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Old 04-06-2009, 11:12 AM   #1
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I really wish...

that I were having twins. My first pregnancy was identical twins - a big surprise to all but I lost them to suspected TTTS sometime between 9 and 11 weeks.

So this is my fourth pregnancy in less than two years and the first to make it past the first trimester. So while I'm thrilled to actually be pregnant and starting to feel like I can count on this baby coming in September, I'm still really sad that I'll never get to be the momma of identicals.

Please no flames. I'm not saying this is rational or even right to feel this way, but it's how I feel. Anyone else have similar feelings? If so, how did you deal with them?

TIA

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Old 04-06-2009, 01:25 PM   #2
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Re: I really wish...

I can understand, mama!
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:07 PM   #3
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Re: I really wish...

I am sorry that you have lost babies in the past. There is no way that I could understand what you have gone thru but I wanted to send some love your way. It is exciting to hear that you are past the first tri. this time and I wish you a healthy baby. The only thing I can suggest is to remain positive and put your focus on what you do have instead of what you don't. I am in NO way saying that will be easy though....best wishes to you.
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:23 PM   #4
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Re: I really wish...

You need time to mourn what you have lost. I have yet to lose and hope to never lose a pregnancy so I can only imagine the pain of losing a double pregnancy. Don't beat yourself up for wanting something that could have been yours.
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Old 04-14-2009, 03:23 PM   #5
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Re: I really wish...

While I have not been where you are, I totally understand why you would feel this way. I am really hoping for twins when I get pregnant again. We do IVF. They transfer 2 babies each time. To me, twins is what I should have each time. 2 babies in, 2 babies out. I did got them the last time and I just know that even though I'll be thrilled with the next baby too, I will be very sad it it's not twins again.

Plus, I wanted to add, having had a miscarriage also, one baby never replaces the other. I lost one and then got pregnant with 2. The 2 babies I had doesn't mean I didn't lose a baby. I still lost my child (or children. It was never confirmed if it was 1 or 2). I was very happy about being pregnant and loved the babies I did have, but it didn't change the hurt I felt over missing the one I lost. It's okay to grieve and be happy at the same time.
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Old 04-15-2009, 05:15 PM   #6
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Old 04-19-2009, 08:42 AM   #7
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Re: I really wish...

Momma! I have unfortunately been exactly where you are. I had fraternal twin girls and lost one at 3 months along. I was fortunate enough to get my beautiful litle girl from it, but will never ever forget my little girl that didnt get teh opportunity to join us(Brooke)
I seriously thought that I was done having children after my daughter was born. It was such a bittersweet day for us here.
When we found out we were expecting again, I honestly didnt know how to feel. I was scared and sad, and happy all at once. When we found out we were expecting twins again, this time identicals, I was petrified. I couldnt enjoy the pregnancy at all. How sad is that. Although I wouldnt change a thing, and my boys mean the whole world to me. I love them more than anything. I was so consumed with emotions adn worry that I didnt get the chance to enjoy it all.
You will never forget or replace the baby/ies you have lost no matter how much time passes or how many children you have. You need some time to grief and mourn your incredible losses. You have every right to feel those feelings. It is unfair and we may never fully understand the reasosn behind it. But do know that you will always be a twin mommy. You are not selfish and your feelings are certainly not wrong at all.
Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and if you ever need someone to talk with, please feel free to pm me at anytime. Take care! Dawn
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Old 04-20-2009, 07:32 AM   #8
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Re: I really wish...

Oh you guys are just so wonderful, perfect strangers and still so supportive and comforting. I'm really glad that I stumbled upon this community.
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Old 04-20-2009, 07:46 AM   #9
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Re: I really wish...

I am so sorry! I know how you feel. I had 3 preg. in about 10mo. and my 2 first ended in miscarriages...but that third one gave me a beautiful healthy chubby baby and when he was 3mo. old I was pregnant with my other chubby DS, and when he was 5 mo. old got preg. with DS due in Aug. Haven't had issues with miscarriages now that I have gone through a full preg. so I hope you get that luck also. I don't know if I was ever preg. with twins (I doubt it), but I do sometimes if was more than one in there to make up for the ones that I lost...but am also so thrilled to have almost 3 boys that are extremely healthy and alive. Congrats on this one making it so far!!!
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Old 04-21-2009, 01:28 PM   #10
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Re: I really wish...

Oh I wish I could give you a real hug. I lost my twin babies too, I wasn't married at the time either. It was so hard for me to get past, and still is a hard topic for me to think about. I have wanted twins since forever. It was my life dream. It's okay to feel like you do. You are going to be an awesome mommy one day soon! I had a LO last September. I wish you the best of luck, and pray that everything goes perfectly.
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