I am really disappointed with how unsupportive my friends are!!

[riandkymommy]

So I am pregnant right now with my 4th. I have nursed all of the kids, Riley for 15 months, Kyla for 20 months and Brenna for 18 months. I am going to nurse this baby as well and since we know for sure it is our last, I am going to soak up every minute of it!!

Some of my friends are planning a trip next fall to go away. I let them know that I would probably be bringing new baby with me if I were to go because he would still be nursing, he will only be just over a year! Even if he is not nursing (which is definitely not the plan, but sometimes things happen) he will be really young to leave for a pleasure trip IMHO. I got some grief because why can't I just plan to wean him before that, why do I have to nurse him for over a year? Why are they not more important than my baby type of thing. And even my friend who I tried to complain to said the same thing...she felt that I should just plan to wean him and go on the trip. It is not like this is the first time I have planned on nursing over a year so I don't understand why, because it is my last, people think I will want to wean sooner, to get myself back! They are big into going out and drinking (which I used to do before kids) and I haven't been able to do that for a while because I have had small children! My priorities are a little bit different!

I just wish that they would at least be supportive of me, even if it is not what they believe....I just feel jumped on. I never judge them for choosing not to nurse or not to nurse past a certain age, and I never would because it is a personal decision, but my parenting choices always seem to be under scrutiny. Late intro to solids, delayed and selective vax, semi-co-sleeping, CDing, not letting my kids cry it out...they are all against them and it is FRUSTRATING that they always jump on me, but I just live and let live...

OK turned into a longer rant than I meant it to, LOL! I guess I am just looking for a little support!!

[MommaRhi]

Do they have kids? I find that people that do not have kids, or that have kids but didn't nurse, just don't get it.

When you nurse, you cant just hand baby over to daddy and get on w/ your social life. Heck, I didnt even do that to my formula fed kids!

IMO, I wouldnt even go on the trip. Forget them!

[riandkymommy]

My one friend has a 4 year old who she nursed for 6 weeks, and my other friend has 2 boys who she nursed just to save money and hated every minute of it, I remember talking to her on the phone while she was nursing her son and her just talking about how gross it was...the rest of them do not have kids at all!! And I don't even know what is going on with us next year! DH is military! Um, hello, he might not even be home!! He goes to the sandbox this fall, so I don't even know how long he will be home and there is a chance we are posted after tour, so that would mean moving instead of a vacation...

It is annoying that when I say, "oh my mom will watch the kids so I can go to so an so's house" I get "oh good, so you can drink" UGH!!!!!!!!

[Riverdavidsmama]

Sorry, mama. Just stick to your guns. I don't let it get to me. You can always say something like "I don't/won't comment on the kind of mom you are/decide to be, so please don't comment on the kind of mom I choose to be."

My DS is 2.5 and I've never left him for more than 2 hours let alone overnight or for a trip (he's still nursing, but even if he wasn't). You're a good mama and I applaud you. It's hard having friends that aren't parents yet (or aren't the kind of parent that you are). Hugs.

[MommaRhi]

I can see why their nursing didn't last that long w/ those crappy attitudes!

[houseplantgirl]

From the other side of it, AND as a 100% pro-breastfeeding mama who also bf her 3 kids for over a year (last one for 19 months) and who also plans to bf the newbaby coming in July for at LEAST that long----it annoys me when we plan a GNO (girls night out) and someone brings a baby---and not just a tiny baby, that's fine, but a 10 month old or a year + old....hello!!! the POINT of a GNO is to get together AWAY from any kids/distractions, etc......leave the kid at home with hubby for 2 fareaking hours!!!!
(I realize your sitch is diff with a whole weekend away---and so maybe I'm just using your thread to vent too! LOL!)
But anyhoo----it's MY opinion that if you cannot leave your older babe who can eat table food at home for 2 hours, then DO NOT COME!!! heh.
(can you tell I'm dealing with this at this time??!?! heh)

Anyhoo----ok MY rant over---back to you----I think an entire weekend IS too long to leave a nursling----therefore I personally wouldn't go.
Just my 45 cents....hehe

[riandkymommy]

Oh I agree about the GNO....I don't bring my kids with me to GNO, if hubby isn't home, then I don't go! In fact, I normally don't go because I know that the ladies are there to get AWAY from their kids, not to hang out with mine! LOL! UNLESS it is something where the kids can come...for example, I had an Epicure party at my house 2 months ago, and people brought their kids because my hubby offered to entertain them all downstairs while we hung out upstairs! My one friend kept her 8 month old upstairs, because she cried when she saw my hubby, LOL!

Being that the majority of my friends are military spouses, we are used to the guys being away, and sometimes it is either bring the kids or no one can come! LOL!

[houseplantgirl]

ok, glad you 'got' what I was trying to get across---I was hoping to NOT offend you at all!! yay!

yah, tomorrow night is our church's GNO--movie night, wear your PJ's, eat popcorn, snuggle in your fav blankie--yanno?? But my hubbs is out of town, so I won't be able to go....I'm sooo not taking my kids! eep!!!
It stinks at times when our hubbies are unavailable to stay home with the kids and give us a break----but I just keep reminding myself that in, oh say 7 years, I'll be able to leave them home, since the oldest will be a teenager and able to watch his siblings (given enough incentive--aka $$$ LOL)
So till then, I just have to pick and choose what I can and can't go to.

We have a Thursday am get together, where we DO bring our kiddos--it's a wild chaotic time some weeks, but it's ok, we have our chatting time, our kiddos all get to play and it's all good.....heehee!!!

[happymama&wife]

Steph, Love our Thursday am group! Sometimes it is chaotic though!

Sorry for the little rabbit trail there.

I have a friend who is nursing her 10.5 month old. She is leaving for 4 days next month and is NOT weaning and is NOT bringing her baby. She eats some table food and my friend has enough milk stored up for the four days that she will be gone. While she is gone, she'll bring her pump and just pump and dump since she won't have anywhere to store the milk.

BUT the point of me telling you this is that, you could go on the trip for 2 days and still continue to nurse and not bring the LO. That is an option as well.

[houseplantgirl]

are you stalking me Kailee??? LOL!!!!
I love our Thursday am group too---when no one's kid gets hurt! haha.