Need book recommendations/advice for non-sleeping/super clingy baby

[myfrugalfunlife]

I'm officially at my wits end-my son is 8 mos old and is still waking up every 1-2 hours a night to nurse. He's also very clingy-he refuses to be independent at all, I seriously cannot put him down for a minute. He won't even sit in his high chair to eat, I have to hold him I keep getting paged to nursery on Sundays because he has fits if I'm not holding him, won't sit in his bouncy seat, won't play on the floor (he cannot sit up yet and I know its because he refuses to be on the floor, even if I'm there with him)-at night we've tried cio a few times but he gets absolutely hysterical. He is still nursing, except for fruits/veggies, whereas my girls were on bottle/formula by now and slept great, were very independent (could put them in their excersaucer long enough to take a shower etc). I feel aweful but the highlight of my day is his nap times Would love some book recommendations or advice! Sara

[nini02]

Well, separation anxiety is very common at his age - and I believe in the long run you will both be better off if you allow him to be clingy through this stage and just sort of go with it. Do you have a mei tai or something similar? A baby carrier was a life saver for me and many others at that age....

My son woke up a lot until he was over a year old...but we co-sleep so that wasn't really a problem for us.

[Judesmommy]

is something new that has started or something that has been going on for awhile? I know my friends baby had separation anxiety quite bad at that age, if she left the room her DD would cry even if she could still see her. It did get better, I actually took her daughter a couple times so she could have a break and she howled for almost 30 minutes but eventually calmed down and would play. Maybe you could have a friend with a high tolerance for fussiness and crying to come over and let you get out of the house so to go grocery shopping or something. If you're not near at the time both he and the person he's with are forced to get used to each other.

I also agree with the other mama with using a baby carrier or sling. I love my sling because it goes in so many different postions and leaves your hands free to get things done. It also keeps DS close to the body so hes not flopping around like he does in the snuggly.

[myfrugalfunlife]

Originally Posted by Judesmommy is something new that has started or something that has been going on for awhile? I know my friends baby had separation anxiety quite bad at that age, if she left the room her DD would cry even if she could still see her. It did get better, I actually took her daughter a couple times so she could have a break and she howled for almost 30 minutes but eventually calmed down and would play. Maybe you could have a friend with a high tolerance for fussiness and crying to come over and let you get out of the house so to go grocery shopping or something. If you're not near at the time both he and the person he's with are forced to get used to each other. I also agree with the other mama with using a baby carrier or sling. I love my sling because it goes in so many different postions and leaves your hands free to get things done. It also keeps DS close to the body so hes not flopping around like he does in the snuggly.

its been since birth, my dh is now just being able to hold him for a couple minutes without my son flipping out. I do have a couple carriers that I use outside the house, I'll have to try them inside and see if that will free up my hands a bit. During the day I can usually deal with it but the nights are kicking my butt-I've even tried feeding him a bunch of rice cereal right before bed to 'weigh him down'-nope, he's up an hour later wanting to nurse. He's very scrawny for his age (not on the charts), so I feel bad resenting him wanting to eat, but getting 3 hours sleep a night and having him, plus a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old is really starting to make me a cranky mamma bear sara

[Skittle]

I think, I read all the books out there *lol*. I definitely recommend "The Baby Whisperer" and while I don't agree with the writer on many things, it has saved me from not loosing my mind. We are still not there and I haven't followed the plan all the way. I decided to give it a try and I to go all the way to see if DD sleep will improve even more. She's still a horrible sleeper at night but her naps seem to have improved a lot.

Another book I recommend is "No-Cry Sleep Solution". It's a great book but I didn't have enough strength for it because I was too exhausted and tired and I was loosing my mind and needed a quicker fix.

[doodah]

If he has been like this since birth than "waiting the phase out" will most likely not work. It is a shame that he does not even spend much time with his dad or anyone else. I would encourage you to keep researching ways to help him be more independent. What does your ped say about his size and feeding issues? The only general thing I can say is that you will just need to make a commitment to consistently help him do things on his own. Leave him on the floor to play and encourage him to reach his milestones. Try to offer him other soothing things besides holding him constantly. Like if he is crying on the floor, sit next to him and play versus putting him in your lap. I know it is sooooo hard to hear them cry so best of luck to you. I will say that I had a daycare kid that I eventually had to let go of my daycare for this very reason and know numerous moms who never addressed this and were carrying around and constantly consoling kids as old as four and five. In the daycare case, this child just cried all the time and would not stop until mom came and got him. She never addressed this issue at a younger age and now can't find a daycare to take him. I really hope you find something that works for you and kuddos to you for being a proactive mom and making a hard choice that will be the best for him in the long run.

[Skittle]

Is your LO REALLY eating when he wakes up at night or is he just sucking for few minutes and falls to sleep? Honestly, he sounds like DD. I got her used to being nursed at night and she used to wake up on the dot. She's not waking up because she's hungry but because it's a habit.

[Maddie&Jake'sMom]

If its been since birth, have you ruled out silent reflux or food issues? This is a VERY common thing for babies with these issues, and they often go undiagnosed (no obvious symptoms) but cause great discomfort for baby. These things lead to frequent nightwakings, clingy babies and fussy babies.

When babies in this situation are left to CIO or be sleep trained, it hurts them even more.

I'd rule out ANY and ALL issues that are underlying before doing anything drastic.

[Maddie&Jake'sMom]

Originally Posted by Skittle Is your LO REALLY eating when he wakes up at night or is he just sucking for few minutes and falls to sleep? Honestly, he sounds like DD. I got her used to being nursed at night and she used to wake up on the dot. She's not waking up because she's hungry but because it's a habit.

Also, reflux babies commonly need to nurse for comfort and will do it all night. Not out of habit, but because its comforting them.

[Skittle]

Originally Posted by Maddie&Jake'sMom Also, reflux babies commonly need to nurse for comfort and will do it all night. Not out of habit, but because its comforting them.

Wouldn't they want to nurse the same way during the day as well? Would they wake up on the dot every hour like they have an alarm clock inside their body? Really.....with my DD I know it's a habit even though she has reflux.

But I ditto the reflux thing. Did you check in with your ped?