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Old 01-31-2009, 01:06 PM   #1
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Would you...

let your 2 yr old or small child that does not swim be babysat at a house that does not have a gated pool? How about an unfriendly snappy dog, or construction going on? AND in addition to that a ton of breakables, a wrought iron stair cast, fire place with spikey things and brick near them, Stone sculptures on pedistals, and glass and crystal everywhere?

Sorry that I feel like I posting a ton lately on these little issues. This is what is keeping me sane! lol I am wondering if I am overreacting. I know I probably more oversensitive to this due to GC's accident. But, my mother is seriously upset with me because I won't let her babysit at HER house due to this.

We had to cancel GC's (my 4 yr old son's) dr. appt on fri because at the last minute my mom mentioned to me that she planned on taking my dd to her house because she had an electrician coming even though she knew I had told her I didn't want her to. She said if I wanted her help, I needed to be flexible and get over it. My sister watched Sofia (2yrs old) last Sat for the whole day and I did not worry about it at all! I know my sister is cautious and she doesn't have pets, construction, or a pool.

My issue with my mom is that she doesn't respect my wishes when it comes to my kids. I told her that even if I was the most neurotic mother in the world.. it is not her call to go against my wishes because she thinks SHE is right.Am I wrong? For example, at the hospital, she kept taking pictures of Giancarlo and he was all morphined up. I felt so bad for him. She was asking him to smile and he was out of it. I asked her to please leave him alone and told her no more pictures. When I left the hospital room to get something from the nurse, my DH and DD told me she kept video taping and put it away quick as I opened the door to come back in! Finally, I caught her doing it again and I told her that if she continued, I would ask her to leave. there are many things she does that I am not on the same page on, but I do not impose my beliefs on her UNLESS it has to do with my kids. She actually called me yesterday and told me that I was rude to cancel due to her need to take my dd to her house. She said she can't do it all my way. All I had asked was for her to babysit and MY house for 2-3 hours max. Does that seem like too much?
Am I losing it.. and becoming neurotic and overreacting?

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Old 01-31-2009, 01:15 PM   #2
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Re: Would you...

I'm not a mom to humans yet, but I'm like that about my pets. I would be INFURIATED is my in-laws (who always watch my dog when we go out of town) were to just open the door and let my dog out unattended and unfenced the way they do their own. They understand this, and we've never had an issue with them complying.

I don't think you're overreacting at all about not wanting your kid at her house. If she's not able to babysit otherwise, then fine, I'd think that's all she needs to say about it. If the electrician was coming at that time, though, I wouldn't be angry at her for not wanting to cancel what she had going on to accomodate me (wasn't sure if that's what you were asking or not).

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Old 01-31-2009, 02:53 PM   #3
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no, your not becoming neurotic/over-reacting imo. when it comes your lo's safety you can never be too safe
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:00 PM   #4
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these things would make me nervous too! It's NOT you being crazy
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:02 PM   #5
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nope not over reacting.... this is why when we move into mom and dads all breakables/ statues/ figurines and potential dangers are going in storage units/up high out of sight. mom and dad agree and dont think im neurotic
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:27 PM   #6
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I think you're just being a normal mom. Those things would concern me too. I would not feel comfy leaving my DS there either. Rather than make a big deal out of the way she does things I would just not ask her to babysit anymore since she obviously doesn't respect your choices as a mother. Hopefully you don't *need* her babysitting services.
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:47 PM   #7
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Quote:
let your 2 yr old or small child that does not swim be babysat at a house that does not have a gated pool? How about an unfriendly snappy dog, or construction going on? AND in addition to that a ton of breakables, a wrought iron stair cast, fire place with spikey things and brick near them, Stone sculptures on pedistals, and glass and crystal everywhere?
For me, alot of these depend.

Pool - Right now here any pools are taken down so it wouldn't be an issue. Even if they were up, if the person in charge is outside with the kid it wouldn't bother me if the pool wasn't gated. At 2 my kids didn't leave the house without me knowing they were leaving the house. Same if they were at someone else's house, they knew not to leave. If I had a child who was an excape artist, THEN I would have an issue with an ungated pool.

Dog - is the dog going to be around the child? Is your mom unwilling to put the dog outside, in a kennel, in a separate room while your child is there?

Construction IN the house? Depends where it is & what they're doing. Ie, A basement reno, wouldn't bother me.

Breakables - As long as your mom knew that if she did not put them away she was risking having something broken and that you would not replace it, then it wouldn't bother me. It isn't my stuff & if she doesn't want them broken she needs to either put them away or make sure the child doesn't grab them.

Wrought iron stairs - wouldn't bother me either.

Fireplace, are the spikey things up or out? Either could be dangerous, but wouldn't keep me from letting my child over there.

Sculputres - inside or out? Can they be pulled or are they very secure? If they're secure I wouldn't have a problem with them. If they're wobbly, then I would.

the glass & crystal go into the breakable category for me.

If your mom would be with your child at all times(in the same room), except naps, then I wouldn't have an issue with any of them. If she is one who'd let your child wander the entire house without wondering where she was then I'd be cautious.

I understand you're being cautious, BUT I can see your mom's point too. If you want her to babysit, part of it is going to have to be on her terms. She is having construction done & an electrician was coming. She HAD to be at home for that. I wouldn't have cancelled my other child's appt either becuase of it.
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:48 PM   #8
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Hell to the NO! LOL
Things happen.
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:56 PM   #9
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Boundaries. Find another sitter. She may be a fantastic grandma, but you're the parent. She should absolutely respect your wishes in regards to your children.
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Old 01-31-2009, 03:59 PM   #10
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Re: Would you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyMama0607 View Post
no, your not becoming neurotic/over-reacting imo. when it comes your lo's safety you can never be too safe
Quote:
Originally Posted by ardygurly View Post
these things would make me nervous too! It's NOT you being crazy
Quote:
Originally Posted by frogandtoad View Post
Boundaries. Find another sitter. She may be a fantastic grandma, but you're the parent. She should absolutely respect your wishes in regards to your children.
ITA!! Stand your ground, these are YOUR children and you have final say in anything and everything concerning their safety. IMO that is not a safe place for your children to be
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