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Old 03-14-2009, 10:20 PM   #11
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Re: Does it annoy you?

My BFF gets that ALL THE TIME with her triplets... And they were NOT fertility treatment babies... totally spontaneous fraternal triplets found at 12 weeks on ultrasound

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Old 03-14-2009, 11:20 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by i&a's mama View Post
Someone also once asked me if I wished one of them was a girl. Like boy/girl twins are better, too. So I guess my same-sex, assisted twins are the bottom of the barrel.
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I've thought this, too - that people think boy/girl twins are best. Several people have said things like "your poor husband" when they find out both of mine are girls.

LOL about the b/g twins. I have b/g twins. It annoys me too! I love both my kids and wouldn't change it, but I wanted b/b. My first choice (as if I had one ) was b/b, 2nd was g/g and 3rd was b/g. People used to look at me like I was crazy when they said, "Oh! b/g! I bet you are so happy to have one of each." and I'd say, "well, actually, I wanted 2 boys or 2 girls, but I'll take them anyway." (said totally with a smile because I totally love my babies.) B/G are a pain if you ask me. Same gender would be easier IMO. They could share clothes and I wouldn't always have to look for gender neutral stuff which usually ends up being boyish. My poor girl with 2 brothers. So, since we do use IVF and are going to be having more. I've put in my order. I would like twins again (since I want all our freezer babies to survive) and I am ordering g/g so my DD has a sister and I have same gender. God, are you listening?? It's me, Heather. (That's the name of a book title, with Margret instead of Heather, for anyone who doesn't know.)
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Old 03-15-2009, 09:56 PM   #13
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Re: Does it annoy you?

Yes!! It really annoys me! I have identical twin boys, and we did not use fertility treatments, but that is none of anybody's business. When people say, "Are they natural?" I want to say, "No, silicone. Oh wait... You mean the babies??"

And boy/girl twins are the best? Sheesh, who knew? :-P
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Old 03-16-2009, 08:01 AM   #14
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Re: Does it annoy you?

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When people say, "Are they natural?" I want to say, "No, silicone. Oh wait... You mean the babies??"
OMG -- I am pregnant with b/g twins right now -- c-section scheduled for 4/8, and you just made me laugh so hard I had to get up and waddle VERRRRRRY fast to the bathroom!

I am going to shamelessly steal that line and use it. I love it!!
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:39 AM   #15
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Re: Does it annoy you?

hi,
The most serious problem is that treatment can cause you to get pregnant with multiples (twins, triplets or more). Multiples are more likely to be premature (before 37 completed weeks of pregnancy). Premature babies are at risk of breathing, vision and hearing problems.
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:40 AM   #16
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Re: Does it annoy you?

This is prolly going to make a big stink. I am surprised soo many people get upset about this. I get asked those questions all the time. I figure it is a natural and healthy curiosity. Alot of people are either envious or fearful of ever having twins and I think they are considering natural propability in their heads. Why is this a "personal" question? What feeling arise when it is asked? I ask everyone I know, if they nurse their babies. That seems more personal and possibly offensive than this, but why is that even personal?? I realize, I may not understand the sensitivity cause I don't know what fertility treatments involve, but then most people don't. Is it something to be ashamed of? One way or another? I am just curious about how people live their lives and think that in some ways, to feel frustrated by a question is a sign of some shame or embarrasment. I am a wide open honest person and just honestly don't understand the issue? I mean do you get upset when people ask "are they twins" too? Really what bussiness is it of theirs??? It is just honest, usually friendly curiosity... I think.
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:42 AM   #17
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Re: Does it annoy you?

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OMG -- I am pregnant with b/g twins right now -- c-section scheduled for 4/8, and you just made me laugh so hard I had to get up and waddle VERRRRRRY fast to the bathroom!

I am going to shamelessly steal that line and use it. I love it!!
Ahh that is my B/G twins's bday!!! Yeah!!! how exciting for you.. I was begging someone to get those babies out at this point (last year)!!
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Old 03-18-2009, 11:40 AM   #18
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Re: Does it annoy you?

