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Old 03-21-2009, 09:06 AM   #21
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

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As for the pp who said she couldn't be intimate with her hubby. That makes me sad. I know there is one person who will always love me no matter if he has to roll me in flour and find the wet spot is my husband and I'm sure that is the same for you. (TMI? ) Although, the dtd positions have changed with our weight, I still love being naked with my husband. He's my other half and no I don't want to stand naked in front of him and have him critique my body; however, I do want to be intimate with him and share my body (No matter how I think it is. If he wants me, then that's all that matters.) Yes, I'd like to have the perfectly tone body to do a strip tease for him, but in the mean time....I'll settle for an under the covers tease with the lights dimmed.

What is sad, is I know he loves me for me, and want's to "be with me" no matter how I look. I know he loves my pregnant body... and even my fat not pregnant body. I have never been like this with my other babies. For some reason this time it's just killing me! I think some of it is because he wasn't there for my oldest, when I was a thin hot pregnant mama. I started that pregnancy at 195 and delivered at 196, I ate well and worked a very very fast pased factory job.. 12 hours a day!! I was 163 6 weeks out of that pregnancy... and I felt GREAT! I want my hubby to see my body look sexy when I'm pregnant.. and though I do in his eyes, I don't in mine and that is what crushes me I think. Ok, here I sit crying again.. and I have to go hang out laundry... so I will walk away again.

I'm planning on taking this one meal at a time, one day at a time and if I mess up then I'll start again and again and again. That is exactly what works...I know it does.

Thank you ladies fo the love and support. I plan to continue posting here about my struggles and would love for you to do the same. Mamas of FAT Aprons Unite!
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Old 03-21-2009, 09:18 AM   #22
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

hugs mama, i am holding a little one so i have to be short, but for your tummy muscles that seperated there is somethign you can do to fix it, it happened to me this last preg, and my friend helped with some exercises cuz she had it after her 3rd and ended up with a hernia and such, but she finally found a good doc who gaver her some exercises that can strengthen the muscles and get them back together.... DO NOT do sit ups as it will make it worse!! i will post links when i can get the lo to stop fussing !!! hang in there mama... and you ARE beautiful!!
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Old 03-21-2009, 09:41 AM   #23
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

I am with you! Although I only have my 2 boys....I was never a small girl. I started WW (at 210 lbs and 5'4") about 6 months before I got pregnant with my twins and lost 40 lbs. So I started my pregnancy at 170 but gained 52 lbs. I am now at 208. It is really frustrating. This week my hubby and I decided that it is time! We are holding a Biggest Loser competition for the next 10 weeks to get us started. Both of us are really competitive and so far it has helped a lot. I just wanted to let you know I totally understand the feeling of frustration. It is so hard to look in the mirror and feel awful but you sound determined to make a change and I know you can do it! Hopefully I can too!
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Old 03-21-2009, 05:50 PM   #24
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

i just wanted to say that with a positive attitude like the one you are developing, you can change this situation...and what is amazing is that that (your outlook and motivation) is the only thing (not even the extra weight) that is between you and your wonderful life.
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Old 03-21-2009, 06:02 PM   #25
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

Don't beat yourself up one more minute. You are creating life and it is so special and sacred. Just focus on a healthy baby and healthy mom and enjoy this wonderful time. You can deal with the other stuff later. Remember many of us, even the petite mamas, have all sorts of war wounds that come with being pregnant and giving birth. As for mine, I just think about the wonderful experience that I was given. Good luck!
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Old 03-21-2009, 06:43 PM   #26
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

Hugs hon, I've been there and it SUUUUUUCKS!

Pregnancy isn't the time to worry about weight or body image, but you CAN eat healthier if you really want to.

I suggest you print off your original post and put it on the fridge, that way it looks you in the face everytime you reach for something unhealthy. I did this with a picture that was taken of me looking absolutely revolting in a swimsuit- it was a friendly reminder that I didn't need that pudding cup or chocolate bar, but I could eat an apple or some hummus and a pita. I also got rid of ALL the unhealthy food in the house- if dh didn't like it, tough for him. If it's not there, you can't eat it- and if others in the house don't like this, you can remind them that, as far as you know, no one has died from a lack of junk food. It could be a great opportunity for your family to eat healthier (if they don't already).

You're a beautiful girl- it's great that you believe this to be a problem and want to acknowledge it!! You CAN do it if you put your mind to it- just have faith in yourself!!! But please, don't worry yourself sick over it while pregnant- you already have so much else to worry about, there is plenty of time to get into shape afterwards.
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Old 03-21-2009, 08:33 PM   #27
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

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Originally Posted by momtopintsizeddictator View Post

Pregnancy isn't the time to worry about weight or body image, but you CAN eat healthier if you really want to.


you make some great points. pregnancy isnt the time to be self conscious, but body image follows you everywhere. the author of the original post is developing emotionally and i think she took the first steps to have a healthy frame of mind! im so glad that you & husband had a nice time outside!!!! the plans you made today with your hubby and the newfound determination that you have is something i strive for. i'm the biggest procrastinator, so i envy you for taking charge today! good for you


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Originally Posted by momtopintsizeddictator View Post
I suggest you print off your original post and put it on the fridge, that way it looks you in the face everytime you reach for something unhealthy. I did this with a picture that was taken of me looking absolutely revolting in a swimsuit- it was a friendly reminder that I didn't need that pudding cup or chocolate bar, but I could eat an apple or some hummus and a pita. I also got rid of ALL the unhealthy food in the house- if dh didn't like it, tough for him. If it's not there, you can't eat it- and if others in the house don't like this, you can remind them that, as far as you know, no one has died from a lack of junk food. It could be a great opportunity for your family to eat healthier (if they don't already).
from my dieting days, i have to say this is the best reminder of what really works! if you have to look at yourself (in a way that makes you unhappy, whether its a picture or a post) it will deter you from falling off the path.

and i forget about this all the time : you can't eat what's not available! i wish i always remembered that concept, because back when i used to grocery shop alone my husband and i were in much better shape.
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Old 03-22-2009, 12:24 AM   #28
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

Mama,

I just wanted to say I can totally relate. I started to lose weight then got preggers with #2 then with this one I had lost almost 40lbs, then bam ended up preggers again. I admire you for opening up and not being afraid to say your weight. I wish I had that courage! I am looking forward to losing more weight after this baby and keeping it off for good.

Thankfully, I have been pretty much the same size from when my husband and I met so he knows and loves what he has.
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Old 03-22-2009, 09:44 PM   #29
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

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hugs mama, i am holding a little one so i have to be short, but for your tummy muscles that seperated there is somethign you can do to fix it, it happened to me this last preg, and my friend helped with some exercises cuz she had it after her 3rd and ended up with a hernia and such, but she finally found a good doc who gaver her some exercises that can strengthen the muscles and get them back together.... DO NOT do sit ups as it will make it worse!! i will post links when i can get the lo to stop fussing !!! hang in there mama... and you ARE beautiful!!

I'm looking forward to those links as well!
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Old 03-23-2009, 06:05 AM   #30
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Re: Obese Fat Apron vent.

I want to offer you big HUGS mama. I know how depressing it can be. I have gained over 50 lbs. since my first child and now I'm pg again (by choice), but seeing the weight gain is depressing me and I'm halfway through and have anothe 20 weeks of being pg. While I love being pg, I hate that I never take the extra weight off. Not even with bf'ing. It just doesn't fall off like it does for some people. Then when I stop bf'ing I gain a little more. You're not alone. I hope you find some support that you need. You are beautiful! You have 4 almost 5 beautiful children and a wonderful husband who loves you!
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