Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-31-2009, 11:23 PM   #1
Liddle1
Registered Users
Formerly: tummy mommy
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 5,602
Angry does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

nak..no flames, if you cio that's your choice. mine is not to cio.

everyone is telling dh cio works and he's pushing me to do it. ds is on his own schedule and it changes every 2 weeks so im fine with it. tired but what can you do... he's 6 months old :P i just go with it now because it doesn't seem to matter what I do. I kept him up during the day, that worked for 2 weeks. etc etc....

anyway, I'm sorry but I'm not doing CIO with DS. I've left him to cry occasionally when, say... I'm cooking and have raw meat all over my hands and can't pick him up until I'm done.. he just gets more and more upset until he's full out screaming. the same thing he does in the car when I can't pull over to soothe him, he's gone 45 minutes screaming in his car seat so hard his face gets splotchy for hours after and he's choking.... with no signs of stopping!

just looking for hard evidence.

Advertisement

Liddle1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2009, 11:37 PM   #2
bellasophy04's Avatar
bellasophy04
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 776
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html
__________________


Last edited by bellasophy04; 03-31-2009 at 11:43 PM.
bellasophy04 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 12:39 AM   #3
rosefall's Avatar
rosefall
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,733
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

It also helps to get DH to stop saying things that solicit unwanted advice. I suggested my DH start saying things like, "he just got his first tooth", or "he's really close to crawling", when anyone asks how DS is rather than even letting the conversation go near sleep. His coworkers were all suggesting CIO too, and since he's taken this approach, I don't think it's come up.
__________________
Mommy to DS 8-23-08, DD 9-19-10, and DD 11-25-12. I'm probably
rosefall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 03:11 AM   #4
burnsis's Avatar
burnsis
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,651
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

I tend to just nod and let it go in one ear and out the other. I am not one for confrontation. If I know what I am doing is right, what anyone else says isn't going to change my mind.
burnsis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 07:29 AM   #5
Lisa_delo's Avatar
Lisa_delo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southern California.
Posts: 3,594
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

Here is a great book

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0071381392

Its also explains the reasons why not to let your baby. Very interesting read.
__________________
Mummy to 4, our latest addition came 12/20/2010
My life =
Lisa_delo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 07:38 AM   #6
Nanner99's Avatar
Nanner99
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,549
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tummy mommy View Post
nak..no flames, if you cio that's your choice. mine is not to cio.

everyone is telling dh cio works and he's pushing me to do it. ds is on his own schedule and it changes every 2 weeks so im fine with it. tired but what can you do... he's 6 months old :P i just go with it now because it doesn't seem to matter what I do. I kept him up during the day, that worked for 2 weeks. etc etc....

anyway, I'm sorry but I'm not doing CIO with DS. I've left him to cry occasionally when, say... I'm cooking and have raw meat all over my hands and can't pick him up until I'm done.. he just gets more and more upset until he's full out screaming. the same thing he does in the car when I can't pull over to soothe him, he's gone 45 minutes screaming in his car seat so hard his face gets splotchy for hours after and he's choking.... with no signs of stopping!

just looking for hard evidence.
Everyone already gave the links I know of, but wanted to say I went through this with dd (8 yrs now). She was a car screamer and a terrible sleeper. Try to come up with a couple of lines to say when people (including dh) challenge your choice. Does your dh help you out with bedtime? If not, then I would tell him he has no say in the matter if he is pressuring you (in a nice way ).

I actually did some CIO with each of my boys, but it was limited and they just never got as upset as my dd- they are also just different personalities. But now that I am on the other side- the one who has babies that go to sleep on their own and sleep well- I get all this praise from these people. It is ridiculous. Why does everyone care so much how my kids sleep?
__________________
Sara Wife to Bret , Mom to Kodi 9-10-00 , Owen 4-21-06 , Luke 8-21-07 , and our miracle baby, June 8-4-09
I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar...
Nanner99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 07:43 AM   #7
ForCryingOutLoud's Avatar
ForCryingOutLoud
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home of the Pittsburgh Penguins!
Posts: 10,968
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanner99 View Post
Why does everyone care so much how my kids sleep?
Seriously! Are they waking up in the middle of the night, are they losing sleep? No!
Everyone thinks that their way is the best and try and push it on others because well it worked for me... it can work for you type of attitude.

I'd say we go with the flow & really have no problem with his changing schedule. And then talk about something else.
__________________
Questions or Concerns please email me at teresa@fcoladvocacy.com
ForCryingOutLoud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 07:57 AM   #8
abbycadabby
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 2,881
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanner99 View Post
Why does everyone care so much how my kids sleep?
Oh, ITA, ITA!