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This is prolly going to make a big stink. I am surprised soo many people get upset about this. I get asked those questions all the time. I figure it is a natural and healthy curiosity. Alot of people are either envious or fearful of ever having twins and I think they are considering natural propability in their heads. Why is this a "personal" question? What feeling arise when it is asked? I ask everyone I know, if they nurse their babies. That seems more personal and possibly offensive than this, but why is that even personal?? I realize, I may not understand the sensitivity cause I don't know what fertility treatments involve, but then most people don't. Is it something to be ashamed of? One way or another? I am just curious about how people live their lives and think that in some ways, to feel frustrated by a question is a sign of some shame or embarrasment. I am a wide open honest person and just honestly don't understand the issue? I mean do you get upset when people ask "are they twins" too? Really what bussiness is it of theirs??? It is just honest, usually friendly curiosity... I think.
I think if you knew what infertility felt like you may have a different opinion. It is a personal question because once someone asks you if you used fertility treatments and you decide to tell them you did they look and you and/or your children like they are abnormal or different and less special in some way. I guess it isn't the question so much that is the problem. It is the reaction to the answer.

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Yes!! It really annoys me! I have identical twin boys, and we did not use fertility treatments, but that is none of anybody's business. When people say, "Are they natural?" I want to say, "No, silicone. Oh wait... You mean the babies??"

And boy/girl twins are the best? Sheesh, who knew? :-P
I need to borrow that!
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Old 03-18-2009, 12:12 PM   #19
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Re: Does it annoy you?

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Originally Posted by naykeewabbits View Post
This is prolly going to make a big stink. I am surprised soo many people get upset about this. I get asked those questions all the time. I figure it is a natural and healthy curiosity. Alot of people are either envious or fearful of ever having twins and I think they are considering natural propability in their heads. Why is this a "personal" question? What feeling arise when it is asked? I ask everyone I know, if they nurse their babies. That seems more personal and possibly offensive than this, but why is that even personal?? I realize, I may not understand the sensitivity cause I don't know what fertility treatments involve, but then most people don't. Is it something to be ashamed of? One way or another? I am just curious about how people live their lives and think that in some ways, to feel frustrated by a question is a sign of some shame or embarrasment. I am a wide open honest person and just honestly don't understand the issue? I mean do you get upset when people ask "are they twins" too? Really what bussiness is it of theirs??? It is just honest, usually friendly curiosity... I think.
We don't have kids yet, but we are going through fertility treatments. We are at risk for multiples, and I have enjoyed reading this thread. It has made me think past my current situation.

Infertility hurts. So many people have questions/comments about infertility. They often are intrusive and inconsiderate. When we have our kids, I just want to be happy about having our children. They are blessings from God. Why can't people just be happy for us, and not pry into how they were conceived. It should not make a difference. A child is a child. I think bringing up fertility treatments just rubs in the fact that we had to use science to get our miracles. It also continues the barrage of questions/comments that we hope we left behind.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:11 PM   #20
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Re: Does it annoy you?

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I also get sick of the "double trouble" and "you have your hands full" comments. I'd much rather have strangers make more positive comments, like commenting on how lucky or blessed we are rather than saying we're in for double the trouble.
This one still gets to me. Maybe their kids were "trouble", but I feel nothing but blessed with mine.

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Someone also once asked me if I wished one of them was a girl. Like boy/girl twins are better, too. So I guess my same-sex, assisted twins are the bottom of the barrel.
When I was pg with my boys I met two other mama's pg with twins (we first "met" on an IF support website). We all had our babies within 4 months and would often go out together when we were on mat leave (now there's a situation with lots of stares and questions). Two of us had b/b twins and the other mama had b/g twins. You wouldn't believe how many people stopped us and told Tara that she was the lucky one. What?!

birdseye ~ Good luck! IF is extrememly difficult and noone can understand that unless they've gone through it. No matter how are children come to us, they are all blessings. Don't let other people's opinions bother you.
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