Diaper Swappers

Treighsie · 02-22-2009, 06:12 AM

Hi there.
I can't remember if I ever posted in here about my DS Colby. He is almost 8 years old. For 7 1/2 years he was the baby...and then along came youngest DS. And Colby has definitely had a hard time adjusting. I KNOW he's jealous and we're trying to work on it. Problem is DH hasn't been around much since the baby was born (stupid crazy work schedule) and so it's been all on me and very hard.
Well, DH is kinda back to a normal schedule and been helping...

Problem is... Colby gets VERY upset very easily... and has terrible tantrums/moods.
BUT-- he also says he wants to kill himself. He has said it about 10 times now.
Once, he said he was going to go outside so he could freeze to death.
Then, he just said he wants to kill himself.

Last night, he actually said "Where's a knife? I need one so I can stab myself in the heart".

Seriously, he is a cute little boy. But he's SCARING me. It scared DH last night too. I don't know if he just heard it somewhere, but there is NO REASONING with him when he's in that mood. And anything can set him off. Last night it was asking him to pick up his clothes, and then we got an awful awful little boy for almost 3 hours.
He screams, cries, stomps, talks back... you name it. He blatantly just says "no" when we tell him to do something. Then mocks us, like we say clean your stuff or you lose TV privileges and he says "Yeah, whatever" it jut makes us so angry! Seriously, I could hurt him, but I don't ...
It's wearing on me...

Wondering if this is something he should see the dr for? I mean, the wanting to kill himself. He just says it so often now. Twice last night.

Please help me find my darling boy again.

EmsMom · 02-22-2009, 06:48 AM

I would absolutely take him in. Jealousy is one thing but that is way too much for a child that young. Think of what could happen in a couple of years if this doesn't get dealt with.

EmsMom · 02-22-2009, 06:49 AM

I would absolutely take him in. Jealousy is one thing but that is way too much for a child that young. Think of what could happen in a couple of years if this doesn't get dealt with.

nethridge · 02-22-2009, 07:04 AM

I'm having a hard time understanding what an actual MD would do, besides drug him. Sounds like he is having a hard time adjusting to the baby. He probably needs to see a counselor, before anything else.
Have you actually sat down to have him tell you how he's feeling about being a big brother? It sounds like he's desperate for attention.

Kendalyn · 02-22-2009, 08:21 AM

I would first try increasing the amount of one-on-one attention he gets. Have DH take one afternoon or evening a week and do something just with him. See if you can increase the time you spend with him without the baby and try to be more encouraging with him. Make a point to single out the good things he does no matter how small they might seem some days.

You seem to see a correlation between this behavior and the birth of your other child and you are probably right. No doctor will help that beyond drugging him into a stupor.

Also, how do you respond to your son when he says he wants to kill himself? If it's getting him attention, it's no wonder he keeps it up. I would also try completely ignoring it even though I'm sure it's hard.

rvela · 02-22-2009, 08:30 AM

It seems like he is having a hard time adjusting but I think there's more than meets the eye. Is it possible he's having trouble at school or with friends?? Suicidal thoughts should not be dealt with lightly. Take him to the DR. Ask for a referral to a psych/counselor. If they offer meds and you are not interested in that course of treatment - then don't have him take them and go to another DR. I'm sorry you're going through this Mama. It sounds like a very difficult situation

Guardandolaluna · 02-22-2009, 08:31 AM

I would not take a chance. I would definitely contact your pediatrician to have him evaluated, it could be depression or it could be nothing. I would try counseling before any kind of prescription intervention because I always worry about dr.s wanting to just medicate

But he is your baby and it is good to have him safe as well as your other children.

WhatWasIThinking · 02-22-2009, 10:33 AM

I would take him in.

Treighsie · 02-22-2009, 10:51 AM

Thanks mamas. I definitely don't want to medicate him... but he scares me when he says these things. Makes me wonder if he knows what he's REALLY saying, and if he would actually try something??
We are trying to spend more time with him... but in the meantime, I think I will call and ask for a referral.

babygirlsmom1005 · 02-22-2009, 06:33 PM

I think speaking with the pedi about his behaviour and also talking about a referal to possiably a play thearpist would be a good thing. They work a little differently than a physc. (don't do meds and such) and can help kids with anger management and can also get them to open up. Good luck!!!