I have a next door neighbor who is very quick to tell me that I am raising "undisciplined and defiant" children because I practice AP parenting. And every single night, without fail, I hear both of her poor babies crying themselves to sleep. Can I tell you how badly it breaks my heart to hear them CIO? My choice to not CIO makes me a quieter, easier neighbor to live with!
So why does she care that my 2 yo gets to cuddle in our bed if he wakes up at night?

Ok, you asked for links, OP. I have a couple. Here's one about a particular parenting approach (Babywise, evil book) and how "scheduling" an EBF baby can lead to health issues:

http://ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

Here's one about excessive crying and sleep disturbances, eating problems:

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/531804

This one shows lowered IQ in babies that cry often:

http://www.apparenting.com/research_...in_babies.html
abbycadabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 08:29 AM   #9
ashleymarie_82's Avatar
ashleymarie_82
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 661
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

I'm a first time mom, and honestly, I'm not really sure what the details are when you mean cry it out. If you mean, always let you child cry for a while before you go to them, then no, I don't do that.

I have my guidelines. First, they are 9 month twins and yes they are my first, so it was really hard and really useful at the same time. Now, I know when something is really wrong and when they are just fussing. For example, we have an open floor plan from our kitchen to living room and if they see me in the kitchen, then I walk to the bedroom where they can't see me, they will fuss; maybe even cry for a minute. But then they are fine without me intervening.

I did use babywise which was recommended to me by my best friend. I had two premature babies who, in the beginning woke up every 2-3 hours during the night to eat. Well, when they were about 6 weeks old, I realized that it didn't matter what time they ate last, how much they ate or what time I put them to bed, they woke up at 2AM on the dot, then again at 4:30AM. DH was no help (still isn't, but that's another story). He did not help me one bit in taking care of them at night. So basically, at 2:00 when I fed DD, changed her and burped her, then took care of DS, changed and burped him, it was already 3:30 and I got 30 minutes of sleep before it was time to do it again. The only real sleep I got was from about 11:00pm until 2:00am for 8 weeks. I was so sleep deprived that I couldn't walk (seriously). I felt drunk all the time. Everything was spinning and I was constantly dizzy. I had no choice but to get them to sleep. I was scared to drive or to even carry them thinking I would fall or drop them because I was so sick.

Anyway, my friend recommended Babywise and when I took them to the Ped at 5 weeks (who is also my family doc) I asked him if he had ever heard of it. He was a strong advocate for it and strongly encouraged me to use it. He also taught a class on it. He said he could tell that I desperately needed sleep. We started Babywise when they were 7 weeks and 4 days old. By 8 weeks, they were sleeping through the night from 10pm to 6am. They had had a habit of waking at 2 and 4:30. They weren't waking out of hunger, but habit. I was very very very learly of this, but heard a lot of praise and finally convinced myself it would be okay. And it was. The first 3 nights they woke up at 2 and 4:20 just like usual. But they cried themselves back to sleep.

Now, at 9 months they go to bed at 8:30pm and wake up at 8:00am. They eat every 4 hours and they have NEVER been underweight or deprived or malnourished or anything like that. DS had reflux diagnosed at 5 weeks and he never had any problems with the schedule either.

So that's my experience with CIO. As far as just letting them scream their heads off, no I don't. I know the cries and I know which ones are serious. But I also know that if I can't get to them right away, they will be okay crying for a few minutes. I always jump at tears though - I'm a sucker!

And mine love being in the car, so I'm no help there! However, I do believe that if you don't jump everytime they whimper they will cry less and be happier toddlers and more independent adults. (I'm a psych major so I strongly believe the beginning of life has a drastic impact on adulthood). Tough love, but it works.

To each his own and as far as people asking, it's none of their business. Although, it does blow people out of the water when I tell them that my twins have been sleeping through the night since they were 8 weeks and they have a 2 year old that still doesn't.

Wow, that was a long one!!!
ashleymarie_82 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 08:30 AM   #10
greek4's Avatar
greek4
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 3,408
My Mood:
Re: does anyone have any studies on why not to cry it out?

We do CIO now that DS is over 1 year old.

I just had a suggestion about the car screaming. DS screamed nonstop in the car from week 6 until week 12 when I moved him to his convertable seat. Turns out he didn't like being forced to lay down.
__________________
Emily....Proud wife of Drew, mother to Kole (8/07), Chase (7/09), Ansley (4/11), and Avery and Camden (10/13)
greek4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.