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Old 02-18-2009, 10:14 AM   #1
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Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

My son has always been a horrible sleeper. But it was getting better. For about a month. He's 10.5 months old. He would get up every 2 hours to eat and then need to be rocked to sleep. It sucked but it was doable. A month ago he started sleeping 3 hours and not wanting to eat. It was heaven! Well, now for the past month or so he has been horrible.

He goes down at 8:00. sleeps for 1.5 hours gets up. I put him down and he sleeps until 11:30ish. Then he won't go back to sleep really. He just thrashes and cries. It's like we're doing him this horrible disservice by having the audacity to sleep next to him. But if we try to move and give him a bigger space he freaks out because he wants us touching him. It makes NO sense whatsoever. This continues until 5:00. I spend hours a night crying while my son thrashes around and hits me, scratches me (he likes to try to hold on to my boobs like with his fingernails!). he is NOT in pain, he is NOT teething. This is just how he is.

We've coslept since birth. I formula feed due to IGT. I tried to get him in his own bed (in our room) and he hated it. His constant waking is waking everyone in our family. My 2 yr old has a bed in our room.

My DH tried to CIO with him at about 8 months and he cried for 5 min. and then was so upset DH freaked out and pulled him out. I'm VERY anti CIO so I was not happy with this, but understood DH's need for sleep. At this point I'm willing to try anything. I'm going to buy a white noise machine too.

The thing is, I'm so tired I'm getting sick constantly. I cant focus. I can't parent my son and I suck at parenting Leif because I'm so tired. I am becoming extremely resentful of him. Last night I even thought I didn't love him. Which isn't true but I hate those thoughts.

Please help me. We're totally desperate here. Thank you.

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Old 02-18-2009, 10:35 AM   #2
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

Awww, mama. I know that feeling!

8pm is kind of a late bedtime for a child that age...I would suggest putting him down earlier. And, get yourself and DS into a bedtime routine.

Ours is:
Dinner, bath, story, snuggle...BED!

We co-slept for a few months as well but the thrashing, constant moving wasn't working for us. I'd say move him into a crib/playpen when he can see you. Even if its right next to your bed. Reassure him that you're there, etc.
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:59 AM   #3
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

DS didn't want to sleep on his own but cosleeping wasn't working for us (him included) either. I got a twin mattress, put it on the floor, slept with him there for a few weeks, would roll away when I thought I could. It was better b/c dh could sleep and I slept more, or so I thought.

What about a humidifier w/ lavender eo in it? A sachet of chamomile? Do research on this, but I have been told that babies can have chamomile tea. I never did, but considered giving it to ds before bed. The past few nights I have given dc turkey for dinner and they seem to be sleeping better. DS also sleeps for longer stretches (or wakes and I don't know about it) if we have classical music playing. He also likes the room rather warm.

Could he be waking b/c of a wet diaper? DS will go in and out of sleep if his diaper is wet. I've come to the conclusion it is just easier to keep up with the diaper changes even at night.

I've also found that being able to lay them down drowsy for daytime naps means I can usually/sometimes lay them down drowsy at night. It took several weeks to get there. I stayed home most of the time so that we could be consistent with nap time. Once the routine was established, I have been able to leave either w/ dc or w/o them.

Hope it gets better soon. It has too.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:02 AM   #4
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

Thank you so much. I'll look into all of that.

The late bed time was because he would be sleeping unti 9:30 am because he was so tired NOBODY is getting good sleep.

Right now his crib is in our room, but he just sits there and screams at me. I am able to lay him down awake for naps sometimes if I'm not in there. I'll just say "Night night!!" and lay him down, turn on his little aquarium and then leave. He'll fuss (NOT cry) for like 2 min then go to sleep. Should I be trying this at night too? It doesn't work all the time for naps but sometimes.

Maybe if I kept DS1 out until Leif was asleep, then brought him in (he's quiet) he'd go to bed.

I'd love them both to have 7:00 bed times....Rune does and it's awesome.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:10 AM   #5
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

I don't really have any suggestions other than the white sound machine which helps dull sounds to those who are sleeping. I have found that I miss it if it is off....However, we are having just as many sleep issue with my son. He is 22 months old and has been giving me fits at bed time. And, I dream of the day when he sleeps through the night. So, just commiseration, understanding, and hoping it gets better soon for the both of us.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:30 AM   #6
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

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Originally Posted by ShyDaisi View Post
I don't really have any suggestions other than the white sound machine which helps dull sounds to those who are sleeping. I have found that I miss it if it is off....However, we are having just as many sleep issue with my son. He is 22 months old and has been giving me fits at bed time. And, I dream of the day when he sleeps through the night. So, just commiseration, understanding, and hoping it gets better soon for the both of us.
Oh, totally, Mama!

My first was so easy. He slept through the night at 3 months, then we moved him into his own bed at 18 months by just saying "you're in your own bed now" and he was all "okay" and that was it. Now he lays in his race car bed, and sleeps. That's it.

I really am upset because all of this is making DH not want anymore kids. He'd promised me 1 more, and I was going to talk him into 2 more, but now he's saying he doubts he could handle 1 more with these issues. AND I cant get pregnant again until he's sleeping well. And I wanted to get pregnant in a few months
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:56 AM   #7
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

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Oh, totally, Mama!

My first was so easy. He slept through the night at 3 months, then we moved him into his own bed at 18 months by just saying "you're in your own bed now" and he was all "okay" and that was it. Now he lays in his race car bed, and sleeps. That's it.

I really am upset because all of this is making DH not want anymore kids. He'd promised me 1 more, and I was going to talk him into 2 more, but now he's saying he doubts he could handle 1 more with these issues. AND I cant get pregnant again until he's sleeping well. And I wanted to get pregnant in a few months
Oh I can totally relate to that TTC thing too! I had JUST convinced DH to have another and then DS went totally bonkers and quit sleeping through the night.

I brought up TTC to DH the other day, and he said...are you nuts?? I don't want to discuss it!!!

I'm going to wait until DS starts sleeping through the night again, lol. He made it from 7pm to 5am last night

Anyway, yeah, I would try the nap strategy at night. I know you're against the CIO, but what about a gradual CIO? Like he cries for a few mins, you go an comfort, then leave. Come back in after a few if he's still crying etc. So he knows he's not alone, but he also gets the message that he's got to go to sleep?
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:05 PM   #8
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

Thank you. I know it sounds bad but at this point I dont care if he cries or not It's getting so bad.

I bought him some baby sleepy time tea today, and new batteries for his "fish tank". I have NO idea how to CIO, so I guess I'll just go by what's natural? I keep thinking to myself, pioneer women couldn't have put up with this. what did they do with their babies?
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:55 PM   #9
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

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Thank you. I know it sounds bad but at this point I dont care if he cries or not It's getting so bad.

I bought him some baby sleepy time tea today, and new batteries for his "fish tank". I have NO idea how to CIO, so I guess I'll just go by what's natural? I keep thinking to myself, pioneer women couldn't have put up with this. what did they do with their babies?
Google the Ferber Method. Also called Graduated Extinction.

I'm not a huge fan of CIO either, but seriously, if that's what it takes to make everyone healthy and happy, including your baby who is probably also suffering from lack of sleep, then so be it!
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:03 AM   #10
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Re: Please help me, lack of sleep is killing us...

Instead of trying a later bedtime, try an earlier bedtime. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's true of my DS#1 -- if he's very tired, he sleeps LESS well.

Have you tried No Cry Sleep Solution?
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