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Old 03-11-2009, 08:17 AM   #11
spotsmum13
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Re: Discipline help

Just be consistent. He is also old enough to start to understand consequences. If you get on the counter you could fall down and get hurt. I love you and don't want you to get hurt. If you get on the counter again I am going to have to take your --- away for the rest of today, or I am going to have to ask you to sit on time away. If you do the time away or take something away, when he comes back from time away, or when you give him his toy or whatever back ask him if he remembers why it was taken to being with? If he can't remember remind him. He is little so 1 hour can seem like all day to him. But he should be old enough to start to learn cause and effect. I found that yelling didn't work, so when my DD does something I lower my voice (we are a pretty loud family). This really gets her attention, and makes her stop. Now just when I threaten to take away TV, her Ipod, or DS she will stop what she is doing. I don't think telling them once, or twice or even 100 times makes the difference, because kids have alot going on in the day, they get busy and I think truly do forget the rule you may have laid out in the morning or a couple days ago.
Also at 2.5 he knows he can do it by himself, so why not? Maybe instead give him something to do, during the times that he seems to be getting into trouble. If you are busy with the baby, ask him to help you. Have him hold the diaper, or get the wipes. If you are doing dinner ask him to set the table. Give him the forks and spoons to put on the table (if he doesn't put them in the right place it doesn't matter). My DD loved to fold the napkins when she was that age and place them for everyone.
You could also try telling him that he is a "big boy" and you "need" his help. If you try telling him that you need to do xyz and you need him to be on his best behaviour, that means no climbing then he will get a reward. I love the reward system!!! I went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of stickers, and coloring books, and other little toys. I put them in a bin. That is the reward. I don't care if I give out 100 stickers in a day. DD thinks she has done a great job. Although we are now a little past that stage, and she wants bigger rewards and can understand time. So we now go and do something or get something special after 1 week of whatever it is I want her to do (right now it's getting on the bus). I would choose your battles. If he is pulling out the drawers, put a lock on them so he cannot pull them out. If he is getting into the cupboards lock them up. My DD used to take out her vitamins to count (never to actually eat) so it got locked up.
I've just found that picking my battles has helped. If I give a choice of 2 things and she won't make the choice I tell her that she has to the count of 3 and I will make the choice for her. When it comes to clothes, I usually lay out 2 outfits, and make sure that both tops can match with either pants. Then if she chooses to wear shirt A with pants B then she still is matching, if we aren't going anywhere I allow her to pick her own clothes. But she knows that on a day we are going out I will lay out stuff. I won't say it gets better because with kids it's always something, but it does get different. The issues will change. At 2 LOs are realizing they can do stuff themselve, they are trying to say hey I'm here, I can do it, watch me, I'm my own person. It's all part of development.
The time outs worked when DD was younger, but it took time, I remember there being days where she seemed to be on time away all the time, and it seemed like I was always dragging her back there because at first she just wouldn't stay. But finally it got to the point that she would get into something and I just had to look at her, and she would usually say "I need to go away".
At 2.5 could he be bored? Maybe he needs to get out and play with other kids even if it were 2 mornings a week.

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Old 03-11-2009, 12:00 PM   #12
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Re: Discipline help

I have one 7 mo. old son and am NOT looking forward the toddler years and all the patience it will take. i have been reading babywise pretoddler and i got some really good general advice.
we are the parents and we are constantly TEACHING out children how to behave (now and later on as adults). as for your son i would start teaching him self control. he should not be on the counter because you said so; period. you are the parent and you have good reason for what you let him do and not do. he doesn't need an explanation. he should just obey. it will come back later in life if you teach him now how to behave correctly. i wouldn't tell him he can have some candy later if he gets down because you are teaching him that when he wants something all he has to do is disobey and see what you offer him for disobeying. you are bribing him. there is no self control needed for that. also if you don't want him to do something in public don't let him do it at home. if you don't want him screaming and having a tantrum in the grocery aisle don't let him have a tantrum at home. kids do need boundaries and its our job as parents to set them and make sure they are obeyed. also be consistent. kids learn by repetition. i hear that is the hardest thing to do when you are at your whits end, but its the most important tool in teaching.
parenting is a tough job but that is why it is so important.
i give this advice but have never practiced it. i hope i can do what i am now saying when the time comes.
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Old 03-11-2009, 03:37 PM   #13
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Re: Discipline help

I'm right there with you mama!!!

My son and my nephew are pushing the limits!!! We call them the "Naughty Twins". One gets a bad idea and the other latches on and goes with it. They are CONSTANTLY on the move.

Time-out works for us at home as a consequence, but it is when I take all four of them out that I have a hard time defining a space for them. When the troops declare mutiny at Target I am in big trouble.
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:54 PM   #14
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Re: Discipline help

Quote:
Originally Posted by beattymama View Post
as for your son i would start teaching him self control. he should not be on the counter because you said so; period. you are the parent and you have good reason for what you let him do and not do. he doesn't need an explanation. he should just obey. it will come back later in life if you teach him now how to behave correctly. i wouldn't tell him he can have some candy later if he gets down because you are teaching him that when he wants something all he has to do is disobey and see what you offer him for disobeying. you are bribing him. there is no self control needed for that. also if you don't want him to do something in public don't let him do it at home. if you don't want him screaming and having a tantrum in the grocery aisle don't let him have a tantrum at home. .
Good luck to you...I would love to hear back when your 7 month old hits 2!!!
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