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Old 12-04-2006, 09:16 AM   #1
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Baby wearing mamas, help!

I love dd and all and I'm savoring every moment of her babyhood since she is our last but if I can't put her down for more than 20 minutes soon I'm going to scream!!!! She's sleeping on my chest right now because everytime I put her down, she starts screaming. She used to sleep most of the night in her crib and would wake up around 3am and come in bed with me to nurse and stay with me until morning. She won't nap during the day either unless she is touching me which makes it very difficult to get anything done during the day. I wear her when I can but there are still some things I just can't do while wearing her that need to be done. Plus since she's stuck to me like glue lately, I feel majorly touched out. She'll go to dh or one of the kids but not willingly and she'll only stay with them if she can see me. And then after about 10-20 minutes she's had enough and will cry until I come get her. Are all "worn" babies like this? Dh and MIL have been saying for months that I'm spoiling her by holding her so much. I didn't think it was possible to spoil a child by holding them but now I'm starting to wonder...... this was progressively gotten worse over the past 2 - 3 weeks.

I've tried everything, toys, food, blankets that smell like me, white noise, music, keeping her nearby, staying out of her sight, different beds....about the only thing I haven't tried is CIO which I don't want to do and I probably wouldn't last 5 minutes anyways even if I did. Please tell me this is just a phase and not some habit I need to break or something all "worn" babies do? (I never wore my other kids so I'm pretty clueless on this one.)

Jeni

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Old 12-04-2006, 09:24 AM   #2
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

My DD's separation anxiety probably peaked around that age. I wore her constantly it seemed during that time! However, she's now a well adjusted, non-clingy 17 month old So my experience is that no, babywearing doesn't make a baby clingy and unable to be alone for even a few minutes. It's probably more age related than anything.

What kind of carrier are you using and what kind of carry are you doing? It was when my DD was going through the same thing that I perfected the back carry and it was the only way I could get things done. Even now if she's having a day where she wants extra attention and I need to get things done, I'll pop her on my back and clean up.

mama, it'll get better! I'm sure it's a phase she's going through.
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Old 12-04-2006, 09:39 AM   #3
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

Right now I'm using a homemade Mei Tai type carrier. I wear her facing me most of the time. I've put her on my back a few times but she likes to pull my hair when she's back there. OUCH! She just cut her first 2 teeth Thanksgiving day and if she's anything like my other kids she's probably getting ready to cut more. My kids tend to cut all their teeth at once. I'm really hoping this is just a stage and she'll get over it ......soon! I feel horrible because when I do get to put her down, my other kids want me but I just feel so touched out that I just want to be by myself, then I feel guilty because my older kids need me too, then the baby starts crying because she realizes I've put her down.....it feels like a never ending cycle, ya know?

Thanks for the reassurance that this too shall pass.

Jeni
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Old 12-04-2006, 09:47 AM   #4
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

We go through the same cycle, I totally feel you!

Getting stuff done while wearing her on the front would be difficult. I was so excited when I finally mastered back carries because it was so much easier to do housework and do things with my other kids if she was on my back. I wear my hair up most of the time so I haven't had a problem with DD pulling my hair but I know other mamas who have had hair pullers. No easy solution for that one that I know of.

I'd really suggest trying to get both of you used to her being on your back-you'll find yourself feeling a lot more free that way.
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Old 12-04-2006, 09:47 AM   #5
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

I have worn my dd (now 18 months) since she was 2 weeks old. There's really not much I don't do while wearing her (save climbing ladders, watersking, etc. lol!) But, I don't wear her "all day long" either. She has independent time and really has never given me much of a protest when putting her down. (I'm really lucky with this child......) She does like her cuddle time and there are sometimes when holding or wearing her is necessary, but I wouldn't say she's either under or overly clingy.

We did go through a brief spell at 14 months, when I went back to work, and she was left with a sitter that she cried everytime I left her, even to go to the bathroom, but that passed within 2 weeks, as she ralized that I'm always coming back.
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Old 12-04-2006, 09:59 AM   #6
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Boys1Girl4Me View Post
I wear my hair up most of the time so I haven't had a problem with DD pulling my hair but I know other mamas who have had hair pullers. No easy solution for that one that I know of.
That's just it, I can pull my hair up in a bun on top of my head where she can't reach and she'll pull at the roots at the base of my neck! She also pulls my other kid's hair if they get too close. She's just a hair puller I guess. For some reason hair fascinates her.

Jeni
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Old 12-04-2006, 10:13 AM   #7
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

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I don't wear her "all day long" either. She has independent time and really has never given me much of a protest when putting her down. (I'm really lucky with this child......) She does like her cuddle time and there are sometimes when holding or wearing her is necessary, but I wouldn't say she's either under or overly clingy.
She didn't used to be like this. She used to be fine playing in the floor by herself for a while or swinging in the swing or going to someone else for a while. She used to lunge for daddy and play on his lap until she fell asleep. But within the past couple she's come to the point where she's not happy unless she's touching me and won't go willingly to someone else. I don't remember my other kids doing this but I didn't wear them at all either which is why I thought it might be a wearing thing. I love wearing her, it feels so natural but I need a break too!


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Old 12-04-2006, 10:20 AM   #8
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

there are also t hings you can attach to your carrier so you can put toys on it
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Old 12-04-2006, 10:29 AM   #9
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertblossom79 View Post
I love dd and all and I'm savoring every moment of her babyhood since she is our last but if I can't put her down for more than 20 minutes soon I'm going to scream!!!! She's sleeping on my chest right now because everytime I put her down, she starts screaming. She used to sleep most of the night in her crib and would wake up around 3am and come in bed with me to nurse and stay with me until morning. She won't nap during the day either unless she is touching me which makes it very difficult to get anything done during the day. I wear her when I can but there are still some things I just can't do while wearing her that need to be done. Plus since she's stuck to me like glue lately, I feel majorly touched out. She'll go to dh or one of the kids but not willingly and she'll only stay with them if she can see me. And then after about 10-20 minutes she's had enough and will cry until I come get her. Are all "worn" babies like this? Dh and MIL have been saying for months that I'm spoiling her by holding her so much. I didn't think it was possible to spoil a child by holding them but now I'm starting to wonder...... this was progressively gotten worse over the past 2 - 3 weeks.

I've tried everything, toys, food, blankets that smell like me, white noise, music, keeping her nearby, staying out of her sight, different beds....about the only thing I haven't tried is CIO which I don't want to do and I probably wouldn't last 5 minutes anyways even if I did. Please tell me this is just a phase and not some habit I need to break or something all "worn" babies do? (I never wore my other kids so I'm pretty clueless on this one.)

Jeni

What you have described was my 2nd and 4th child. I didn't know about good and easy back carries until my fourth so no this is not a "babywearing" thing its just a thing! I learned how to wrap when my 4th was around 9 months old he was going through the same thing as what you described and I had towear him to get anything done. I too felt very much like you but after about a month this "phase" just about went away. by 11 month he was fine. I only wear him in the house when needed which is not very often but when out he is always on my back. And I can say this he is the most well adjusted (not theat my other kids aren't lol but you know what I mean) of my kids...Minda
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Old 12-04-2006, 10:46 AM   #10
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Re: Baby wearing mamas, help!

my dd went through a similar phase around 7mo. Now, at 13mo, she's fine to play on the floor alone again.

I'm sorry you're struggling, but I dont think you're doing anything wrong.
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