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Old 02-04-2009, 08:45 AM   #1
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Moms of preemies, a quest for you

If you had a preemie how long did you wait until you let visitors (besides family) come over or take her out to see your friends? Our little girl was born at 34wks 6days & one of the hosp nurses advised me to not have her around a lot of ppl, which I totally agree with. My friends keep hinting they want to see her and there's just no way. They don't get that preemies are a bit more fragile than full term newborns not to mention I'm just not even up to it.

And, how did you discourage them from visiting? I'm going to put this on the Dr even tho she's not said anything (prob because i've not asked), but I plan to tell my friends that "The Dr outside of family visitors until...?"


SAHM to "Z" born 1/22/09~34w6d~3lbs 6oz
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Old 02-04-2009, 09:27 AM   #2
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

I don't have a premie, but a friend of mine has an 8 week old who was born about 5 weeks early I think. She was born in the middle of December, and they sat with us at church on Christmas eve. I believe she had just been released from the hospital the previous Monday. Generally, they don't mind bringing her out or having her over, but try to stay clear of sick people. IMO, I'd be a bit more cautious, but I guess it's whatever you're comfortable with.
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Old 02-04-2009, 09:39 AM   #3
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

We didn't bring Julia out in public until she was 8 weeks old. The dr told us she didnt want us taking her anywhere but if the necessity arose that we had to run to the store or something I had to put her in a sling or cover her up in the infant seat. No one was allowed to touch her or even look at her and I had to be in and out.....we never did that.
As far as taking her to family or having friends over.....we took to her DH's grandmothers and parents house. If anyone was exposed to illness we didn't go over. If they were sick we certaintly didn't go over. We only let 2 or 3 of our friends over. When they came in they had to take off their shoes at the door, use hand sanitizer, go wash their hands and then were able to hold her but they had to leave her swaddled and were not allowed to kiss her.
Don't be afraid to stand your ground. Its your have to deal with it when the baby gets sick etc..... If people dont like it or understand then too bad. Don't worry about hurt feelings at this point......your the mommy and its your responsibility to protect that little one as much as you can. When ppl asked to come over we would just explain that we weren't recieving visitors since the baby's immune system was still week and she was at an increased risk of getting sick.
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Old 02-04-2009, 10:00 AM   #4
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

Congratulations on your little one!!!

DS was also a 34 weeker. Now he's a bouncing 2 1/2 year old!!!

Trust your instincts. I always put it on the doctor too.

But - we did allow friends and family to visit. We requested that they not have been around anyone with a cold and told them in advance that they'd be required to purrell before going anywhere near the baby.

We're due in March, but will probably end up with another preemie. We'll definately not be going anywhere for a long time with her too ... Henry didn't go in public (i.e. a restaurant, grocery store, church, you name it) until he was 10 months old.

We were (and still are somewhat) a bit overprotective. But then again, while he did great in the NICU, his first year he was sick lots and lots - some of which I believe was due to his preemieness, some of which was just due to poor genetics (DH and I were sick often as children too).

Again though, HUGE CONGRATS!!!!!
Alice, non-crunchy expat, living life as a mom, a hausfrau and survivor of preeclampsia and postpartum depression
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Old 02-04-2009, 10:33 AM   #5
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

If you are not comfortable having lots of people around then definately say the DR told you that she shouldn't be around anyone but immediate family. Whenever I want something done my way with DS I say "Well, the Dr said..."
Emily....Proud wife of Drew, mother to Kole (8/07), Chase (7/09), Ansley (4/11), and Avery and Camden (10/13)
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Old 02-04-2009, 01:26 PM   #6
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

I have two 33 week babies. My first one was born in April, and April in GA the flu season is over pretty much...I brought her out right away.

My DS was born in August, and I was more cautious even though it's really hot in AUgust..I was okay at the end of the summer but as soon as people started getting coughs and colds, and flu, stomach bugs, etc...I started keeping him in much more. We're not hermits, but I'd feel horrible if DS got RSV or something else, so we stay a home a lot even with my 6 month old preemie. If I had a NEW newborn preemie right now, I wouldn't leave my house hardly and chance him getting sick.
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Old 02-04-2009, 01:39 PM   #7
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

I had 2 preemies, one was 34 weeks and 1 day and the other was 34 weeks and 2 days.

To be honest, my boys were born VERY VERY healthy. They were just incredibly small and had a hard time eating at first. When I was released I asked what restrictions there were on visiting and going places and they said that really there were no restrictions because the boys were so well off....I just needed to be smart. People had to wash their hands, stay away from sickies, etc...

I had the boys out and about the week we came home. Now no one but our parents were allowed to hold or touch them for many weeks, and I just kept them close to me in the sling.

I think too it matters if you are breastfeeding or ffing...only because bfing offers so many immunities and will offer a lot more protection in that area.
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Old 02-04-2009, 03:30 PM   #8
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

My oldest (now 7) was a 34 weeker. He's done great - and is off the charts when it comes to height - taller than most 9 year olds!

Anyway, he was born at the beginning of December. We tried keeping most people away for the first 6 weeks or so, but was still really cautious with him that first winter. We did go to my family's Christmas stuff, which I was really anxious about. He didn't catch anything, and I did have someone tell me how resilient newborns are - they will bounce right back! (this was in regards to me letting someone who was sick hold or be near my preemie). I snapped at her, and told her that the doctors told us that if he got sick, he would end up back in the hospital. I totally put it back on the doctors. Follow your gut feelings - that's the biggest thing I've learned. As the Mom, you really do know best.
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Old 02-04-2009, 03:34 PM   #9
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

My oldest was a 35 week preemie. He was in the NICU for 5 days and we had people visiting there. When we got home we had visitors pretty much right away. We never really took him out to show him off, everyone else just came to us.
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Old 02-04-2009, 03:35 PM   #10
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Re: Moms of preemies, a quest for you

I do not have experience with a preemie. Could you tell them that the Dr. says it's too early and the your DD needs more time? If they want to see her, is it possible for them to just stop by the house, not come in and see her through the window/door? That way they can see her, but they can't bring germs in. I would just say that as soon as the Dr. clears her for visitors, you will be happy to have visitors. And like I said if they want to see her in person, then they can see her through the window/door...but not any further.

Now, my sister was a preemie. She weighed 3lbs 14oz and from what I remember, my parents let everyone around her. But then again they had 6 other school age children and it was the middle of December. You are the parent. So what you do is your choice and no one else's!
Beth Wife to J , SAHM to DSS J (12/01) , Ju (01/08)and JE (12/09) and due with Baby J May 18, 2010
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