of doing something is different than mine, or have him 'ask permission' to go out with his friends.
I stay in shape, so I feel good about my body and confident when we go out. It's not the perfect shape, but it's mine and the best it's going to get. I stand up for what I believe in even when it goes against the grain and what he wants.
I don't cook, spend time picking up after him, lay out or iron his clothes, or am in any way a personal maid service. I am a partner. When he cooks, I clean, and vice versa. If I dust the living room, he will vacuum. We grocery shop together, we do bills together, and we plan our lives together.

I am not a helper, I am a partner.
I believe and follow God's word and that makes me his helpmate (Genesis 2:18 and 22, plus many more), not his partner. God brought Eve to Adam, not the other way around and he did not create them at the same time. That doesn't mean we are not equal in the eyes of God. It means my husband is the leader of our family and I was designed to be his helper. I feel that is more than a partner. I am his other half, and with out each other we would not work. I fulfill his weaknesses and he fulfills mine. To be a helpmate means to me to do the things I listed in my OP (as well as other things that I feel convicted to do); however God made us all unique and we will all have our own convictions as to what being a helpmate to our husband means to us. Not trying to argue, just disagreeing and explaining my personal Christian beliefs.
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Old 01-31-2009, 11:04 AM   #17
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

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Originally Posted by slingmama4 View Post
I believe and follow God's word and that makes me his helpmate (Genesis 2:18 and 22, plus many more), not his partner. God brought Eve to Adam, not the other way around and he did not create them at the same time. That doesn't mean we are not equal in the eyes of God. It means my husband is the leader of our family and I was designed to be his helper. I feel that is more than a partner. I am his other half, and with out each other we would not work. I fulfill his weaknesses and he fulfills mine. To be a helpmate means to me to do the things I listed in my OP (as well as other things that I feel convicted to do); however God made us all unique and we will all have our own convictions as to what being a helpmate to our husband means to us. Not trying to argue, just disagreeing and explaining my personal Christian beliefs.

Ah, well, good thing we don't believe in the same God.


To explain, mine created everyone equal. Yes, there was Adam, poor lonely Adam. God gave him a companion. He didn't decide Adam was incapable of getting a towel and then created Eve - He did so because Adam was lonely. There is nothing in my instructions that decree I should serve another with no regard to myself, with no regard to partnership, or that I should be beneath a person simply because I am absent a penis.

Again, to each their own. But we're quite happy with treating everyone equal here.
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Old 01-31-2009, 12:57 PM   #18
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

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There is nothing in my instructions that decree I should serve another with no regard to myself, with no regard to partnership, or that I should be beneath a person simply because I am absent a penis.

Again, to each their own. But we're quite happy with treating everyone equal here.
No one stated that I am his servent or that I am beneath him. I do the things I do out of a servents heart, just as Jesus did, and my love for him and Him. I do them regardless of if I think he deserves them or has earned them because that is the kind of wife God has called us to be.
1 Peter 3:1-2 , Titus 2:4-5
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Old 01-31-2009, 01:32 PM   #19
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

Interesting post There are days I feel like a good sahm and days I definitely feel I failed for the day, but hopefully it all evens out And as long as my dh has clean undies, he thinks I'm doing a great job so if I can get laundry done every day, I'm doing good LOL! Sara

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Old 01-31-2009, 01:54 PM   #20
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Re: What makes up a good SAHM?

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To me a good sahm is a mom who likes that she is home and takes care of her family. I had a career before ds was born, now I have the best job on earth. I think I am a good sahm because I try to do my best in the best interest of my family and also because I am happy doing that.
Totally and utterly the thoughts in my head

OP: You're doing your best and its way more than I do. Way to go! Pat yourself on the back for doing all that you do for your family
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