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Old 02-24-2009, 09:22 AM   #11
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

I haven't had this yet, my DD just doesn't listen. We do spank and I don't believe there is anything wrong with how we discipline. But, it sounds like you want to resort to venting through spanking. I really feel like anger should stop you from spanking. If I ever feel myself getting frustrated/upset I know that spanking at that point won't help.
My advice is to take a quick break. Then come back and explain exactly what you want done, I have to be very specific with my DD. Then, tell them the consequence, ie taking toys away that aren't picked up. Also, let them know that the attitude has to be positive, no sassing.
Recently, DD didn't want to clean her room. I got out a big plastic tub and put it in her room. I set an alarm for 30 min and told her when it goes off, anything not put away goes into the tub and taken away for a week. The first time, she had a half full tub of toys taken away. The next time I told her to pick up, she was faster than she's ever been- with no attitude.
GL!

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Old 02-24-2009, 09:34 AM   #12
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

no soap mama! I did this to DD and regreted it so much. There are other ways to curb the behavior. Maybe use a sticker chart or take things away???
Try to keep in perspective the spanking thing....take a time out and get a handle on your feelings. Its not ok to spank because YOU are angry.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:49 AM   #13
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

I understand you about feeling so frustrated, mama - but you are the adult. You have to find a way to cope and teach and model respect. Spanking is not that way, no matter what, IMO - and spanking to discipline with any item that is not your hand is considered (at least in my state) assault. Please don't hurt your children.

You've gotten some good advice already - and I would add you have to be prepared to say and do the same things over and over and over and over and over again before it sinks in and makes a difference, perhaps. That's in my limited experience, but patience and persistence DO pay off.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:31 AM   #14
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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Originally Posted by Maddie&Jake'sMom View Post
Using an object to hit a child is abuse. Sorry if that offends.

If you went out and hit someone for being mean to you with an object, you'd be arrested for assault.

But hey, its okay for kids....your own BABIES.

Another thread on this forum that just makes me so terribly sad.
Geez, she didn't do it. Can you not understand her frustration?

SS Mama! I'm going through that a little, too. I'm hoping that if I'm consistent with being letting them know it's disrespectful and not allowed to talk to me that way they'll quit. I think kids just need to test boundaries once in awhile. I would suggest telling your son that if he chooses to talk back, he can spend some alone time in his bedroom.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:40 AM   #15
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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Geez, she didn't do it. Can you not understand her frustration?

SS Mama! I'm going through that a little, too. I'm hoping that if I'm consistent with being letting them know it's disrespectful and not allowed to talk to me that way they'll quit. I think kids just need to test boundaries once in awhile. I would suggest telling your son that if he chooses to talk back, he can spend some alone time in his bedroom.
I was talking to those PPs who suggested using a spoon. NOT the OP.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:42 AM   #16
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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Originally Posted by Maddie&Jake'sMom View Post
Using an object to hit a child is abuse. Sorry if that offends.

If you went out and hit someone for being mean to you with an object, you'd be arrested for assault.

But hey, its okay for kids....your own BABIES.

Another thread on this forum that just makes me so terribly sad.
Big huge ditto.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:43 AM   #17
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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I am seriously ticked off right now.

My kids have started yelling at me, and backtalking. About EVERYTHING.

So, DS, 5 yr old, is in kindergarten. I can only assume that is where he has learned to speak like this, since he doesn't watch t.v. and no one else in his life does....

Frequently he will mouth off... like I say "Time to pick up toys for bed." And as soon as I am halfway across the room he will say in a really snotty voice "Certainly not." That was tonight.

Well, yesterday it was "I'm going to give you a swift kick."

Now, these may sound adult-like, but I can assure you, they're not. Unless they're from his kindergarten teacher, which I doubt. He's never heard that from us, that's for sure!

So, what he does is say these things really meanly, snottily, and then get his brother to start repeating them. Then they both run around mouthing off.... you know, just being downright disrespectful to me. Anything I say, they mouth off to. Usually DS 5.5, followed by DS 2.5, but lately DS 2.5 starts it!

So I'm fed up! No amount of talking with them about how to speak, being respectful, lengthy time outs, or even yelling at them has stopped this.

Finally tonight, I told DS 5.5 that I have had it with him being disrespectful to me. I told him that if he talks to me like that one more time, I will get the spanking spoon and spank his bottom.

(We used to spank. We stopped a few months ago. BUT- I am really really wanting this behavior to STOP NOW. It is inappropriate, embarrassing, and sets a terrible example for little brothers.)

Someone tell me not to wash this child's mouth out with soap and give him a good sound spanking!
there is nothing wrong with spanking if you keep your self control!! We spank our ds- once for every year he is. It works better than time out, taking toys away, etc. Kids need to realize there are consequences to their misbehavior. If they dont learn that now, they never will and will be misbehaving all thier lives.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:43 AM   #18
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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there is nothing wrong with spanking if you keep your self control!! We spank our ds- once for every year he is. It works better than time out, taking toys away, etc. Kids need to realize there are consequences to their misbehavior. If they dont learn that now, they never will and will be misbehaving all thier lives.
omg.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:46 AM   #19
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

ElToAnCy- GREAT answer!

We are just entering this phase and it is very rough! I have no problem with spanking, though we haven't really used it with DD yet. And no, it is not child abuse when done for correctional purposes and not out of frustration. I'm with other mommas who suggest taking away priviledges first- that usually gets their attention. Besides, your oldest at 5 yo is almost too old for spanking, you know? Anyways, I find that reasoning with my 18 mo is useless.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:47 AM   #20
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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I was talking to those PPs who suggested using a spoon. NOT the OP.
A "spanking spoon" was mentioned in the OP.
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