02-22-2009, 06:12 AM	#1
Treighsie Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,415 Ratings: 68 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Should I call the doctor? What would YOU do? Hi there. I can't remember if I ever posted in here about my DS Colby. He is almost 8 years old. For 7 1/2 years he was the baby...and then along came youngest DS. And Colby has definitely had a hard time adjusting. I KNOW he's jealous and we're trying to work on it. Problem is DH hasn't been around much since the baby was born (stupid crazy work schedule) and so it's been all on me and very hard. Well, DH is kinda back to a normal schedule and been helping... Problem is... Colby gets VERY upset very easily... and has terrible tantrums/moods. BUT-- he also says he wants to kill himself. He has said it about 10 times now. Once, he said he was going to go outside so he could freeze to death. Then, he just said he wants to kill himself. Last night, he actually said "Where's a knife? I need one so I can stab myself in the heart". Seriously, he is a cute little boy. But he's SCARING me. It scared DH last night too. I don't know if he just heard it somewhere, but there is NO REASONING with him when he's in that mood. And anything can set him off. Last night it was asking him to pick up his clothes, and then we got an awful awful little boy for almost 3 hours. He screams, cries, stomps, talks back... you name it. He blatantly just says "no" when we tell him to do something. Then mocks us, like we say clean your stuff or you lose TV privileges and he says "Yeah, whatever" it jut makes us so angry! Seriously, I could hurt him, but I don't ... It's wearing on me... Wondering if this is something he should see the dr for? I mean, the wanting to kill himself. He just says it so often now. Twice last night. Please help me find my darling boy again. __________________ Tracy--- Married to Art since 9-18-99 Mommy to Samantha (2-12-97)Will (3-25-99) Colby (5-7-01) and Owen (10-8-08) Earn gift cards with Swagbucks http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=266245

02-22-2009, 06:48 AM	#2
EmsMom Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario Posts: 1,509 Ratings: 7 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Should I call the doctor? What would YOU do? I would absolutely take him in. Jealousy is one thing but that is way too much for a child that young. Think of what could happen in a couple of years if this doesn't get dealt with. __________________ Kirsten ~ Mom to 8yr old Emily and 6yr oldJ.T.

02-22-2009, 06:49 AM	#3
EmsMom Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario Posts: 1,509 Ratings: 7 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Should I call the doctor? What would YOU do? I would absolutely take him in. Jealousy is one thing but that is way too much for a child that young. Think of what could happen in a couple of years if this doesn't get dealt with. __________________ Kirsten ~ Mom to 8yr old Emily and 6yr oldJ.T.

02-22-2009, 07:04 AM	#4
nethridge Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 648 Ratings: 15 Feedback: 100%	Re: Should I call the doctor? What would YOU do? I'm having a hard time understanding what an actual MD would do, besides drug him. Sounds like he is having a hard time adjusting to the baby. He probably needs to see a counselor, before anything else. Have you actually sat down to have him tell you how he's feeling about being a big brother? It sounds like he's desperate for attention. __________________ Wife (married 4/11/05), and proud anti-circ, anti-vax, natural birthing, CDing Mama to Baby Cannon(2/16/08) Sometimes I blog.

02-22-2009, 08:21 AM	#5
Kendalyn Registered Users Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Kalamazoo, MI Posts: 272 My Mood:	Re: Should I call the doctor? What would YOU do? I would first try increasing the amount of one-on-one attention he gets. Have DH take one afternoon or evening a week and do something just with him. See if you can increase the time you spend with him without the baby and try to be more encouraging with him. Make a point to single out the good things he does no matter how small they might seem some days. You seem to see a correlation between this behavior and the birth of your other child and you are probably right. No doctor will help that beyond drugging him into a stupor. Also, how do you respond to your son when he says he wants to kill himself? If it's getting him attention, it's no wonder he keeps it up. I would also try completely ignoring it even though I'm sure it's hard. __________________ Mom to 2 dogs and 3 cats. Foster mom to various dogs, cats, kittens and puppies. TTC #1 after m/c on 01/30/2009 Last edited by Kendalyn; 02-22-2009 at 08:24 AM.