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Old 02-12-2009, 07:23 PM   #11
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

DH and I both have excellent life insurance and are in the process of getting everything in order (guadianship, trusts) in case it is ever needed. We also made sure that both sides of our family know what is to be done with our remains (our bodies are being donated)

We had been talking about it for some time, but didn't have the guardianship, wills and trust completely set up. After my sister passing suddenly in December and having to cope with our grief on top of making very tough decisions we knew we didn't want anyone else to be put in the same situation.

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Old 02-12-2009, 07:38 PM   #12
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

we both have generous life insurance policies and our will is set up although right now i have MIL taking custody of DD and i need to change that because i don't like her.

The will took an hour to do up and I'm so glad we have it done.
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Old 02-12-2009, 07:54 PM   #13
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

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Originally Posted by chelle0518 View Post
No. Pure and simple. Things would be an absolute trainwreck. I have tried to motivate him to get a will written up, but when we talk about it, we end up more confused than we were when we started. The whole idea of not having him here to handle the financial aspects scares the bewillikers out of me.
Just go see an attorney. It really doesn't cost that much and they will ask all the right questions and help guide you through the process. We did this this summer and it really opened my eyes to some things we hadn't thought/talked about.

Now to answer OP question. Yes I would be prepared financially and have all the appropriate documents in place. We lost my father-in-law this summer and it really was an eye-opening experience. It was the kick in the pants we needed to get all of our ducks in a row. I am also the one who handles our finances so I would know everything. However I do need to get going on putting together a document for DH with all of the accounts, usernames, etc so that he wouldn't have to figure it all out on his own.

I have now been nagging my entire family to get their stuff together so I don't have do deal with this ever again. We were very lucky that there were no disputes in regards to FIL's estate. It was very straight-forward and simple and yet still time consuming to deal with.

My number one suggestion is to make sure that beneficiaries are up-to-date. In our case FIL had not changed his when he and my MIL divorced and that could have been a mess. Luckily my MIL is the wonderful woman she is and filed for the policy and then gifted the money to my DH and my SIL since she knew this is what FIL would have wanted.

Sorry for the book but I was just dealing with some of this stuff today so it is on my mind.
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:05 PM   #14
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

No I would not and that scares the poopoo out of me. I'm not even sure if I'm on his life insurance or anything like that. Guess I need to start asking huh. Thanks for bringing this up.
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:20 PM   #15
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

although I don't like to think about it... yes, I am totally prepared if DH were to ie. He has a more than generous life insurance policy that is the equivalent of 13 years worth of his current pay. Plus our mortgage is in his name only and the debt is forgiven if he were to die, plus his job now has a seperate "one year of pay" thing they do also, not to mention SSI spouse & children benefit monthly checks... so I would basicaly be set totally until my children were out of the house.
He on the other hand will have a harder time if I were to die because my life insurance policy is only 1/4 of what his is.
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:34 PM   #16
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

We have talked about it, but we are not prepared at all. I'm terrified of it.
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:36 PM   #17
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

We are very ready, if he would go. I'm very nervous if I would go. We talk about it all the time, I feel it is SOOO important for the children. My husband does nothing with them except play. I am always telling him quick little things, it sounds morbid, but it is now a little joke between us. Just last night I called him into the babies room and told him, "When the kids have the sniffles they get this aromatharapy on their lovleys, I just want you to know." or "If something sould ever happen to me, wash really good behind their ears, they get a craddle cap thing." Lots of little things he has no idea that I do. I try to tell him 2-3 things a week. I would want things to be as normal as possible for the kids. I am their ONLY care giver.
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:48 PM   #18
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

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Originally Posted by domdandev View Post
We are very ready, if he would go. I'm very nervous if I would go. We talk about it all the time, I feel it is SOOO important for the children. My husband does nothing with them except play. I am always telling him quick little things, it sounds morbid, but it is now a little joke between us. Just last night I called him into the babies room and told him, "When the kids have the sniffles they get this aromatharapy on their lovleys, I just want you to know." or "If something sould ever happen to me, wash really good behind their ears, they get a craddle cap thing." Lots of little things he has no idea that I do. I try to tell him 2-3 things a week. I would want things to be as normal as possible for the kids. I am their ONLY care giver.
I do this too... glad to know I am not the only one I even quiz him on occassion to see if he knows what to do I often say things like "if I died this morning, what would you feed Aiden?" or "show me how to buckle this carseat correctly just in case I die and you actually have to buckle it one day!"
and I even wrote out VERY CLEAR instructions of how each of my babies were to be cared for in and out of the hospital as a part of my birth plans if somethign were to happen to me.
such as: the baby could NEVER be out of the sight/arms reach of either my DH or my mother, or other person appointed by my DH at ANY time whatsoever during the entire hospital stay, if the choice had to be made someone must go with the baby rather than me in an emergency, absolutely no formula.. only donor breastmilk/organic goat milk if I were dead, unconcious, or in a coma, and no vaxes... I signed it, had DH sign it, and the attending nurse and my doc signed it.

I must be super morbid!
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:52 PM   #19
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

i didn't read the blog. every time i ask my DH about life insurance he gets insulted and thinks i am wanting him to die and that i am after the money. it's really odd and i don't know why he thinks that way. low self esteem i guess.
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Old 02-12-2009, 09:04 PM   #20
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Re: Would you be prepared if DH died suddenly?

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I must be super morbid!
NOT morbid! Realistic and responsible, it happens, god forbid, but...it can happen.
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