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Old 03-12-2009, 04:28 PM   #11
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

I like giving my kids indicators of what is next in their day. Schedules aren't necessary when they are young IMO, but structure always is.
Kids crumble if they don't know what to expect.
All of my kids have always been put on a routine from about 6 weeks on...just becuase it is a busy house and if we were all over, nothing would get done and our kids would be tired and so would DH and I.
But we do pretty much the same thing everyday, every nap time, shower/bath/brush teeth and snuggle before bed...(they don't known the time, but their actions will start telling you it's that time)


Won't be me @ if we were in the middle of anything.
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Old 03-12-2009, 05:02 PM   #12
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs View Post
So are you saying that I should put him down for naps the same way everyday (assuming that we are not out and about and he falls asleep on his own... which honestly we don't do that often but it does happen)?

He will not sleep any longer then 1 hour at a time right now. So he has 4 naps even though all the books say he should be on a 3 nap a day schedule.

What else would be part of the routine other then how he goes to sleep for nap/night time?
Try putting him down 2 hours after he wakes up from each nap. His naps will fall into place on their own. Don't stress about it.
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Old 03-12-2009, 05:05 PM   #13
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

A routine is FLEXIBLE, so it's more like we get up, we eat, we play, we nap, we eat, we play, we nap, etc..... It will probably naturally occur around the same time roughly, but it's not like, hey, it's 2 so it's nap time. It's more like, huh, he's starting to loose interest in playing and looks sleepy. Time to nurse him to sleep.
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Old 03-12-2009, 05:07 PM   #14
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

burn the books

like others have said, we have a routine, not a schedule. To us, it just means having a general idea how things will go, for example, we get up in the morning, DS nurses, we play together for a while, then he plays with his toys for a bit, then he is ready for his first nap. That whole process could last 1.5 hours, it could last 3 hours, and it never happens at the same time each day, but I know what will eventually come next.
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Old 03-12-2009, 06:31 PM   #15
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

Routine for us is predictable sleeping, eating and awake periods with self-sleep skills. For 5 month olds we do: Up, nurse, waketime. 2 hours later, nap for 2 hours. Ours learn to fall asleep on their own by 8 weeks so there's no nursing, rocking, singing, etc... to get them to sleep. I lay them down and that's it. Up, nurse, waketime. 2 hours later, nap for 2 hours. Up, nurse, waketime for 2 hours, evening nap like an hour or so. They shorten this one on their own and drop it entirely by around 7 months IME. Up, nurse, waketime, nurse and to bed 2 hours later. Both slept from 8pmish until at least 6amish from 8 weeks on. (I wake them at 10 or 11 for a dream nursing). I have loved the order of things because I know when they're hungry, tired and bored. I have met most of their needs before they're severe enough to need to complain about them so they are happy, easy kids. HTH! GL Mama!
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Old 03-12-2009, 07:17 PM   #16
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

Agreed on the routine. It helps the very beginning of expectations that you will meet their needs. My high needs son needed a routine or else he was out of control. We followed the Eat Awake Sleep pattern of the babywhisperer when he was little. Nothing too strict. But the basic guidelines that allowed for us to meet both of our needs. Although, 100% his and mine only a bit, lol. I don't think it's anything mindblowing, but it certainly helps the parents to partition the day into manageable pieces. If you've ever had a screamer, you know what I mean. I tried to read the same book before naps, stuff like that.

Even now, we have a routine. Breakfast, then he plays while I do some light house work. Then we have 1 on 1 time. Then we do social stuff or errands. Then lunch, books, nap. After nap, anything goes. It helps me to get everything done. I figure he'll need to know there is structure in life eventually, so why not center it around basic daily events. Nothing rigid, though.
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Old 03-12-2009, 07:50 PM   #17
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

I agree that you need to find a balance on what works for your family. I have never gone thru what you have in losing other children so I cannot know how you are feeling with your son HOWEVER I disagree that a baby cannot be spoiled. I have seen first hand very young children who can turn off and on the waterworks to get what they want. I run my own daycare and have worked with children for several years and know countless children that act one way with me and an entirely different way with their parents. Some children are aware enough from a very young age to know what they can do and what gets them what they want. I would just encourage you raise your son in a balanced manner.....every child needs some structure and I am sure you agree that it can be dangerous to decide parenting choices out of guilt. Spoiling can be just as dangerous in some case as neglect. I am in NO way saying that you are a bad parent....just giving some food for thought. It will get harder and harder to set limits as your son gets older and he will be in the terrible twos before you know it.....better to decide your parenting patterns now. There is nothing wrong with making sure baby's routine is healthy for the entire family....everyone in the household is important, not just the youngest one.
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Old 03-12-2009, 10:53 PM   #18
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

The only routine that we have is that at 8pm I get his bottle ready and him in PJ's and start trying to get him to bed. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I don't stress about it, and he kind of has his own routine in the morning. I know at 10:30 and 2pm he needs his naps for sure.
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Old 03-13-2009, 12:48 PM   #19
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

My update today... I started putting him down 2 hours after he wakes up and it has worked great! We really only have about 10-15 minutes of down time; close curtains, change diaper, feed while reading the exact same story every time - yes I had it memorized before this but now I REALLY do!

The only problem is tonight his bedtime will be slightly off because we have to do something tonight. But I figure that I can get him ready for bed before we do this activity (only an hour long) and if he falls asleep in the car then I will not have to mess with him too much when I put him (and me) to bed.
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:32 PM   #20
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Re: Do you need to have a baby on a schedule?

My LO's have all been on schedules. With my last one, I waited until last week to finally do it, but she is my absolute last one, and I thought I'd be able to handle the no schedule thing. But I couldn't. My oldest dd has her set nap/night time and I needed them to be on the same time frame for my piece of mind. Also, with my last baby, it is the only time I've had PPD, other than my miscarriage. I don't know if it had to do with the no schedule thing or not, but life has been so much better on schedule. DD#2 is now 3 months old this week!
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