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Old 03-05-2009, 08:46 AM   #1
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Discipline help

DS is 2.5 and is testing every limit I have lately.

He gets in drawers to get into the candy on the counter no matter how many times I tell him no. I move the candy and he gets up there anyway to play with things on the counter that he *knows* he isn't supposed to touch.

Anything I ask him / tell him is "no" even if I give him a choice between X and Y.

I have tried time outs I have tried explain to him why the rules are there I have tried telling him they are SAME rules we have always had. I have tried "one two three"

What else is there?

I make sure he gets entertainment and exercise. I give him attention. He gets proper nutrition.

Help me? How do I get him to *listen* to me?

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Old 03-05-2009, 08:58 AM   #2
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Re: Discipline help

I just wanted to offer a to you mama. I don't have children of that age yet, so I am going to see what other mamas have to say. I am interested to see what techniques might work for that age. I never realized how much learning was involved into being a parent until I became one! I hope you get some good responces!
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:58 AM   #3
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Re: Discipline help

sonds like he's just seeing what happens when he challenges you... it's an important phase and I'm still going through it with my 3 1/2 yr old (who was great at 2 BTW). I think they really need the boundaries, so it's important to say no and be consistant... Distraction sometimes helps, or offering something different. For example if he really likes to climb maybe there is a different place he can climb instead. If you give him an alternative or something else equally as fun it might help. I'm still trying to figure out how much our LOs really comprehend at this age, as it's really young and I'm not sure how much they truly know about defiance and all of that yet. Try not to take it personally mama, if you can
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:41 AM   #4
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Re: Discipline help

YES mama I think you have my 2 1/2 yr. old DS! I have been soooo upset with him for all the same reasons as you. Just dont give up. Stick to your discipline, be consistent. I have better results with IMMEDIATE punishment. I tend to "warn" more than once

Good Luck.
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:02 PM   #5
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Re: Discipline help

I so could have written this! I have no advice for you whatsoever! Just hugs! My 2.5 DS will tell me ok to something and then do it (or not do it), like, Josh, get OFF the dog!!! OK momma, as he stays on top of the poor dog! Or Josh, help mommy pick up your toys, OK, as he continues to sit right where he is!!! It's so frustrating! I also tend to warn more than once, but it's mainly because right when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing, that's right when I'm in the middle of nursing my youngest.
I need help too!
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Old 03-05-2009, 02:14 PM   #6
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Re: Discipline help

I dont have a whole lot of advice. I am trying to change the way I discipline my children and am reading book after book. For the most part all the books say not to tell a child "no" all the time. You can say something along the lines as, " If you get down you can do such and such and have a piece of candy later". Or put something on the counter he "can" play with. If you dont want him on the counter because it is dangerous is there any way to child proof it so he cant even get up there?? A child saying no to everything at 2 is normal.

Also "time outs" we were firm believer in them until I started reading about really all you are doing is isolating the child. With a time out at 2yrs really you just take the child away from the situation and have a cool off period(with you there) telling them it is ok offering hugs. Let tantrums run their course and dont try to stop them.

I know this prob doesnt help a whole lot but I have found gentle and positive discipline seem to really help "me" stay sane through out the day and I try not to let myself get angry at them.

there is a mama on here that has given me some wonderful advice if you want you can pm me and i can have her pm you.
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Old 03-10-2009, 06:14 PM   #7
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Re: Discipline help

Quote:
Originally Posted by mummyof2ooo View Post
I dont have a whole lot of advice. I am trying to change the way I discipline my children and am reading book after book. For the most part all the books say not to tell a child "no" all the time. You can say something along the lines as, " If you get down you can do such and such and have a piece of candy later". Or put something on the counter he "can" play with. If you dont want him on the counter because it is dangerous is there any way to child proof it so he cant even get up there?? A child saying no to everything at 2 is normal.

Also "time outs" we were firm believer in them until I started reading about really all you are doing is isolating the child. With a time out at 2yrs really you just take the child away from the situation and have a cool off period(with you there) telling them it is ok offering hugs. Let tantrums run their course and dont try to stop them.

I know this prob doesnt help a whole lot but I have found gentle and positive discipline seem to really help "me" stay sane through out the day and I try not to let myself get angry at them.

there is a mama on here that has given me some wonderful advice if you want you can pm me and i can have her pm you.
Don't want to hijack but Amy, can you tell me the name of the books you're reading? I'm not a big believer in time-outs either but haven't found something else at this point. I really want to use positive discipline and DH and I are STUMPED about what to do.

To the OP- We're not having quite the battles you are yet but I fear they are on the way if we don't get the boundary-testing firmly under control.
Two year olds are HARD WORK!

More suggestions?
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Old 03-10-2009, 08:32 PM   #8
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Re: Discipline help

sure right now i am reading
Kid, Parents, and power struggles

It is a GREAT book!!
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:19 AM   #9
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Re: Discipline help

Thanks Amy! I'll add it to my list!
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Old 03-11-2009, 06:06 AM   #10
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Re: Discipline help

do you have any baby gates?

I'd put them up where he can't climb under or over him and restrict him from the area. When he asks WHY he can't be in there, tell him it is because he keeps not listening when you say not to get into the candy and drawers.

I'd set him outside when he misbehaves and let him in when he behaves. It's safety really. I'd hate if he got in there when you were sleeping or something and got into trouble and got hurt.

So far we have only one baby gate, but I need more. . . because the kitchen is a bad area for him to be in alone. If he's in the other rooms so far it's ok, but I am thinking of blocking off the bedroom as well so he isn't crawling off when I don't want him to. (some days it's constant back and forth in the hallway... )

They can be a lifesaver really (baby gates).
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