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Old 02-24-2009, 11:51 AM   #21
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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there is nothing wrong with spanking if you keep your self control!! We spank our ds- once for every year he is. It works better than time out, taking toys away, etc. Kids need to realize there are consequences to their misbehavior. If they dont learn that now, they never will and will be misbehaving all thier lives.
wow. just wow.

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Old 02-24-2009, 12:05 PM   #22
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!



Consequences are being hit/spanked whatever you want to call it.. that's what we want them to learn?

ok to use spoons to spank with?



My DS 1 was swatted one time by me at about 3 yo for running in the street in front of a car. Even then I felt horrible for it but wanted him to know that was not ok due his life being involved.
So I'm not innocent in the spanking dept. I've done it once. But for the reasons being given I just can't see how it's justified or fair. Sorry my
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:11 PM   #23
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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A "spanking spoon" was mentioned in the OP.
And I was talking to the posters who said "Its okay, we use a spanking spoon".
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:22 PM   #24
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

Take a deep breath mama.

As far as this situation goes it sounds like you've made some changes to your parenting lately,and it sounds like you'd like to stick to those changes.So I would definitely recommend finding something he values and take it away if he doesn't change his attitude.Very simple cause and effect.
I see that you're trying that with time outs,but some kids are more attached to a possession than time with family.
My older son is in Gr.1 and I've found his attitude has changed since he went to school in the fall-we skipped Kindergarten.He's way more mouthy and disrespectful. It makes me very angry at times,too.I find that I've had to ground him from being able to go to friend's houses,taken away books or toys and sometimes that doesn't make any difference.I notice when he spends time away from school-like at Christmas break-he stops behaving like that.Soooooo frustrating!
Could you maybe speak to his teacher and ask if he/she has noticed anything unusual-is this a way he behaves at school also?

I hope you're able to find a solution mama-and you know you have other mamas to talk to if you find yourself overwhelmed.
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:30 PM   #25
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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Originally Posted by HobbyHouse View Post
there is nothing wrong with spanking if you keep your self control!! We spank our ds- once for every year he is. It works better than time out, taking toys away, etc. Kids need to realize there are consequences to their misbehavior. If they dont learn that now, they never will and will be misbehaving all thier lives.
wtf..
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:39 PM   #26
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

Don't get me wrong, I've seriously had to walk out of a room or laugh something off or else my kids would get karate chopped, but I feel like with every instance I get better at being the "adult" in the situation and just stay cool as a clam.

IMO (and I think this is what your asking for) Spanking, with anything, teaches kids that it's ok to hurt or physically inflict power on someone for misbehaving. It is also embarrassing to your child and to me, is just as disrespectful as his language towards you.

Now if my kids told me "I think certainly not" I'd probably heed it off with a "I think certainly so" and just leave it at that. But the other things, I'd sit him down and tell him that talk is disrespectful and if he doesn't "get it" ask him if he'd say it to his teacher or a police officer? (this works with my kids, they see the "institutional" setting in school where if they misbehave to the teacher, they see the principal etc...puts it into perspective a bit better and their teacher is also a neutral person, not mommy and they'd maybe feel a little more comfortable testing the waters with you vs. a teacher or police man.)

I'd also tell him (maybe as pathetically possible) that this talking back hurts mommy's feelings, that he wouldn't like you talking like that to him, it would hurt him too.
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:46 PM   #27
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

I don't have experience with the mouthing-off stuff (discussing it works well with our 3-year-old), but with toys left out my dad would just tell us anything left out in the living room when we went to bed was his. It would go in a box in his room until he decided to give it back. After a day or two the toys always got picked up at bedtime
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:30 PM   #28
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

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Originally Posted by HobbyHouse View Post
there is nothing wrong with spanking if you keep your self control!! We spank our ds- once for every year he is. It works better than time out, taking toys away, etc. Kids need to realize there are consequences to their misbehavior. If they dont learn that now, they never will and will be misbehaving all thier lives.
Wow. I feel so sorry for your child.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:05 PM   #29
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!

I have been in your shoes and I can totally sympathize with what you are feeling.

If you spank your child and the behavior stops, it is only because your child is afraid of the pain of future spankings. I'd much rather my child obey me because they actually respect me and want to make me happy.

To those people who spank: if it works so well, why do you have to keep doing it? Using an object or putting something in a child's mouth are barbaric.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:08 PM   #30
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Re: grrr.... I want to SPANK my kids!!!



This is going to get ugly....
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