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Old 03-25-2009, 02:36 PM   #1
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Will it get better?

HELP! I am not getting anything done ... I am working on getting our routine somewhat 'routine' but with a 23 month old and 5 week old - I am feeling ANGRY at not being able to get through a day and accomplish one or two things that are absolutely necessary. Am I being completely unrealistic?

DH works during dinner and I feel totally overwhelmed between 4 and 8 pm - and then I'm just ready for bed but LO may or may not go down for the night until after 10 (if I'm lucky).

ACK!

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Old 03-25-2009, 02:44 PM   #2
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Re: Will it get better?

Hang in there, as we all know, IT TAKES TIME!!!
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Old 03-26-2009, 01:46 PM   #3
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Re: Will it get better?

Honestly I am having the hardest time with laundry and dinner ... ACK! Plus, I barely have time to pee! I'm just working on getting by one day at a time. I think what will help is I MUST find a part-time sitter/mother's helper. DH is just not helping me (he has grad school and work, so I know it's not that he doesn't *want* to ... I've got to get some WORK done for my teaching.)
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Old 03-26-2009, 02:01 PM   #4
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Re: Will it get better?

I hear ya, mama. I have a 3 yo and a 6 wk old (plus the 11 and 13 yo's who some days are more difficult/work than the baby and 3 yo). What has helped me with dinners is whenever the baby is sleeping (and not nursing lol), I cook. I may end up making dinner at 7am, but then it's ready and there is no hassle at dinnertime. I also love my crock pot. In 3 minutes (approx), I can have a great meal cooking which again needs no prep time at dinnertime.
I so know how you feel though. My 6 wk old (right now, I know she'll grow out of it) believes she MUST have me, not dh between the hours of 9 and 11:30 (which just happen to be tthe hours he can help lol). So I know what you mean about time to pee.I keep reminding myself of how quickly it goes.
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Old 03-26-2009, 02:19 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by isabelsmom View Post
I hear ya, mama. I have a 3 yo and a 6 wk old (plus the 11 and 13 yo's who some days are more difficult/work than the baby and 3 yo). What has helped me with dinners is whenever the baby is sleeping (and not nursing lol), I cook. I may end up making dinner at 7am, but then it's ready and there is no hassle at dinnertime. I also love my crock pot. In 3 minutes (approx), I can have a great meal cooking which again needs no prep time at dinnertime.
I so know how you feel though. My 6 wk old (right now, I know she'll grow out of it) believes she MUST have me, not dh between the hours of 9 and 11:30 (which just happen to be tthe hours he can help lol). So I know what you mean about time to pee.I keep reminding myself of how quickly it goes.
This is what I think I may have to do also. I just need to get organized. Between just keeping up on the moment to moment, though, I'm finding it hard to get the time to organize ... and thus, the cycle begins again each day.
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Old 03-26-2009, 03:04 PM   #6
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Re: Will it get better?

we have 5 LO's 6 yr to 8 months, when newestDD was born I found crock pots meal, casseroles and lots of spaghetti were our staples, as for time to pee, I always have kids in the bahtroom,lol never alone. but seriously hang in,it will be a beautiful blur as you look back.

my DH worked fulltime as well, so when your DH home try grab a catnap or two,helps alot. I had PPD with my twins, mostly i think due to sleep deprivation as they were quite sick. so my only help is rest when you can, do what you can and try not to let the mountain of laundry get the better of you!
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:27 AM   #7
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Re: Will it get better?

Quote:
Originally Posted by frogandtoad View Post
Honestly I am having the hardest time with laundry and dinner ... ACK! Plus, I barely have time to pee! I'm just working on getting by one day at a time. I think what will help is I MUST find a part-time sitter/mother's helper. DH is just not helping me (he has grad school and work, so I know it's not that he doesn't *want* to ... I've got to get some WORK done for my teaching.)

hang in there mama. use the crock pot or premake meals in the am to help alleviate the evening chaos. i can say that i don't even take my own advice, but when i remember to throw it in the pot or make it in the morning for the evening, life is much better.

as for laundry, i have baskets of clean clothes in the garage (so they don't overtake my living room) waiting to be folded. i am happy that they are clean and have resigned that eventually they will find their way into a dresser. but i have given myself so much most leeway on that front with 9 people in the house, cloth diapers and babies with reflux. i do at least 2 loads/day. at least. i envy that kate woman from john and kate +8 b/c she has a neighbor that comes over to fold and put away clothes...

babies are only small for a very brief period of time. really try to spend time with them now. everything else can wait.

