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Old 02-14-2009, 09:24 AM   #1
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Switching daycare at 12 months?

I have a little dilemma I wanted to get some feedback on from other mommas:

My son is 11 months old and has been in daycare since he was about 4 months. The first daycare he was in (and in home one) the provider put him to sleep on his stomach and had more kids than she was licensed for, so we pulled him out after a month. The new provider is much better than the first, although pretty much every day she tells us how we are doing things wrong and what we should be doing instead (she is more old school, cry-it-out, don't spoil them and we are closer to the attachment parenting side of things). She's also a huge scheduler, and our son really doesn't do schedules well (although ROUTINES are good). A couple of weeks ago she told me we might be overfeeding him because he had 3 poopy diapers in one day! But I digress...

Anyway, we're pretty much annoyed with her and would like to switch to a new provider we found. When we gave our current provider notice she got all upset that this is "the worst possible time to switch" and that "if we could just wait one more month it would be better". So we had a sit down with her and talked through things, and it mainly illustrated the fact that she and we have totally different parenting styles so we said we were still planning on leaving. Now yesterday I got a note from her saying again to "just give it one more month".

I am very nervous about the switch and do worry a lot about him being alone in a new daycare with a person he doesn't know very well, but we do plan on making the transition slowly and will do all we can to make it easier for him. My question is: is it really that bad of a time to consider switching daycare (at right around 12 months), or is our current provider just being an alarmist and freaking us out for no good reason?

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Old 02-14-2009, 09:29 AM   #2
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

I would suspect that she has her own reasons for wanting him to stay and that they are probably financial. My last daycare provider did that to us, she claimed that I had to keep DD in an extra month because I didn't give her a month's notice... I gave her 30 days notice! She clained she needed the extra time to fill the vacancy.

As far as the age goes, I have never heard of having to wait until 12 months to switch daycares. Why? What is different about 12 months? If you like this other daycare, I say go for it. We had to switch daycares too right around then because we moved and dd was fine with it (I think she was 13 months, though)
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Old 02-14-2009, 01:50 PM   #3
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

Quote:
Originally Posted by slherrma View Post
I have a little dilemma I wanted to get some feedback on from other mommas:

My son is 11 months old and has been in daycare since he was about 4 months. The first daycare he was in (and in home one) the provider put him to sleep on his stomach and had more kids than she was licensed for, so we pulled him out after a month. The new provider is much better than the first, although pretty much every day she tells us how we are doing things wrong and what we should be doing instead (she is more old school, cry-it-out, don't spoil them and we are closer to the attachment parenting side of things). She's also a huge scheduler, and our son really doesn't do schedules well (although ROUTINES are good). A couple of weeks ago she told me we might be overfeeding him because he had 3 poopy diapers in one day! But I digress...

Anyway, we're pretty much annoyed with her and would like to switch to a new provider we found. When we gave our current provider notice she got all upset that this is "the worst possible time to switch" and that "if we could just wait one more month it would be better". So we had a sit down with her and talked through things, and it mainly illustrated the fact that she and we have totally different parenting styles so we said we were still planning on leaving. Now yesterday I got a note from her saying again to "just give it one more month".

I am very nervous about the switch and do worry a lot about him being alone in a new daycare with a person he doesn't know very well, but we do plan on making the transition slowly and will do all we can to make it easier for him. My question is: is it really that bad of a time to consider switching daycare (at right around 12 months), or is our current provider just being an alarmist and freaking us out for no good reason?
Worst possible time for her or for you LO? I don't think one month will make a big difference in terms of you LO adjusting to the change. If you have gievn her sufficient notice I don't think there is any reason for you to keep your LO in a place you are uncomfortable with for the sake of her finances.

I don't believe anything in a child's development is as black and white as "start this and this time". Every child is different, and there is no right or wrong age to do ANYTHING. It all depends on the child.

Last edited by kaimon; 02-14-2009 at 01:53 PM.
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Old 02-14-2009, 03:37 PM   #4
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

I work in daycare and have to say that is just silly. There is no perfect time to switch...it is hard and they get through it. Usually better and faster than we expect them to transition they are there and over it. Go for it!
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Old 02-14-2009, 05:26 PM   #5
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

I also work in a daycare and I say go for it. In many big daycares, 12 months is when the babies move from the baby area to the toddler area, which is as much of a change for them as from one daycare to another, really. With a gradual transition period, he should be fine!
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Old 02-14-2009, 05:35 PM   #6
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

I am pretty sure that it's better timing for her, not your child.

As someone mentioned - in larger daycares... they start transitioning infants into the toddler room around this time.

My daughter's daycare has 4 rooms - infants, wobblers, toddlers and multi-age.

My daughter transitioned from infants to wobblers when she was 16 months old. She'd have done it sooner, but the room was filled to capacity and they had to wait 'til a spot opened up for her. Wobblers are anywhere from 13 months to 2.5 years old - they start transitioning into the Toddler room around 26-27 months.
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Old 02-14-2009, 08:29 PM   #7
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

My friend's daycare center's rooms are 0-12 months, 12-24 months, so at her center, you'd be moving right now. If you aren't comfortable, he shouldn't go there one more day than he has to.
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Old 02-14-2009, 09:21 PM   #8
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

Sounds like she is looking out for #1. It is not like anything is going to change for you in one months time. Her care style is carved in stone from the sounds of it. She is not going to change in one month and your son is not adjusting to her plus you don't even like her overall so the sooner the better. It stinks that you are having to go thru this but it should be for the best once your son adjusts. I have had to ask one of the parents at my daycare to remove their son because their parenting style did not match with my care style so it goes both ways. In our case, he was getting entirely spoiled. I am a supplement to his parents care and training, not a replacement for it. Good luck to you.
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Old 02-14-2009, 09:32 PM   #9
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Re: Switching daycare at 12 months?

I totally agree that he should be fine. At the daycare that DD went to, they had rooms for 0-6 mos, 6-12 mos, and 12-24 mos, etc. Life is full of adjustments...some we choose and some we don't have any control over. I think your LO will be just fine. The are more resilient than we give them credit for...trust me. In DS's first 13 months, we've had to move twice...two different states! The transition was much harder on our 4 year old. DS knew stuff was up; it just didn't bother him so much. Good luck mama.
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