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Old 04-01-2009, 07:17 PM   #8
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Re: Will it get better?

Mama, I hear you on the anger. I got major depression last month or a while back and DD was already 6-7 mos! It presented itself as anger.
It happens. You get frustrated because u know what u are capable of but u feel like u are failing and it's your or your kids' fault. - that's just how u feel - I KNOW. I'm THERE.
dont force yourself to be super-mom. Kids will have to settle for what u can give them - OR they can start pitching in. We got rid of a LOT of clothes - this helped a ton with the laundry. Now everyone has thier own colored basket with handles and stuff goes in it from the dryer or on hangers & they put their clothes away. (Well, my 5yo does)
Keep eggs and pancake mix or frozen waffles & sausages on hand. Use that as a backup dinner or have at least once for dinner each week.
Hang in there. Make things as easy as u can on yourself. At first I didnt know what this meant. It means tell yourself - write it and stick it to the fridge or mirror - that u are doing a great job! U have little ones and that is a HUGE job. more than today;s world gives credit for. Allow time for things and try not to get frustrated when u get behind. Kids can wear dirty clothes, it won;t hurt them. Ive been known to pull out dirty socks for my kids to wear somewhere. No one will know. DS wants to wear jammie shirt to the zoo? let them. Someone's sheets are wet? Throw a towel or fleece blanket over the sheet for the time being. make it easy - you'll find your older ones can come up with the solutions for u if u let them.
then sit and enjoy your kids together. I wish I had 4.
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:12 PM   #9
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Re: Will it get better?

I have 3.5 kids right now and work from home on the computer. Recently, I started making a schedule each evening for the next day. It is simple- here is an example.

AM

- Wash 2 loads of clothes
- Do X amt of work (my paying job)
- Take a walk
- Dishes

PM

- Fold 2 loads of laundry
- Cook X for dinner
- Do X amt of work
- Sweep living room floor

That's it! And I have an 8 yr old in school all day, an almost 3 yr old, and a 19 mos old. I am 23 wks preggo and TIRED though. I highlight the stuff I have completed. There are always lots of other stuff to be done, of course, but when I lay out a few "goals" for myself for the morning and then the afternoon, I can feel accomplished at the end of the day. And, it gives me a direction to head in when I wake up. I also have a routine written down for the 2 toddlers- they operate better when they can predict their day and it means I get more done. Here is their routine.

7:30 wake up/breakfast (I wake them by this time, but sometimes they get up as early as 6:30)
9:30 Snack
10:30 play outside
11:30 lunch (nice way to get them back in the house and settled down)
12:00 nap (my 19 mos old naps and I put a movie on in my bed for 3 yr old- he almost always falls asleep, but sometimes it is not until 1:30 or so- BUT he has to stay in bed so at least it is time for me to get stuff done. )
2:00ish Wake up/snack
3:30 Play outside (sometimes we skip this and play outside after dinner instead- depends how nutty they are!)
4:30 Come inside/get ready for dinner.
5:00 Dinner (I am lucky in that Dh usually cooks dinner. If not, I do crockpot or something quick and easy like spaghetti)
7:00 Bath/books/brush teeth
8:00 bedtime- all my kids go to bed easily- my dd was a horrible sleeper for the first 3 yrs of her life so I worked hard to get the boys to go to bed well on their own- they are both addicted to pacis though...

My dd is 8 and has soccer practice and other things that throw the schedule off, and it rarely goes exactly as I have it laid out, but it is there, we basically follow it, and it helps me bring chaos to order and at least *feel* like I am running the show.

I only take about 10 min or less a day to think about and write out my schedule and it has helped my sanity. I am a disorganized person who needs that organization to feel sane- that is the hardest part about not working out of the home and part of the reason I quit homeschooling dd- I need that school routine to get us up every a.m., plus it makes it where the boys naturally fall into a routine of getting up early and going down early.

HTH!
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:19 PM   #10
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Re: Will it get better?

Oh, and to answer your question... yes it will get easier. My boys were exactly 16 mos apart and I had REALLY bad thrush for months after the youngest was born. I was in tears and bleeding and pumping, using nipple shields, washing everything afterwards, plus everything was purple from the Gentian Violet. I remember those first few months of not getting much of anything done, but it gradually got better and now that they are 19 mos and about to turn 3, they play together and can entertain each other, plus they are not as needy as they used to be, so MUCH MUCH easier.
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